Running out of money - what do you do?

amother

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 4:49 pm

Hi,
We've been having a hard time making ends meet and our savings are starting to get used up. I don't see our income improving for at least another year or so (my husband is taking a course this year that will hopefully get him started on a new career) and we have some big purchases coming up.
We're getting some help from our parents (it's month by month, no guarantee, if they are able to) but even with that it's not enough (and I don't want to rely on that).
I know I'm not the only one in this situation - what do you guys do? Drain all your savings? Ask people or local chessed organizations for loans? I really want to avoid going into debt and do not want to even get started with credit card debt (worst kind). We have good credit so we shouldn't have to rely on that. We have SNAP/Link and the kids are on government insurance and husband's is subsidized.
Any tips on how to best maximize community and government resources, the best/smartest way to go into debt (if absolutely necessary), etc. is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
(p.s. I don't think I can feasibly change our income level right now though I am looking into our options - this post is more about what else to do)

southernbubby

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 7:29 pm

Tziril Miriam wrote:

We would be able to give you more specific info if you tell us what your husband is studying, or what work he will look for in a year.

What are your anticipated major purchases?

Also, how much do you have left in savings? What was this savings originally put aside for?

Do you have a budget? Could you share it with us?

How many children do you have and what is your tuition situation?

Do you own or rent?

Many things are possible, and IMAMOTHER is full of experienced people who can help you. Let us, by giving us basic information.

Best wishes.

There are also loads of threads on here about thrift and frugality as well as loads of other money saving websites. For example, those who need furniture can find lots of it free from college students who are graduating.

amother

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 9:36 pm

Thank you all for your replies. I'm not necessarily looking for tips on how to be more frugal - I learned a lot from my parents on that and like others have said, there's a lot of online resources out there.
I also don't want to post too much information about my specific situation as I don't want to be identified.
In short, though, I do have a budget. I'm expecting my third iyH and have a toddler and a baby. Big expenses are a minivan, possible bris (we're keeping it a surprise), and maternity leave. My husband was out of a job for a few months this year, plus he's only been making minimum wage when he has had a job so that's been setting us back (I also didn't get onto snap till recently even though we qualified earlier).
General expenses are: approx 1500 rent and utilities, 950 childcare, 275 husband health insurance, 60 for cell phones, 1000+ for therapy (this is a big one, it used to be less as more was covered by insurance and just my husband was going - now he switched therapists and we're in marriage therapy too and it's sucking us dry. we're already getting a discount for the marriage therapy through a community organization and it could be that we can submit some of the bills to the insurance but I was told that marriage therapy probably won't be covered and my husband's therapist doesn't accept his insurance (both therapists don't)), food is covered by snap for the most part, 300 for household goods, 80 transportation (includes gas for the one car we have and taxis if my husband has to take), 50-100 for clothes (we get a lot of hand me downs and gifts bH and I've been trying to hold off on buying much for myself), 20 for laundry, etc. There are some more items on the list but nothing too major. I've had to put money out for different health/medical situations and haven't gotten the money back yet but I'm hoping to get most of it back (govt insurance for my baby took a long time to come through, husband had to go to ER and they had him put down 500 till the insurance goes through, larger copays for psychiatrist, etc).
We started the year off with 15k+ in savings, we're down to about 4800 + a stock account that I have to learn more about to properly manage or take the money out if I need it (tops 10k in it). I expected to use savings this year just not this much and now we're probably looking at another year of this at least (husband will tops be able to work part time while taking this program/course). I really don't like not having any parachute, especially for the unexpected items that come up, plus at some point we're going to want to buy a house, etc.
I think if I had something to cover the therapy, or other expenses so that we could have the money for the therapy, we'd be fine. I know I've made the decision that it's worth the long term investment (husband needs something specific, previous therapist wasn't working out even tho cheaper, and marriage therapy was needed and I felt that divorce or the emotional physical toll would be worse/more expensive) but it's still a lot for our income level.
Anyways, thank you for your support. I know I'm better off than some people and I've bH seen Hashem's hand in a bunch of different places (we've received gifts of a few hundred dollars here and there, etc) just thinking about this coming year has been stressing me out as my parachute is running out and we're most probably not going to be making enough to fully cover all our expenses ... hope this all makes sense.
(p.s. I do use disposables and have a cleaning lady a few times a year (may increase that to once a month or once every other month) but I need that to manage. I also know that it's possible for me to make more money if I work full time but I'm not sure I can do that - though I am looking into maybe adding a few more hours a week. I'd like to feel that I'm a mother to my children and I'm going to have 3 under 3 iyH so working out of the house for many hours would be really hard on me and is something I'd like to avoid if I can) (oh, and no worries about birth control I'm planning on getting an IUD after this baby)

amother

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 9:57 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

Sounds hard. One thing in your list stood out to me - the minivan. If you don't have to do carpool, don't get a minivan. Not only will you be buying (leasing?) but your gas and insurance costs will go up as well. Look into getting narrow carseats instead, and you can fit three kids in the back seat.

Thanks. If I thought I could fit three kids in the car I would hold out for a little longer (even though having one car is getting very impractical with our schedules and work locations), but the model car that I have does not have three full seats in the back - it's more like two and half. Already with two car seats it's squishy (no one can sit in the middle of them, the kids can easily reach each other, etc) and I have a narrow car seat already for my toddler. I'm hoping to buy (used obviously), not lease, but I'll be comparing prices and see what's cheapest.

amother

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 10:38 pm

Thanks. I'm looking into applying for WIC - you have to go down to the office (can't apply online) so it's a bigger deal to apply, but we should qualify. I just have to find a time that I'm not at work, the kids can be watched, and within their hours.
Kids are on Medicaid, husband qualified for the marketplace so subsidized and at the point that we applied that's what he qualified for. We were hoping that our financial situation would improve so didn't want to have to keep going back and forth between insurances (like get Medicaid and then have to go off of it). I'm looking into getting him on Medicaid now that it doesn't look like things will improve - I applied, we'll see how it goes.
I just checked - cool site, good reference thanks! but my car is not on the list (guess it's considered a minicar)

smarty skirt

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 10:47 pm

For me running out of money is always there, most people live paycheck to paycheck so it is just a question of degrees. What concerns me is that you say you don't need more advice to be more frugal. This is CRUCIAL to staying in budget. The fact is that some of your spending is beyond your means. There is no reason to spend all that money on therapy if you can get it through medicaid , there is no reason to spend on insurance each month if you get it on medicaid, yes WIC for you while pregnant and WIC for each child and medicaid for everyone. Cleaning lady, new car.......NOT for us.....Big purchases.....why stress yourself expecting to do everything this year????Why not make a 5 year financial plan to make yourself feel better knowing certain things are TEMPORARY? There are vouchers by govt for day care if working part time etc.....we cook practically everything from scratch. There is nothing wrong with using a cc to pay for food if you pay it off each month because we earn extra money for food w it.

amother

Wed, Jul 31 2019, 11:26 pm

You're right that I should take a longer term view of the situation, that this should be temporary and living paycheck to paycheck is ok.
However, you are making some generalizations here without knowing the specific details (I know, I didn't provide them, but still no need to jump on things like that).
Therapy: we checked what therapists are covered by my husband's insurance. There weren't that many, most were female (something he isn't comfortable with), most had arabic/indian names and were not close at all, and the few that looked like possibilities were booked solid (safe to assume that most if not all of them were full). If he gets on Medicaid, we'll try again. He's tried a few different therapists and it's not worth the time and money to pay for something that doesn't work. Cost isn't the only factor - qualifications, personality, skills, etc play a big part. BH this therapist is working out for him and we're seeing progress, which to me is most important. Marriage therapy - again, most were female, we were advised not to expect the insurance to pay for it so we went for someone we were comfortable with, has good qualifications and has a deal with a community based organization to offset some of the cost.
New car: I really don't have a choice. I can't fit three car seats in my current car and I'm expecting my third. This is just something that will have to happen.
Cleaning lady: I've literally had the cleaning lady come maybe three times this year (and my MIL was generous enough to help pay for it). I was thinking about increasing it because I haven't had the energy to clean up but haven't yet because of money.
I do use credit cards - like you said, you get the rewards and many introductory deals give you a few hundred for signing up and spending a certain amount during a specific time period and it's a great way to get a little extra money. What I don't want to do is to use the credit cards as the answer for when there isn't enough money to cover things - it's important to me to be able to pay off my credit cards every month (if you look at the rates it's cheaper to take a loan from a bank than a loan from credit cards).
Either way, I'm sure there are ways that I can cut some corners, though it would be very hard for me, but what I meant was that the purpose of this post was not for ways to cut corners (there are a lot of posts like that already and lots of blogs and websites etc) but to get a better idea of what other people do when they get stuck so that I can make sure I've gotten everything (and also so that I know what to expect). Things along the lines of different government programs, different community organizations to check out, ways of using credit cards in a safe/smart way (something with the 0% apr and balance transfers), if they ask for or take out loans, etc. This post was also for general support/vent.

amother

Linen

Thu, Aug 01 2019, 12:30 am

because I don't expect u to explain everything here, I have to make the best generalizations for time constraints etc....you can definitely find a male therapist that would be appropriate on medicaid I feel to help your husband to cope etc..you can check the jewish organizations in your area also and ask them if they take medicaid. Again, creating a budget, listing fixed expenses you can't change etc....and lowering EVERYTHING you can think of.....and again a five year written plan to remind yourself of the bigger picture. As far as a car, this is how I save, I look at the yearly consumer reports at the library on cars which show the problem areas of diff cars for safety etc....I pick out the car, the year, has to be a good year in the manufacture of etc....I buy it USED. Normally NOT from a dealer. I drive it to a mechanic and EVERYTHING that mechanic says I take it OFF the price. Make sure not in substantial accident, that they changed the oil regularly etc....can ask to see the repair records. This way you save on car insurance too. A car can be high in miles, like people, it is HOW you take care of it that means more! A car will cost you 500 dollars a year like to properly maintain it! If you can't afford to maintain it, it won't be safe. A new car will cost alot in insurance. Or.....folding loop bike for a skirt with kiddie trailer etc.... to get around town costs less, great exersize, LONG skirt etc. or sell car and take a taxi or rent a car periodically when needed TEMPORARILY if you must need one. You have to figure what is MOST important to you, what your priorities are and realistically what you give up to have the lifestyle that you want with your kids.