S/o why do men teach in girls' schools at all?

FranticFrummie

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 4:00 am

I really don't understand how people are so upset that a man is shadchan in this thread https://www.imamother.com/foru.....67732 and yet totally fine with having male teachers for girls in this thread.

So which one is it? Are men trustworthy or not? We've all seen in the past that being "older and more settled" does not prevent men from being inappropriate (or worse).

amother

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 4:51 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I find the male teacher worse than the male shadchan, personally.

The male shadchan is usually communicating primarily over the phone. The male teacher is in person all the time.

amother

Wheat

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 5:07 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

So which one is it? Are men trustworthy or not? We've all seen in the past that being "older and more settled" does not prevent men from being inappropriate (or worse).

The concern of predatory behavior is not the same as the concern of a husband straying.

amother

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 5:15 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

The concern of predatory behavior is not the same as the concern of a husband straying.

Which one is more or less likely? The husband who is interacting with girls/women mostly over the phone? Or the man who is standing in front of a room of 30 girls every day?

chocolate fondue

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 5:48 am

I went to a chabad seminary.

We had a lot of male teachers ; some were amazing and a couple were just meh. I'm still not sure why they were teaching.

One Rabbi who taught us halacha was an actual rav hamachshir, shochet and community rav. He obviously really knew his stuff and he was a good teacher too. He would start off showing us the source of the halacha in the Gemara and then show us his that is developed into the actual halacha. It really helped me remember why the halacha worked the way it did. He brought a whole cow's lung into class to show us what makes a cow treif. A woman teacher is just never going to know halacha on the same level and even if she did, she still can't actually pasken.

We had a male teacher who taught the Rebbe's explanations on aggadata. Each topic was based on a range of the Rebbe's talks. I don't think a women would even have time for so much study and preparation. The same for our Tanya and Maamer teachers.

On the other hand, the women teachers made us do a lot more thinking and working it out ourselves whereas the men just gave us lectures. I think we benefited from both.

Then, of course, there is the obvious : our shana Alef chumash teacher left early because she had a baby and our shana bet Chumash teacher was amazing, but she hadn't been available the year before because she had been on bed rest for half the year... And our Methodica teacher was away for two weeks because she was making a chasuna... Men are just more available than women.

amother

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 10:03 am

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

OP, you wrote about a certain "jokey" teacher. Did you ever report him to the ombudsman at your school?

I don't think he was deliberately inappropriate in any way. He did not give off that vibe. He was jokey in the sense that he just had a funny personality. However, the girls had serious crushes on him, and they'd flirt. I don't think he even noticed, since he never continued it... he'd just go on telling funny stories and generally making everyone laugh.

However, there was one teacher in my school at the time (Rebbetzin Jacobovits, now principal of Chemdas and previously principal of Nachlas) who objected very strongly to this teacher. He never taught in a place where she was/is principal.

I didn't report it to my principal, but in hindsight, maybe I should have. He was a great teacher and I looked forward to his classes. I still found some of the constant laughter inappropriate. I had other male teachers who were funny, but in a "I told a joke, let's move on" kind of way. His class was more a constant stream of laughter, even though I really don't think he meant any harm by it (though I could be wrong).

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 11:27 am

chocolate fondue wrote:

A woman teacher is just never going to know halacha on the same level and even if she did, she still can't actually pasken.

Why is a woman "just never going to know halacha on the same level"?? There are plenty of woman doing high level halacha study. And, I hate to break it to you but but 99 percent of what rabbis do is just access known halacha. There's very little independent psak going on in the world.

Your whole post reeks of internalized misogyny. I'm sorry to hear that that you think women are stupid and unreliable. Maybe it's all those male teachers you had.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 11:30 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Which one is more or less likely? The husband who is interacting with girls/women mostly over the phone? Or the man who is standing in front of a room of 30 girls every day?

One is the concern of the wife, the other is (hopefully) just a bad thought for the ex-wife.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 11:49 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

There are some women who are excellent halacha teachers, as well as poskim who are excellent teachers. My daughters' school has both.