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Nachlas Bais Yaakov elementary Lakewood
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amother




Oak


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 1:37 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
Disagree (for Lakewood). A school wouldn’t be so makpid to only accept white shirted fathers if this was the case.


Why not? Many schools in Lakewood are looking to accept parents who identify as yeshivish.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 1:38 pm
Thank you all for your input. Much appreciated.
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 1:42 pm
And yes like PP said, the fathers all wear white shirts, and most learned at least a few years after marriage but I would think very few are learning full time forever. Some of DD's friends fathers are learning still in their mid 30s but most of her classmates fathers are now working.
If you have specific questions and want to talk outside of this forum let me know.
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amother




Violet


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 2:42 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Why not? Many schools in Lakewood are looking to accept parents who identify as yeshivish.


I think “yeshivish”and “frummer” are for the most part interchangeable. In general a family who has frummer standards will be considered yeshivish.

A poster above said her husband is frummer than her bil but she didn’t get accepted to a school davka because he doesn’t wear a white shirt. BH she is in a school that she is thrilled with.

A white shirt alone really means nothing. It’s part of a package.

Are we so superficial that we are telling the men out there that we don’t care about your level of frumkeit we just want to make sure you’re wearing a white shirt so we can say we take yeshivish parents?
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amother




Oak


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 2:51 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
I think “yeshivish”and “frummer” are for the most part interchangeable. In general a family who has frummer standards will be considered yeshivish.

A poster above said her husband is frummer than her bil but she didn’t get accepted to a school davka because he doesn’t wear a white shirt. BH she is in a school that she is thrilled with.

A white shirt alone really means nothing. It’s part of a package.

Are we so superficial that we are telling the men out there that we don’t care about your level of frumkeit we just want to make sure you’re wearing a white shirt so we can say we take yeshivish parents?


I disagree.

I've met people who do not affiliate with being yeshivish, who are very frum. Fine, wonderful people. Some are proud to be "not yeshivish".


So the poster above may be very frum. I don't know why she wasn't accepted to the school, but it could be because she or her husband's mode of dress may indicate that they do not identify with yeshiva hashkafa. Which may be what the school is looking for. It could be other things as well, I have no idea.

I don't know what she means specifically when she says they are more frum than her BIL, either.


But yes, there's alot of superficiality that goes on in Lakewood. And perhaps some of it may have deeper reasons. Many people feel that when you dress the part, you may also ultimately live the part. Because we do get impacted by externals. Our dress sometimes says something about us and our Hashkafa.
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amother




Violet


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 3:20 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
I disagree.

I've met people who do not affiliate with being yeshivish, who are very frum. Fine, wonderful people. Some are proud to be "not yeshivish”


You are right. I guess it depends who you are talking to and in what context.

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

But yes, there's alot of superficiality that goes on in Lakewood. And perhaps some of it may have deeper reasons. Many people feel that when you dress the part, you may also ultimately live the part. Because we do get impacted by externals. Our dress sometimes says something about us and our Hashkafa.


I think this is true to a certain extent. Like the amother above whose husbands rebbi told him not to change his shirt, name or language when he left kollel to go to school. His Rebbi felt that this would help him maintain his standards.

But what about the man who does things that are neither frum nor yeshivish and puts on that white shirt. He continues to do whatever he wants behind closed doors. He’s not looking for the white shirt to change him- he has no standards that it is helping him maintain.

And a school would rather take him than even consider another better suited man in a colored shirt.

Just some food for thought....
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amother




Oak


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 4:09 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
I think this is true to a certain extent. Like the amother above whose husbands rebbi told him not to change his shirt, name or language when he left kollel to go to school. His Rebbi felt that this would help him maintain his standards.

But what about the man who does things that are neither frum nor yeshivish and puts on that white shirt. He continues to do whatever he wants behind closed doors. He’s not looking for the white shirt to change him- he has no standards that it is helping him maintain.

And a school would rather take him than even consider another better suited man in a colored shirt.

Just some food for thought....


Sure. I think we all agree - but we have the concept of "hanistoros L'Hashem elokeinu". We can't know what goes on behind closed doors, and can only go by that which we see.

Why does he wear the white shirt if behind closed doors he does whatever? Because he still identifies with a certain type on some level. A uniform. A pretty meaningless one, in his case. But it's what we see.
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 4:48 pm
There is a concept of your dress affecting your actions. Hachitzonius meoreres es hapnimius. DH definitely feels this in school. Hes known as the jew boy. The white shirt definitely sets him apart even more. If he were dressed in a tshirt and cargo pants and spoke their filthy lingo hed certainly feel like he fit in more even with his yarmulka...
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 4:52 pm
This thread doesnt need to keep going in circles btw. We can all agree to disagree. There are always going to be those who feel the white shirt is a fraud and those who feel like it stands for something bigger than themselves. Its fine, we dont all need to think alike. Thats what makes this world such an interesting place!
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mlc




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 05 2019, 6:22 pm
I think the point of this thread was to discuss actual school type, for practical purposes. Or at least that’s why I’ve been following with intent to learn actual info about the school


It seems that this thread has been derailed. Can I suggest a spin-off thread for those interested to debate the aspects and opinions regarding men’s clothing to portray a ‘type’
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apples1




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 10:19 pm
I’m also looking into nachlas and this thread was very helpful. Just a few more things. Does anyone know if Nachlas includes Yiddish translation? What academic level are they compared to bais Faiga? Also, for the ones who send to nachlas, where do they send their boys?
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 2:31 am
apples1 wrote:
I’m also looking into nachlas and this thread was very helpful. Just a few more things. Does anyone know if Nachlas includes Yiddish translation? What academic level are they compared to bais Faiga? Also, for the ones who send to nachlas, where do they send their boys?


Lots of boys go to Even Yisroel but they are everywhere (from tashbar to, toras Aaron , shagas Aryeh and orchos Chaim...). I’ve been told that Even Yisroel is sort of the brother school -same rav .

Idk academic level of bais Fayge and Nachlas is only up to 4th but I am under the impression they’re slightly above average academically
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amother




Navy


Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 2:41 am
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

When dh was starting school after learning in kollel for a year after marriage he went to his rebbi for a bracha and to run by him some shailos that he knew were bound to come up during the year. He mentioned that he had been to orientation and that he must do away with his white shirt because college is so casual he looks like a super odd misfit. His rebbi begged him to keep his hebrew name, his white shirt, his clean language as out forefathers had done in mitzrayim.


I would bet my house that our forefathers in mitzrayim didn't wear white button down dress shirts. But I bet a guy in a robe and sandals would have a hard time getting his kids into school.
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amother




Pewter


Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 8:20 am
Bnos Esther Malka also has some out of town and are makpid that the mother dresses tznius. Mentioning bec alot of pple that send there ,send their boys to the same boys schools that were mentioned above.
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