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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Interesting Discussion, Generations..
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 8:15 am
I found it interesting that when my son made his bed one morning he told me, "Mommy, I made the blankets neat"
He didn't know the phrase- make your bed- because I don't even request that from my kids.
However, interpersonal etiquette? That we are makpid on.
We just taught our 5 year old how to hold a fork properly after being at a bar mitzvah and watching the boys hold their silverware "like a farmer" (as my father used to say.)
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Amalia




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 8:24 am
Zehava wrote:
That’s a really good thing! And there will always be those oblivious ones who will continue making stupid comments at shiva houses and ask intrusive questions. But we as a society have become more sensitive and aware. And that is way more important than arbitrary “manners”.


But (the most basic and the most important) manners are not arbitrary!

And it says, ״דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה״.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 8:49 am
I'm in my fifties. From what I can see, young people are more sensitive to social issues than older people. They don't hint about how it's time to hear "good news" of whatever kind. On the other hand, I see a lot of younger folks speaking up without waiting to let older adults offer their opinions. They seem to assume that they know best. Bear in mind that every generation thinks that the one after it has no manners.

Speaking for myself, I cringe at "Aunt Imamother." I don't need my nieces and nephews calling me by anything but my name.

Generally I find that the less insulated the community, the more polite. In the case of some rude behaviors, I really think the perpetrators have no idea that they are doing something wrong. Like speaking about someone in another language. (Just because I don't look like you doesn't mean I don't understand Yiddish.) Or the full-on, open-mouthed stare. Not just children, but grown women. What is that about?
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 10:15 am
I find kids today are SO chutzpadig. As a kid, if an adult saw me doing something I shouldnt do, and they told me off, I would be all shy and back off. I've heard kids today say things like "youre not my father I dont need to listen to you" right back to his face!
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 10:27 am
This problem goes back 50 generations more or less. The ancient Greeks complained about the younger generation's manners.

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 11:22 am
Squishy wrote:
This problem goes back 50 generations more or less. The ancient Greeks complained about the younger generation's manners.

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."


I love this quote. Plus ca change, plus ce level meme chose. People have always been people.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 11:42 am
rosezee wrote:
People ask who are unrelated to you even?
Not that relatives are ok saying those things but I personally get comments from my own relatives like that.. idk why anyone thinks those are normal Qs to ask! 😡


Yup! Ladies at shul, my non Jewish neighbor, my father’s coworker, etc... I agree it’s mind boggling
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 11:47 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
We're so "PC" now that we're trained not to ask anything personal, or make any personal comments. Its a new way of being.

I remember being warned that people would want to touch my pregnant belly. Nobody did. I actually asked friends to feel. I wanted the connection.


I do think that social media has changed us a lot.


I can’t tell if you think this is good or bad. Personally, I don’t think it’s right to touch anyone without their permission, whether the person is pregnant or not. I think there’s a big difference between asking someone how they are doing and truly caring and asking and asking someone why they don’t have kids already? In fact in the second scenario the person asking probably doesn’t actually care about what’s in the best interest of the person they are speaking with
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Thu, Aug 01 2019, 11:58 am
I was in an airport with a camp head counselor, great girl. She graciously helped an elderly couple in to the elevator, held the door, and then with a big smile asked, "What floor would you guys like?"

I would bet that the couple found her manners beautiful, despite the "you guys" Smile
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