"Best things come in small packages" said to a tall person

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amother

Khaki

Wed, Jul 24 2019, 11:41 pm

By the way, I'm super short, 4"10, and have been tiny my whole life. I despise despise despise when people told that to me, and I heard it very often. It was patronizing and infantilizing.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:15 am

Good things come in small packages- that's why we all start out as babies, nice and small😜😜😜

EsaEinai

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 1:02 am

honeymoon wrote:

Aunt: "Good things come in small packages."

You: "Well, I guess I am the exception to the rule."

I loved so many of the suggestions, but this one is just brilliant!! Let us know what you say and how it goes.

zaq

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 5:53 am

Actually, the expression is “GOOD things come in small packages”, and the logical response to that is “and in medium and large packages as well.”

sushilover

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 8:47 am

Flip Flops wrote:

I'd love to hear what she'd reply to this one.

Im not the OP, but I have an aunt who sounds exactly like hers.
My aunt's reaction to such an answer would be to laugh condescendingly and say "oh my goodness, why are you being so sensitive?! I guess you are really insecure about your height, honey. I'm sorry if you were insulted, but you should really work on your confidence."

Then in the future, she'd still comment on my height, but add, "Oh I forgot. Are you still sensitive about that? I'm so sorry! "
Making it 100 times worse.

amother

Wheat

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 9:05 am

sushilover wrote:

That's why answering, "I guess I'm the exception!" is the best response, IMO. If said with a smile, it's inoffensive and doesn't really lend itself to that kind of response.

sushilover

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 10:22 am

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

That's why answering, "I guess I'm the exception!" is the best response, IMO. If said with a smile, it's inoffensive and doesn't really lend itself to that kind of response.

Exactly.
Unless OP truly feels that her aunt is well meaning.

amother

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 10:33 am

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

By the way, I'm super short, 4"10, and have been tiny my whole life. I despise despise despise when people told that to me, and I heard it very often. It was patronizing and infantilizing.

I understand. It's the same for tall people when people comment on their height. It's rude.

It is annoying that people think it is acceptable to comment on a person's height. Most people would not comment on someone's weight.

Ironically, I have got 2 cousins (not daughters of this aunt) who are extremely overweight (and also quite tall.) I do not hear her making comments in front of them.

I've had comments about my height before and it's as if people think I think I'm better than them because I'm tall, which is absolutely not the case. Apart from the fact I just haven't got that kind of personality, I've always disliked being tall. I feel unattractive and it prevented me from following my career of choice.

I've had some really good replies here. Thanks everyone! My aunt has a tendency to take offense at whatever she can so I can't use some of my favourite answers from here because I don't want anyone (other family members who will be there) to think negatively about me.

Also, she makes comments about my height directly to me but the one about the best things coming in small packages she says to her daughter in front of me, so if I say something it would not be replying directly to her.

I'm actually a bit more worried that she'll say something to/ about my daughter than about me, especially since she is the same age as her granddaughter.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 11:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

In that case it may be best to call her before the visit and say "I just want to let you know that my daughter feels self conscious about her height so please don't comment on it in front of her, thank you.". Signed, your fellow tall friend (5'8") who also can't understand why people can shame tall or skinny girls but not heavy girls

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:19 pm

Height is not comparable to weight.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:30 pm

I feel blessed that my children have a cool Aunt.

I had a friend who is tall (about 5'8) and everyone else in her family is average height ( so men about 5'10). It would drive her crazy when she'd be like with her brothers on an airplane and the flight attendant would say "must be cramped in there for you since you're so tall"! And she was like "I'm still shorter than the men!"

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:36 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Height is not comparable to weight.

Shame is shame, sorry. Classmates, adults, anyone with insecurities felt I was fair game growing up to shame with comments like "how's the weather up there?" and "you know boys are intimidated by tall girls, right?" and "Omg, when you walked in the room I thought you were a man for a second because you are SO tall!". It hurt and made me feel unattractive, unlovable, and unfeminine, just like fat shaming feels to a heavy girl. So please develop your sensitivity to all people, not just heavy people.

Laiya

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 12:44 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Height is not comparable to weight.

It's always wrong to comment on a person's physical characteristics, unless it's a genuine compliment. And even then it needs to be said with tact.

amother

Silver

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 1:43 pm

As someone short and skinny I hate when people think I am fair game for teasing. Even saying "you look good, I see you put on weight". Stop commenting on it. I won't say "you look less like a hippo these days, good job" or "why cant you control your fork and knife issue" or anything else I really want to retort after you skinny/short shame me. I know better. Plus I get all the hate thrown my way for daring to comment on a heavier person's weight.

Stop body shaming me- even if it is because you are jealous, insecure or just not informed. I hate hearing that I look like a 15 year old. I hate people asking where my older sister is. I have had it my whole life- when a mom would pick me up to babysit she would ask me to get my sister because no way I am the high school girl. Um she was in 6th grade then. She might be 4 inches taller than me but I am the older, more responsible one. Yeah I never got called back because of course someone 4"11 couldn't be a responsible babysitter. Can't Believe It

Stop body shaming all types!!

rivkeyb

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 1:47 pm

You've got to think about big things while you're doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.

Dandelion1

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 4:03 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

There is a good comeback, but it only works for a man.

"Is that what you tell Uncle Frank?"

amother

Natural

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 4:10 pm

...Oh I'm not even that tall... everything must look high from certain angles.

(just for the humour!)

amother

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 5:16 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Height is not comparable to weight.

Why do you say so? What's the difference?

Beingreal

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 6:36 pm

I am short, 4"9 and I am think I am a good package....😊

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 6:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why do you say so? What's the difference?

Height is not seen as a personal failing.

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