Letting your kid have everytis not necessarily good for them

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 7:32 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Agree.
I am married to someone who was given everything and I see the severe disadvantages.

I think a happy medium is best.

That's why I don't give my kids everything. I don't want them to get used to a life style they can't sustain. I tell my kids we're can't afford when we can. I make them earn their own spending money.

I see people foolishly go into debt to keep up with other people foolishly in debt.

amother

Ecru

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 8:24 pm

why would you tell your kids you can't afford when you can?

my children know that I can afford to buy them whatever I want. I also think that spoiling is a form of child abuse so I don't. if I think s/t is good for them I get it if I don't I don't. By not spending on stupidities I can spend on stuff that is more important and put away for them when they are older.

I have no problem saying that something is overpriced or I don't want to spend on that. that's different then saying "we can't afford" when we can.

I believe in honesty. I don't want my kids to grow up and feel lied to.

Right now my kids are on the younger end, not old enough to earn their own money but when they are we hope they will.

Right now my kids get plenty and they are told no plenty.

I'm not worried.

mlc

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 9:02 pm

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

Lying is almost always a bad idea. Across the board.

Furthermore, if a kid grows up thinking they can get whatever they want provided that parents can afford, that’s spoiled too. Because basically you are telling child you would give whatever they want and only time you don’t is if technically no cash for it.

I agree that best is to teach child - we can say no because we don’t need it, or because we would prefer to give money towards different causes . Or because certain things are treats and special to be given as a gift or earned as a prize.