S/O how often did you shower when you sat shiva?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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salt

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 12:33 am

I showered just on Erev Shabbos.
And washed under my arms with a sponge and soap probably every other night.

(it was middle of summer, but admittedly, I was sitting at home all day, and therefore wasn't outdoors getting that sweaty)

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 12:47 am

Quick shower before the levayeh. Showered for Shabbos and washed around with soapy water every night.
I was 7 mths pregnant, suffered from Mrsa.

amother

Purple

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 12:54 am

"Freshened up" every night. Shower before Shabbos. Shower as soon as we got up at the end...

yerushamama

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 2:40 am

cleaned up with wipes. major heat wave, but I was in an air conditioned house. TBH, I was too numb most of the time even to think about showering.

1091

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:14 am

Showered before the levaya.

Washed up in the sink every night including washing my hair - I was young and single.

amother

Natural

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:18 am

Showering was the only peaceful time for me. The noise was comforting and so was the small room. I had to take a shower immediately and I’m not sure when else.

happyone

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:25 am

Before levaya and Erev Shabbos.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:33 am

I took regular hot showers as I normally would when I sat. I was 9 months pregnant and my rav said to do whatever makes me the most comfortable and kept reminding me that what we do during shiva, shloshim, and the first year is almost 100% minhag and not at all halacha. This is my chassidish rav, fwiw.

I: took hot showers nightly (not too hot because of the pregnancy)

Sat on a regular couch

Tore kriyah on a pajama shirt and then put my regular top back on - my clothes was mostly borrowed and I could not ruin the tops I had.

Wore leather slippers - the only shoes that fit at the time!

Listened to music. Special therapeutic flute music to calm me.

Left the house for dr appointments.

People who came to pay a shiva call kept offering to get scissors to cut my shirt, to call misaskim to get the shiva chair for me, etc. I was like, LOOK AT ME! People annoy me sometimes.

amother

Azure

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:33 am

I didn't. I washed up after a flight since I traveled during shiva.

I usually shower 2 times a day.

amother

Red

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:44 am

Showered before the levaya and definitely erev Shabbat. Tore kriyah on a shirt I didn't mind losing and only wore it when I made an appearance downstairs while my mom was sitting. I don't remember what else I might have done because I was 11 so a lot of minhagim didn't apply to me anyway, and I've blocked most of those memories from my mind.

My mom now is of the opinion that shiva is the most uncomfortable thing you will go through so no sense in making yourself more miserable than you are, but I dunno what she did that time. When she sat for her father she definitely showered.

When FIL sat, the Rav of their shul also made sure to remind them that the only thing halachically required was a Jewish burial - everything else is pure minhag.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:48 am

I showered as normal.

cuties' mom

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:18 am

R' Dovid Feinstein told us that we're not allowed to shower during shiva. We asked about dry shampoo, and he reminded us that we're sitting shiva and we're not supposed to be comfortable. I wanted to ask about leave in conditioner, but my sisters told me that he's going to say no, like he did to everything else. When someone commented about it being difficult, he said that he went through the same thing. I did not shower or use dry shampoo during shiva although I really wanted to. One really hot day, I poured some water over my head because it was a choice between doing that or scratching my head all day in a house full of people.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:22 am

Shiva's not like the nine days, it's like Tisha b'Av.
I got up from shiva on Shabbos and washed up with a shmata and soap, which was I gave to the person doing our laundry like it was hazmat.
I washed up fully after Shabbos as I was getting on an airplane.

amother

Amber

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:41 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

People who came to pay a shiva call kept offering to get scissors to cut my shirt, to call misaskim to get the shiva chair for me, etc. I was like, LOOK AT ME! People annoy me sometimes.

When we sat shiva, one of my brothers sat on a regular chair due to joint issues. Some people asked if he was adopted.
(Some people need a filter on their mouth)

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 6:43 am

Please don't compare shiva to the nine days... during shiva you don't walk around in 90 degree weather... I was so out of it I think I showered before the levayah and body parts/ head shower for shabbos

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 6:45 am

My Rav told me I can wash one limb at a time (I did that in the tub), and take a shower before Shabbos, so that's what I did during Shiva.

Zehava

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 8:17 am

Honestly don’t remember
I do remember that while I wore the same top that I tore I changed everything else underneath.

clowny

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 8:26 am

I showered just for shabbos.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 8:47 am

I thought people avoided showering during aninus.

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 10:02 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

9 mths pregnant? Wow. I was only 7.5 months but still remember one evening going into a side room and just sprawled out on the floor on my back stretching every limb. I lay there for several mins until someone came in and nearly called an ambulance. It was really tough.

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