We go on vacations and have a tuition break

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 3:51 pm

So we choose to send to a school we’re tuition is about $1,000 a month. When asking for a tuition break we listed our middle class income with all of our expenses and vacations. We also stated that we were comfortable paying $730 a month. The tuition board approved our $730. Am I supposed to feel bad that technically I could pay the $1000, but be very budgeted elsewhere?

amother

Babypink

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 3:57 pm

Lol. This is imamother, so you will be torn to shreds for even entertaining the thought that it's ok. I say, let the tuition committee make its decisions, and if you feel you should be a part of those decisions, get on the committee.

amother

Jade

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:03 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Anyone wanna make a bet that this thread will jump to 15 pages by tomorrow morning?!?! LOL

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:15 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

OP, why do you think it's important to start such a thread and for us all to know this information?
Bh this arrangement could be worked out for your family, but don't flaunt it.

you’re absolutely right ...I don’t discuss it with anyone in real life but wanted to get other take on this. Also my vacations equal up to $3/4k yearly if that makes a difference.

amother

Brown

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:17 pm

Why do you want to hear our opinions on this if it is what it is??? Will you change your mind based on our opinions?? You're not in a dilemma here, you're just stating a fact. No point.
Just as a btw, most people that get a tuition break don't spent 4k a year on vacations, (at least not in my community), but that's non of my business.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you laid it all out on the table and didn't hide anything & they accepted it, then what's to feel bad about?

simcha2

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:21 pm

I'll bite.

I think you have to do what's right for your family. I also think that you have to recognize that someone out there is subsidizing (ie, paying for) the tuition you are choosing not to pay. And that person may not be going on vacation in order to do so. If you're comfortable with that equation, good for you. But don't expect everyone else to be comfortable with it.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:24 pm

simcha2 wrote:

Or, the school tuition is actually inflated and op is paying what it costs to educate her own kids. She's not subsidizing others.

agreer

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:25 pm

This is my take on tuition and discounts:

Tuition is artificially high because the school knows many families can't pay it entirely.
If you pay full tuition, you are subsidizing those who cannot.
If you get a discount, you are probably paying a much fairer share of tuition for YOU and subsidizing fewer families.
Take your discount and run.

NEVER let anyone make you feel bad that you got a discount. You were being overcharged initially.

agreer

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:26 pm

simcha2 wrote:

I disagree (our posts may have crossed).

With her discount, she is likely subsidizing fewer people.

simcha2

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:29 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Or, the school tuition is actually inflated and op is paying what it costs to educate her own kids. She's not subsidizing others.

She doesn't get to decide that.

Assuming that the actual cost is $8000, but they charge $12,000 to cover those not able to pay full tuition, if you are able to pay the $12,000 but don't, someone else is paying even more.

Either way, by choosing (not can't) to not pay full tuition you are placing more of the burden on others.

Personally even when things were very tight I never wanted to be that person. If you're comfortable making others pay more. Good for you. But be honest. Someone else is paying for her vacation.

watergirl

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:29 pm

We get tuition assistance. We have to give the school our W2 and answer all of the questions they ask, such as if we go on any trips and/or vacations, and if yes, to where. I would assume all schools ask these questions. If you tell them that you spend 3-4k on vacations every year and they are ok with it, then there is your answer. If you lie and omit that info, thats also an answer. If they don't ask at all, they must not care and have the funding to provide tuition assistance willy-nilly anyways so the concern of financial management would bother me as a parent.

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:34 pm

simcha2 wrote:

This is where my post originated is someone subsidizing my tuition if our school is a standard Bais Yaakov with above average tuition then what our community is used to. Yes I choose to spend this $4k on vacations rather then jewelry, sheitels, clothing, home improvement .......that other may deem non luxurys (besides jewelry obviously).

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:38 pm

agreer wrote:

That's almost certainly not true. In fact, it is far more likely that even full tuition doesn't cover the cost of education, and that every child depends upon donations and fundraising to some extent. That said, however, the more that those who could afford, with some belt tightening, receive, the less that is available for those with even greater need. So its still taking away funding from those less fortunate.

Tuition of $1000 per month, 10 months, 20 kids per class = $240,000 per class. Factor in 2 teachers and 2 assistant teachers, books, desks, other equipment, cleaning staff, administrators, heat, insurance, repairs, and whatever else ... that doesn't sound like nearly enough.

No one should be forced to live in poverty to afford tuition. No one should be forced to forego all vacations and all fun.

That said, no one should be taking lavish vacations while accepting assistance.

I'll leave it to others to figure out where OP is on that spectrum.

simcha2

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

As I've written many times on imamother I think spending on expensive sheitals, clothing etc. is not tznius. And I think if someone is not prioritizing their obligations (rent, tuition, food etc.) they are doing so on someone else's dime.

When we were struggling we didn't have cleaning help, take out etc. until we were able to cover our other bills (including tuition and shul bill) first. Because taking a reduction is the same as someone else paying for you.

I'm sure others in similar financial situations as us, took the reduction and spent the difference in discretionary items. Good for them. I never wanted to live off of someone else.

If you're comfortable no need to ask for others to support you. But know, that someone else is paying for your vacation.