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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
amother
OP
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Mon, Jul 29 2019, 11:52 pm
I'm wondering what other reasons besides pregnancy or nursing would cause a Rav to give a heter not to fast Tisha B'Av- a) this year when it's a nidcheh, and b) in general when it's not a nidcheh.
I'm asking because my mother has an autoimmune disorder. She has fasted TB the last number of years, and is always severely set back the day after. Every few months, she has bouts of vomiting and needs to take off a few days from work. My father is very rigid about fasting and refuses to ask any Rav other than his own, who is very machmir about fasting in general.
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amother
Gray
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Mon, Jul 29 2019, 11:58 pm
According to halacha, a doctor is the one who determines if someone can fast. Have your mother get a doctor's opinion.
It might not be what you want, though. For example, my OB always said that a healthy pregnant woman can fast, just to watch out for signs of dehydration.
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amother
Rose
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 2:13 am
Ehh given past threads on this issue, I doubt anyone's going to discuss their heter for not fasting. They'll just get attacked by a bunch of amothers who will pull their reason apart and make them feel terrible.
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amother
Ruby
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 3:59 am
My husband has diabetes, I don't think he's fasting past Chatzos. Before Yom Kippur he sits with several expert Rabonim, and doctors, and they figure out a plan for him.
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FranticFrummie
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 4:18 am
I take several medications that require food. Specifically, I need a minimum of 350 calories per dose.
I took all of my doctor's info, and gave it to my rabbi. He sent it on to NY, where it was given to several top rabbis who specialize in medical halacha. I got two rulings:
1. Eat and drink normally, don't try to restrict at all.
2. DON'T FEEL GUILTY!
Of course, I'm not going to be eating an ice cream sundae or walking around with a juicy hamburger. I'll eat normal, boring food, and I'll keep it to myself.
A regular rabbi, no matter how learned, cannot give you a proper heter. You need a rabbi who specializes in MEDICAL halacha, who will respect your doctor's advice.
Protecting your health is always more important than fasting. Always.
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dankbar
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 4:20 am
old & frail
diabetes
need to take meds
low blood pressure & tendency to faint with no food
alzheimers maybe
some places pregnant & nursing doesnt fast regardless
If you have any health concerns you should consult a doctor if you can fast & then ask a rov.
with a nidchah rabbanim are more lenient in giving a heter faster.
Some kehillas are stricter with fasting & some more lenient
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Iymnok
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 5:10 am
There are times when it is ASSUR to fast. Telling someone to fast when it could be dangerous could be a very serious issur.
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 6:33 am
I also have autoimmune issues and get severely dehydrated very easily (to the point of vomiting and passing out )in addition to low blood sugar so I only fast Yom Kippur and Tisha Beav (when it's not a nidche) and even then I lie on the couch /bed all day and either get a babysitter or my husband to watch the kids and I break it if I get sick enough for 9 av, for yom Kippur I try to push.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 6:38 am
I have autoimmune issues and it can take me a month to get back to myself. I've been taken in for IV the week after Tisha Bav. My Rav said no more TB fasting. (He said to fast at night until my regular breakfast time.)
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amother
Copper
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 7:47 am
I usually feel suicidal after fast days bec of the lack of food and water and thyroid medication and vitamins. Going to see if I can get a hater.
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amother
Puce
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 7:54 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote: | According to halacha, a doctor is the one who determines if someone can fast. Have your mother get a doctor's opinion.
It might not be what you want, though. For example, my OB always said that a healthy pregnant woman can fast, just to watch out for signs of dehydration. |
I'm not trying to bash anyone, but I've had times when doctors wanted me to eat and rabbonim thought that was ridiculous (it was yk, though which is much more serious). And they were serious rabbonim who knew what they were talking about. I was advised to spend the day in bed and have my husband stay home. So the halacha cant be a blanket statement that doctors decide.
Not bashing anyone who is from a community that is less machmir on fasting or people who really have to eat for medical reasons. Mine clearly wasnt that serious.
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amother
Jetblack
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 8:17 am
FranticFrummie wrote: | I take several medications that require food. Specifically, I need a minimum of 350 calories per dose.
I took all of my doctor's info, and gave it to my rabbi. He sent it on to NY, where it was given to several top rabbis who specialize in medical halacha. I got two rulings:
1. Eat and drink normally, don't try to restrict at all.
2. DON'T FEEL GUILTY!
Of course, I'm not going to be eating an ice cream sundae or walking around with a juicy hamburger. I'll eat normal, boring food, and I'll keep it to myself.
A regular rabbi, no matter how learned, cannot give you a proper heter. You need a rabbi who specializes in MEDICAL halacha, who will respect your doctor's advice.
Protecting your health is always more important than fasting. Always. |
What do you do on Yom Kippur?
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amother
Fuchsia
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 8:25 am
Heart condition I was born with that makes dehydration dangerous.
Never fast on Tisha B'av.
Yom Kippur I lie in bed and drink shiurim (ad per rav and frum talmid chochom doctor). I'm weak as a kitten at the end of the day but alive and healthy.
People are always surprised when I tell them I don't feel great after Yom Kippur. "But you didn't fast?!"
There's a reason shiurim is considered fasting. It's not enough to do much except keep you minimally hydrated which in my case (given my condition) still makes me weak.
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amother
Rose
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 8:55 am
I'm going to put my neck on the line with a very honest answer.
I'm more than likely not going to fast on Tisha Bav. Not because of health reasons or a heter or anything. I've been feeling very depressed lately and am struggling with mitzvot in general. I. Just. Don't. Care. I don't see the point of suffering for something my heart is not in. I feel like a fake but this is my situation. I've stopped doing a lot of stuff. From the small stuff like netilat yadayim in the morning to the bigger issues like keeping shabbat. I'm so miserable with my current life that I don't want to bother with anything anymore.
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amother
Lime
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:27 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I'm wondering what other reasons besides pregnancy or nursing would cause a Rav to give a heter not to fast Tisha B'Av- a) this year when it's a nidcheh, and b) in general when it's not a nidcheh.
I'm asking because my mother has an autoimmune disorder. She has fasted TB the last number of years, and is always severely set back the day after. Every few months, she has bouts of vomiting and needs to take off a few days from work. My father is very rigid about fasting and refuses to ask any Rav other than his own, who is very machmir about fasting in general. |
Perhaps it's time for your mother to ask her own shailah.
I happen to have a teen with an autoimmune condition, and our Rav usually paskens that she fast until chatzos on minor or nidche fasts.
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amother
Lime
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 9:28 am
Also, my sister is B"H a year post chemo, and I don't think she will be fasting on TB (but she hopes to fast on Y"K this year - last year they didn't let her.)
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amother
Crimson
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 10:41 am
Not fasting. I got a heter today. A year ago I had an ulcer and aveilus. I just said I didn’t feel like it was good for me. Its much better to ask than to stress about it.
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aliavi
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 10:44 am
amother [ Rose ] wrote: | I'm going to put my neck on the line with a very honest answer.
I'm more than likely not going to fast on Tisha Bav. Not because of health reasons or a heter or anything. I've been feeling very depressed lately and am struggling with mitzvot in general. I. Just. Don't. Care. I don't see the point of suffering for something my heart is not in. I feel like a fake but this is my situation. I've stopped doing a lot of stuff. From the small stuff like netilat yadayim in the morning to the bigger issues like keeping shabbat. I'm so miserable with my current life that I don't want to bother with anything anymore. |
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Sincere hugs.
Is there is a way for you to speak with someone to help you sort things out and get some relief?
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ShishKabob
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 11:56 am
Please realize that everyone has to ask for their particular situation. No two situations are alike.
And this year is a nidche, very different psak.
you don't necessarily have to be nursing or pregnant or even sick to get a heter not to fast this year.
But you do have to ask.
Bhatzlocha!
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amother
Brown
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Tue, Jul 30 2019, 11:59 am
I haven’t fasted even on Yom Kippur the past few years because of mental health issues. Therapist spoke to Rav.
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