Dear Principal-Unsent Letter

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:15 pm

Dear Mrs. X,

I have enclosed the post-in note addressed to __ that you inadvertely attached to my daughter's report card.

I am pleased that you took the time out of your busy schedule to compliment and praise ____for her smarts, pleasant personality, and hard work.

May I respectfully suggest that in the future you take some additional time to add a note with a positive word or two the non-A students as well?

Can you possibly find it in your heart to pen a few good words to these girls who have a yiddishe neshama and are valuable and precious regardless of their imperfect report cards?

Can you recognize that the girls who are academically challenged surely have other positive qualities that are noteworthy such as sterling middos, Ahavas Yisrael, Simchas HaChaim etc...?

Thank you

amother

Pearl

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Dear Mrs. OP,

Thank you for raising awareness and I appreciate your input, very much so. I do however want to make you aware that the note was meant to boost the spirits of a young girl who is going through a tough time. I also included a note to another young girl who put in extraordinary amount of effort to pull herself together this year and score these high marks. I wish I would have the opportunity to place a personal note for every single student of mine, but alas, there are time constraints that unfortunately don't allow me to do that.

But OP, you're a wonderful parent. And parents possess the unique ability to praise their daughters every single day. They possess the ability to bolster their confidence, self-esteem and make them proud to be who they are. You can make her feel valuable, like no one else can. You can make her feel that she is the most precious thing on earth. Grab the opportunities with both hands, and praise her, love her and tell her how proud you are of her. Don't wait and rely on others to help you out with this. Of course, if you feel that an extra input from me will help you in any way, by all means reach out to me and I'll be happy to oblige.

Kind regards,
Mrs. X

amother

Bisque

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 4:41 pm

Dear every principal my daughter ever had,

Thank you for taking the time to praise her midos and support her in her academic struggles. Thank you for all your support in making her a secure girl that never internalized her school failures.

Since you all have been so wonderful to my daughter, I am sure your positivity was given to all the other deserving girls.

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 8:52 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

Your daughter's post-it must have been attached to someone else's report card. I'm terribly embarrassed by the mix-up.

Hugs and Kisses,

The Administration

I wish.
This is not my daughter’s first year in this HS.
She’s never gotten a personal remark from the principal on her report card.

And this school gives not so subtle messages that they place great emphasis on academic achievement.
They only value the “top students”.
I will be mailing back the post-it note anonymously to the school so that the intended recipient can get it.
I’m not anticipating any post-it notes in return.

nchr

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 8:58 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Maybe the other kid had a hard time and needed some encouragement? Why are you being petty? Not everyone needs to get notes - if you want your daughter to be singled out and different, go ahead and call the school, say she is struggling, needs a boost, etc. But I'd be happy that BH it appears like my daughter is doing well enough that the teachers don't need to spoon feed her attention and notes. This is high school, not elementary school. Notes would be a concern for me at that age.

thunderstorm

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, but the schools that would have been a better fit rejected her and this school took her in as a “favor” to the elementary school principal.

I can understand your feelings. You felt rejected by other schools. Then this school would have or implied they would have rejected you without her elementary schools involvement and pleading. It makes you feel like a second class citizen in the school. Now to top it all off it appears that they reach out and do special things for other students and you feel like your daughter was put on the back burner again. I understand. I’ve felt those feelings. But I have recently begun to work on myself and realize that it’s my own insecurities and feelings of rejection that are amplifying the situation and really those that we feel rejected by are not out to get us or do harm to us. They don’t know our pain and sensitivity. They think of us the same way they think of others. We just feel that they single us out and reject us...it’s our own feelings and not the reality.

amother

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:12 am

nchr wrote:

If this were your daughter who is a struggling student who was unwanted by the mainstream BY’s and is in a school as a “favor” to someone else you would feel the same way.

Your comment is insensitive.
If you can’t feel any compassion or empathy kindly move to another thread and do not comment here.
Thank you

nchr

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

HUH? I was trying to make you feel better by pointing out that your child is probably struggling much less than the child who needed to get a note....

amother

Brown

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:35 am

I am really sorry that happened.
I'm sure it really stung.
I hope your child didn't know about it.
its tough when your child is struggling, given your post though id say Id pick and choose my battles as sounds like you know.
we looked elsewhere for that type of validation and boost -- we sought out certain of her teachers to speak with, found mentors young adults like seminary age and a bit older under the guise of tutors, youth groups, and other places our daughter could shine and blossom, extra curricular, erev shira, chesed, shul we encouraged mentor relationship with the rebbetzin, camp counselors and the like, and of course at home and with family.
btdt and have a child who has turned out to be a truly outstanding young adult B"H.
wishing you happiness

amother

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:44 am

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

No, bh she was in camp when it arrived in the mail.
Like I said I will be mailing it to the school anonymously.
I was only venting here.
But no.
I cannot find it in me to be dlkz and assume this particular girl needed an encouraging note.
Knowing the school this is probably a girl who shines academically.
I’m happy she got the note.
I have no resentment.
I feel pain for my daughter and the poor students who will never receive these personal notes or made to feel wanted and worthy of being in that school.

amother

Natural

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:48 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is it possible your daughter is not in the right school? Why is your daughter, who it seems is a wonderful girl who struggles academically, in a school that puts tremendous emphasis on academic achievement?

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:51 am

I think most people have average kids so they don't know how hard it is to deal with principals, teachers when there are real issues. They don't realize how unhelpful most principals and teachers are. Most principals don't give a **** about your kid they only care about the girls who fit their agenda to care about.
I know there are going to be those of you who will say it's not true... just wait until you have an issue with one of your kids and need help, you'll see then.

amother

Green

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 10:01 am

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

when you wrote "unsent letter" I thought you were not going to send it.

truthfully I would err on the side of caution, anonymous is not always so anonymous they may somehow figure the note got to you, maybe alphabetically or some other thing pointing to you. not always such a stretch, things happen.

She's planning on mailing the post-it note back anonymously, not this letter.

singleagain

Tue, Jul 30 2019, 10:05 am

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

This! I don't have kids. But I was the kid that didn't fit the agenda.