R' Yosef Shidler's thoughts about Lakewood. From the heart.

amother

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 11:46 am

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

Let's try to leave Shidler out of this, and focus on the hundreds of others who have had a problem getting kids into schools in Lakewood.

MalkyG

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 12:04 pm

It seems Ateres Tziporah had a lot of issues, besides finances.
I always wonder how the "less yeshivish" people in Jackson and Toms River get their kids into schools.

Flip Flops

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 12:38 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

This is that guy?? I didn't realize. That changes everything. Anyone who is familiar with what happened knows that the vaad was more than willing to work with him - he was the one who didn't want to comply with the schools rules. Please don't take what he says at face value. There is a lot more to his story.

asmileaday

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 12:48 pm

giselle wrote:

I would pay off the developers to stop building more houses. Or perhaps the government to stop allowing this.

Sorry, this just sounds so wrong and selfish.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 12:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let's try to leave Shidler out of this, and focus on the hundreds of others who have had a problem getting kids into schools in Lakewood.

You're the one who brought him in.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 1:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let's try to leave Shidler out of this, and focus on the hundreds of others who have had a problem getting kids into schools in Lakewood.

The problem is as was stated hundreds of time - people try and get into schools they dont belong in or schools that dont have space. If u apply to a school where u fit in and a school that has space you will have no issue as I myself have experienced this year getting my daughter into nachlas. Yes many years there is very little space, then the vaad takes responsibility for placing a child or a new school opens up in August....
Not THAT complicated ...

Notsobusy

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 1:18 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let's try to leave Shidler out of this, and focus on the hundreds of others who have had a problem getting kids into schools in Lakewood.

Without discussing his article it is a COMPLETELY different conversation. You can't quote a highly contentious article that has a lot of non-truths in it, and is openly bashing people who do a lot of good for the community (although I realize that a lot of people have issues with them), from a newcomer who hasn't been here long enough to know what's going on, and then say "let's leave him out of it".

But if you want to leave him out of it, here's my view on the subject:

Lakewood has a huge problem where the town is growing much too quickly and the schools can't keep up. We already had this problem before it became a fad for people from Brooklyn to move here. There are so many schools opening in the last few years but the demand still exceeds the supply.

Along with that comes other issues, there are the schools/principals who enjoy being exclusive, but I do believe they are the minority. There are the school administrators who are willing to sell a seat to the highest bidder, again I believe they are the minority. There is definitely a culture of which school is "best", and there are people who live here who believe that they need the "best" school, and that if they get into the "best" school then that proves that they are the "best". Again, those are the minority.

For most people it's just a very sad consequence of a town growing quicker that it can handle. It would be incredible if someone could come up with a solution, but so far every solution I've heard sounds too much like socialism and most people would be happy with it.

Most people think Lakewood needs more schools like Ateres Tziporah, not less. And if it's the vaad controlling them, why didn't they close them down long before this? What changed that made them decide this year is the year to shut them down?

amother

Black

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 1:43 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

I remember this guy from last year. He wrote a whole letter saying he couldn't get in anywhere because he was chabad and then had a little line thrown in about how he was a photographer and had inappropriate wedding pictures on instagram and the schools were afraid of that. I also don't like how he praises R' Aharon and then puts in the same sentence that the lubavitcher accepted everybody. How can he go on an online "yeshivish" forum and bash R' Aharon like that? It sounds so wrong.
As far as Lakewood schools go, I think the problem is that every school is essentially the same school so of course they end up getting ranked as best -to- worst and who wants to send to the worst? If someone would come up with a new model for a high school that would interest parents, then it wouldn't necessarily have to only attract the girls who couldn't get in anywhere.
For example, a school where the girls focus on having a marketable skill by the time they finish high school. In 9th grade they would have electives such as computer skills/programming/bookkeeping or shaitels, party planning, decorating, baking etc. Electives would be divided into 4 categories with each girl required to choose one from each category. By 10th grade, the girls would whittle their electives down to two choices, and begin more intensive training. In 11th grade the school would make arrangements with local vendors for the girls to train one day a week in a work setting. The parents would not have to pay for this because the girls already received basic training and can work capably. It would be a win-win. By 12th grade, the girls can technically be working 3 days a week, half day with their earnings going to offset their tuition. Seminary would be totally optional in such a case because a lot of girls would simply choose to go to work full time in their field in which they have already trained.
I think a school like that, which is so noticeably different from other schools would attract a lot of parents and girls from all across the spectrum of "chumras" and would open the door to the idea that each school should have something specific to attract their clientele instead of just better schools and worse schools.

Umm no. Why would we want our girls to go to work at such a young age?? Can't they enjoy highschool without the pressures of a job/career.

Notsobusy

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 1:53 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

Umm no. Why would we want our girls to go to work at such a young age?? Can't they enjoy highschool without the pressures of a job/career.

There are a lot of girls who hate high school and can't wait to get out. I can think of a few girls who would love such a school.

amother

Pink

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 1:56 pm

Would they get a high school diploma? A lot of jobs are closed to people without one.

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 2:14 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

I love your vision for a highschool that promotes marketable skills for girls along with academic education. Such a curriculum could replace time spent on entertainment skills (G.O., production, Rosh Chodesh, etc), which are also very useful, but don't always reach every girl if the school is large. I really love this idea, teens need outlets for their passions and growing Independence....

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 2:19 pm

Separate thing, but I was recently thinking about such a high school arrangement to help frum parents pay for wedding-related expenses. I'm all for education (I did attend college), but recalling my HS years, I can't help but think that maybe I could've used those years (or a portion of them) for more practical purposes? Don't see why 2-3 hours daily can't be devoted to vocational training and working (for enjoyable positions such as graphic design).

Can possibly be done within the school environment.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 2:30 pm

asmileaday wrote:

Sorry, this just sounds so wrong and selfish.

Giselle is right.

1) Let's discuss traffic. Every main artery in Lakewood, is massively clogged up. It takes forever to go from one side of town to another. Yet, the developers & the town are not taking that into consideration
Take this article for example- https://greaterlakewood.com/up.....nest/

They are requesting permission to build 151 apartments which means at least 150-250 cars trying to pull out onto a section of Route 88 which already has an insane amount of traffic.

2) It's quite obvious that the schools can't handle the influx of kids coming in each year. Putting aside "politics" for a minute, schools don't have the space for the newcomers. Every family that moves here have kids that need to be placed in a school.

So, in what way is she wrong or selfish?

naturalmom5

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 4:35 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

No I happen to know she wasn't.

So are you saying that only the very frum and the very wealthy are able to find slots in schools?

Because off the top of my head, I can't think of too many families like that.... according to you, only a small percentage of Lakewood kids should be able to find schools...

Of course eventually the vaad or a caring Rov will stuff you in somewhere

With big money you can get in ANYWHERE

And there is nothing wrong with that
Schools need money to stay afloat
It's naive to think otherwise

chestnut

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 5:38 pm

1. This article must be read together with his first one, that was linked in the other thread, about this school's closing

2. After reading the comments, I know everything there's to know about our communities (I'm willing to bet those aren't folks from small oot places) and it's SCARY

amother

Cerise

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 5:58 pm

chestnut wrote:

Agreed. I was on the same side as all the other posters here until I read the other article and letter you referenced. Things aren't as simple as those are making it out to be.

This is from Greater Lakewood:
GL confirmed via MULTIPLE SOURCES, the VAAD wanted Ateres Tzipora closed. Mr X caved to pressure from the VAAD. But they are the ones behind the drama. #SAD

PLEASE READ HIS FIRST LETTER BELOW:

By: Yosef Shidler

It was last year Tisha B’Av that my life went, literally, nuts.

It was just a few weeks before the start of the 2018 school year and my daughter, who was five years old at the time, still didn’t have a placement for the upcoming year. I wrote a stormy letter sharing our story which went viral and after being seen by tens of thousands of people, my wife and I got a call from a warm and loving school called Ateres Tziporah, telling us that they would welcome our daughter with open arms.

It should have been smooth sailing from there on in, but it wasn’t. Two weeks later, we found out that the school was having insurmountable financial issues and was closing down. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t give up easily and, with the permission of Ateres Tziporah’s wonderful menaheles, Mrs. Insel, I launched a crowdfunding campaign. Drawing on my skills as a videographer I put together a beautiful video, showing the world what Ateres Tziporah was all about, a wonderful place that was committed to accepting every girl, something that doesn’t exist anywhere else in Lakewood. The video referenced the now-famous speech given years ago by Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz, talking about the importance of accepting every child into school, and we were stunned when Reb Rechnitz reached out to us and helped us with an extremely significant donation, something that became known at Ateres Tziporah as “the Rechnitz bailout.”

A school board was appointed and one individual, let’s call him Mr. X., was named to be responsible for Ateres Tziporah’s finances. At the time, all seemed good. My life was finally settling down, other than an anonymous phone call that I had gotten from an older sounding gentleman suggesting that I leave Lakewood and move back to Crown Heights. I actually found it funny and shared a copy of the call with a few friends and it made the rounds on WhatsApp, with numerous people identifying the caller as a well known member of the Lakewood Vaad. A short time later I was called into the office and Mr. X. asked me to sign a document saying that I would not speak out publicly about Ateres Tziporah or the Lakewood Vaad, the implication strongly made that my daughter wouldn’t be showing up in her uniform on the first day of school if I refused. To be honest, I had no problem signing the letter, although the bit about the Vaad was really odd, but my daughter had a school to call her own as did 170 other girls and I had never intended to put myself in the spotlight. There were one or two occasions during the year when I did speak up on behalf of a few parents whose daughters needed schools and most of those girls did end up at Ateres Tziporah – other than that, I kept to my end of the bargain and was happy to just go back to my life, my family and my business.

Baruch Hashem, my daughter blossomed at Ateres Tziporah, an incredible place that truly understands what chinuch habanos is all about. Over the course of the year, my wife and I both kept in touch with Mrs. Insel, volunteering our services countless times for fundraising projects to help the school stay in the black. Mrs. Insel told me that as far as she knew everything was going well and similar offers to Mr. X. also yielded no results. There was one fundraiser that was launched during the year that stalled within a week – other than that we saw no fundraisers at all, but our daughter came home beaming every day and we were thrilled to be Ateres Tzipora parents.

And then about two weeks ago, the rumors started. We heard that the school had been having financial difficulties that absolutely no one knew about and that the staff and Mrs. Insel hadn’t been paid in months. It took time to figure out what was going on and a few days ago I got a text telling me that the school was in serious trouble. I reached out to Mrs. Insel for more information and what happened next is almost too bizarre to believe.

Unbeknownst to anyone, it turns out that by mid-winter, every single member of the board had resigned, claiming that Mr. X. refused to listen to anyone else’s input or consider any opinions other than his own. Mr. X’s was the only signature on the school’s bank accounts, something that was improper and quite possibly illegal, given Ateres Tziporah’s designation as a 501(c)(3). While Mrs. Insel, a dedicated mechaneches with decades of experience had made it clear that she did not want to be involved in the school’s monetary issues, Mr. X. refused to share any information about the school’s finances with anyone, including Mrs. Insel. One individual that Mr. X. had been calling every week without fail to discuss the school’s finances suddenly found that Mr. X. refused to talk to him at winter’s end, failing to return calls, texts or emails. The individual took it as a positive sign that Ateres Tziporah’s finances were under control. Little did he know just how wrong he was….

When word got out two weeks ago that Ateres Tzipora was having financial difficulties, there were generous gvirim with deep pockets who offered to bail out the school on the condition that they be allowed to take a look at the school’s financial records. Mr. X. turned down every offer, refusing to let anyone see the books. I was personally in the school office when Rabbi Insel, Mrs. Insel’s husband said to Mr. X. “Let ‘Mr Z’ take over the operations and we’ll decide where to go from here on the finances and the general situation,” and Mr. X. responded, “It’s my ship; I can decide if it floats or sinks.” Continuing in a similar vein, I asked Mr. X. to name the supposed rabbonim and askanim he claimed to have consulted, a question that was echoed by Mrs. Insel who had been left completely in the dark. His response? “I can’t tell you.”

On Friday, Mr. X. took the unbelievable step of sending out a letter to parents, saying that after months of speaking with professionals, rabanim and askanim, none of whom were named in the letter, the school would be closed down due to financial difficulties. The letter continued by saying that those who were unable to find another placement for their daughter(s) should contact Mr. X. by email only and that he and others will do their best to place them in another school. One would hope that Mr. X. would have been talking about a similar school with comparable standards, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

Are you ready for this one? Mrs. Insel told me herself that last week someone received a phone call from Shalom Torah Academy in Morganville, saying that:

Ateres Tziporah was closing down, which was news to Mrs. Insel
Shalom Torah Academy had been identified as a suitable placement for Ateres Tziporah’s soon to be school-less students
Now don’t get me wrong. Shalom Torah Academy is a wonderful school located approximately 20 miles away that caters to families of all levels of religious observance. They provide boys and girls with a solid education and for many, it is their first real exposure to Torah-true yiddishkeit and their Jewish heritage, an effort that is certainly worthy of praise. But Shalom Torah Academy isn’t a Bais Yaakov school in any way, shape or form and there isn’t a single sane person in this world who thinks that Shalom Torah Academy would be a good fit for an Ateres Tziporah girl. How Mr. X. and the so-called “others” he mentioned in his letter could see this as the right place for our girls is simply beyond comprehension.

The Insels are strongly committed to finding a way to keep Ateres Tziporah running. The Ateres Tziporah parent body, which now represents 170 girls, is very much on board with doing whatever it takes to fundraise and get the school back on its feet. If Mr. X. feels that being financially responsible for Ateres Tziporah is too much for him to handle then someone else will need to be found to take his place. In all honesty, I commend him for standing up last year to take responsibility when no one else did and understand that as a husband, father and business owner, being responsible for the operations and finances of a school is a huge undertaking.

What boggles the mind is this:

Why was no public fundraising done during the school year?
Why did Mr. X. refuse countless requests from Mrs. Insel to hire a full time administrator?
If most of the school’s parents pay full tuition and there were donations coming in, what happened to all that money and why haven’t the staff and Mrs. Insel been paid in months?
If there were problems, why was everyone kept in the dark about it until just now, five weeks before school was set to open?
Why has Mr. X. refused to let anyone else see the Ateres Tziporah’s financial records, even people who were willing to step up and completely cover the school’s deficit? Is something being hidden here?
Why is Mr. X. insisting that the only possibility is to close the school?
How does a single person take it upon himself to unilaterally decide to shut down a school against the will of the principal and parent body and refuse to identify the rabbis who supposedly advised him that this is the correct course of action?
Let me end this letter by saying that this is NOT a fundraising ploy.

Anyone who knows the Insels is well aware that they have nurtured Ateres Tziporah over the past 14 years and have overcome numerous difficult situations, standing by the school because they believe that it plays an important role in the community and in the lives of our daughters. As parents we need to start brainstorming our next step so that we can get things moving in a positive direction. There is no question that Mr. X. has no place in Ateres Tziporah and if we need to re-establish the school under a new name then we will follow that road. Although all of us lead busy lives, we need to step up and put together a board of parents who are committed to the school and its ideals and to put the appropriate administrators in place so that Mrs. Insel can focus on educating our daughters.

The alternatives are unthinkable for us. There is no school in town that has room for all of our daughters and the “cookie-cutter” schools aren’t as accepting as Ateres Tziporah and they won’t take all of our students. We are tentatively calling a meeting for Monday night at 8:30 PM at a location to be determined – please email us at schoolforthegirls613@gmail.com for more details.

Finally, I admit that I am writing this with a heavy heart. Putting out a letter that could hurt another person, is not something I wanted to be doing. It is the three weeks, after all. We are all working on ourselves and trying harder to be the best that we can be. But as we just read in Parshas Pinchas, there are moments in time where we dare not stay silent. There are moments which call for action. I know there are those out there who may not like that this information is being shared and that there are even those who would prefer that Ateres Tziporah didn’t exist because we don’t fit the “typical” Lakewood mold.

But what is happening here cannot be swept under the figurative rug. It isn’t about me. It is about my daughter and 169 girls just like her, all of whom love putting on their uniforms every day and going to school and gaining a greater love and appreciation for Torah and mitzvos.

Isn’t that what our lives are supposed to be all about?

Isn’t that what we are here for?

Current Ateres Tziporah parents who have WhatsApp are asked to join our group so that we can keep everyone informed of the latest developments as quickly as possible. https://chat.whatsapp.com/D9KY.....G4rO7

ectomorph

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 7:32 pm

chestnut wrote:

One is not permitted to believe this sort of Lashon Hara.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 7:37 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

This is just a repeat of OP.

Mr Shidler likes to blame and rabble rouse. The fact is, publicizing and blaming Mr X or the Vaad, makes it seem like there were a lot of politics and systemic issues in the school.

I was in a school that closed down. There were the official reasons, and the unofficial. The fact was, any school so poorly run is probably not a good place to be a student, even if his daughter was happy.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 8:04 pm

This thread needs to go
Bye felicia

chestnut

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 8:21 pm

ectomorph wrote:

One is not permitted to believe this sort of Lashon Hara.

What sort of LH?? I was talking about the comments section.