Phones for HS students

chestnut

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:48 am

salt wrote:

One of the downsides of whatsapp is that it's addictive. You can't have a normal conversation with someone without jumping at every beep and alert on your phone.
Secondly it makes shaming, gossip, bullying much too easy.

Obviously everyone's going to say if you know how to use it in the right amounts then it's harmless.
But the problem is if you don't...

Fair enough. What's a better solution - train the kids to practice responsible usage or just prohibit? Phones go to an office bin while in school anyway; kids survive!

LovesHashem

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 11:29 am

chestnut wrote:

Fair enough. What's a better solution - train the kids to practice responsible usage or just prohibit? Phones go to an office bin while in school anyway; kids survive!

I say educate.
Educate why they are addictive, how they affect their brain. Bring in an addiction specialists, print out articles and studies, talk about ways to use this stuff well.

And let them decide if they want to deal with it or not.
That's what my seminary did.

The left the decision about what to do after seminary up to us.

LovesHashem

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 11:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ok.
What's the harm in texting, whatsapp, and a city bus schedule app? Talking to boys?

It's addictive.
It cuts down human interaction.
It's not healthy for people to use these technologies.

Do some research. There's studies.
They cause anxiety, depression, having your smartphone in same room as you significantly reduces your cognitive abilities. When you meet someone IRL studies show if your phone is out they subconsciously feel unimportant.

amother

Green

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 11:48 am

chestnut wrote:

Her school doesn't allow smartphones, right? What's her opinion on the rules vs. the reality? Just thinking out loud - if so many (75%! Crazy!) have it anyways, isn't it better to allow it, with restrictions/guidelines?
What hypocrisy in adults are you referring to? These rules or in life in general?

This is exactly how I feel. Its so much easier for a school to say no, but it would be much smarter for them to teach responsible phone usage.

Somone recently told me that her dds school let's the girls have cell phones, but teaches them the risks and dangers. I wish I could send to such a school but I live in lakewood where there are no such schools. So, like many, many other parents we send to a Lakewood high school and we don't follow the rules.

amother

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 12:43 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

Oh, I see, you meant in this regard. That's what parental control app is for, for out of school time. While in school, they don't have access to it anyway.
Tbh, I doubt these are the reasons schools prohibit texting, whatsapp, other apps.

LovesHashem

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 12:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is why schools ban smartphone entirely.
It's a distraction and it's totally unnecessary/

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 1:11 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

Please provide links to a study stating that having a smartphone in the same room as you -- not being used, just sitting there -- significantly reduces your cognitive abilities.

Smartphones don't cause depression or anxiety. Overuse of social media -- including the use of social media to communicate in lieu of in-person contact - may contribute to it. Heavy use may be problematic.

But you advocate throwing out the baby with the bathwater, and raising children who are not media savvy, which is even worse.

chestnut

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:07 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

This is why schools ban smartphone entirely.
It's a distraction and it's totally unnecessary/

While you can look at it this way (just as many other things in life are "unnecessary"), this is where we disagree. Close to 100% of them will have it once graduate and, as we see, 25-75% have them in HS, regardless of policies.

LovesHashem

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:50 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

I don't really have the links to those studies handy. I read them a while ago and can't seem to pull them up. I do know from my experience I have found the technology very addictive and that's not a secret. Whatsapp IS social media so if you are advocating a smartphone with no Whatsapp too, then sure; I guess it's not too terrible.

Why should kids be "media savvy?" I grew up with technology. I had the first ipod touch when it came out and the first smartphone too. I had technology at my fingertips for most of my life with no rules or regulations. I learned to regulate myself and read lots on it, but at the end of the day people are getting paid millions of dollars to think how to keep you on an app for another millisecond and I just am so sick of fighting this natural addiction.

LovesHashem

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:53 pm

chestnut wrote:

I can't really talk about the USA since I don't live there. In Israel the numbers are more like 0-40 percent will have it depending on the school.

I still don't think it's necessary. There's non-jewish atheist teen throwing away their smartphones too. Shawn Mendes a famous singer doesn't own a smartphone either.

singleagain

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:54 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

Why should kids be "media savvy?"

Like it or not, media is becoming more and more part of life. Computers are taking over I in all aspects of life. Ever seen a self check out machine? Banking app? Pay with your phone? Auto pay? Bio scanner? Smart boards? Cars with cameras and maps built in? Public transportation? Not to mention many jobs require some computer skills.

Can't stop the world. And unless you're going to nice to an island, your home need to figure it out.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:54 pm

Forgive me for not reading the whole thread.
OP, my understanding is that your school doesn't want kids to have those phones b'chlal. So theoretically, things like forming study groups, or information for practices, etc. shouldn't be coming through the smart phone but should be available to everyone. If your daughter's school life is being compromised by your sticking to the rules, you have a problem. I still wouldn't bring myself to get the phone but I would speak to someone in the school whom I really trusted.

I wish you hatzlacha!

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 3:34 pm

Not commenting on whether or not I disagree, but all my sisters just had their regular smartphone and simply did not bring it to school or tell the school about it. They got away with it.

(I didn't get a phone until 12th grade, and smartphones became a thing after I graduated.)

chestnut

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 7:09 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Not sure what you mean by her school life being compromised by sticking to the rules. School info won't be disseminated through whatsapp and kids' emails cause they aren't supposed to have those. If the school needs to get in touch with parents, there's an email.

amother

Teal

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 7:34 pm

My sister in lkwd yeshivish school has an ipod touch as well as many other friends together with a flip phone. There is also now a feature where the same number can be connected to your smart phone and flip phone, TAG can do it for you. That seems crazy for any teen. Its expensive and so unnecessary...

amother

Blonde

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 7:36 pm

Op to answer your question but for my BY daughters.
My older daughter only had flip phone. Only starting in 12th grade as per schools rule.
My next girls dont have phones yet, and are not asking. I imagine they’ll ask in 12th grade when the school allows.
So yes, we follow the rules as they conform with my own hashkafos as I wouldn’t want my kids to have smart phones. B”h they don’t want them either.
Btw, they’re regular, normal, fun, healthy kids.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 10:26 pm

Yes its common but certainly not everyone. I wouldnt want to infantalize til ***poof*** go get married. Self control better learned "as a child" than with a spouse.

But I would never approve of this as a gimmick to bend school rules, it teaches shakrunus. Using mom or dads old phone in the summer or to use wifi at night, ok. But they get one phone.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 8:49 am

chestnut wrote:

Yeah, but are there enough kids with second phones that they're doing this? I would like to think not. And if there were I still wouldn't get my kid the phone.