Why have children if you just want them out of the house?

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:00 am

ectomorph wrote:

Probably not. If I hadn't grown up religious, I would have easily been convinced to focus on my strong point, which is academics, to the exclusion of all else. I'd probably be a famous professor or mathematician or scientist.

If you don't have a higher purpose, it's easy to end up without a family or stable community.

I would never have known what I missed out on. BH that I chose to serve Hashem and not to waste my life that way.

Where is this world where people are convinced not to enter into meaningful relationships and not to have children?

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:37 am

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

Omg I tried jumping rope the other day for the first time since I had 4 kids and was shocked!! Is this motherhood? :O
They need to include the inability to jump postpartum in those pregnancy books!

Kegels ladies. Do your kegels

#BestBubby

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:40 am

Today's children do not know how to entertain themselves - because parents have put their children into adult led entertainment. Even SAHM put their 2 year olds into "playgroups" because the children are "bored" at home. On Sundays children have to go to "fun schools" or extra-curricular activities (dance, music lessons, gymnastics). In Lakewood, Adults organize "Sports Leagues". Why can't boys organize on their own to meet in a park and play ball?
As a result, Children do not know how entertain themselves!

When I grew up in the old days, I went to the country - with NO DAYCAMP. We played machanayim, jump-rope, swimming, made our own hikes, played school, even organized scavenger hunts, camp fires and a performed a choir. On rainy days we read and traded books, played monopoly, rummy-cub and spit. Sometimes we were bored but we never expected our mothers to entertain us - that was for babies.

In High School, the 12th graders were completely in charge of school plays - there were no adults (except for censors). We painted our own scenery.

Our children will not be INDEPENDENT adults if they cannot even PLAY - ON THEIR OWN!

Last edited by #BestBubby on Thu, Aug 08 2019, 3:39 pm; edited 1 time in total

#BestBubby

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:46 am

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

What do you mean why? is it not obvious
I have children for conversation pieces
You know sitting around comparing labor/ delivery , how horrible or stupendous the pediatrician/ teacher/obgyn/school/simcha hall/rebbi/ camp/mechutanim are. I mean how else would I occupy myself?
Mr. Green

I laughed.

Then I thought about how hard it is for childless. Not only no kids but have nothing in common with what other women discuss.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:08 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Kegels ladies. Do your kegels

You bet I'm doing my kegels (now!) The first thing I did was check out youtube for kegels exercises! Now I'm standing around, clenching my butt and wondering if I'll ever figure out where my pelvic floor muscles are Sad

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:11 pm

ectomorph wrote:

I second that. Although growing up not religious, I always thought I'd be spending my 20s cruising around with a German shepherd, learning new languages, travelling and having adventures. Not being A Mom. A mom of 'too many' kids at that, according to imamother!

dancingqueen

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:28 pm

ectomorph wrote:

One of my MO friends had a pretend BC fail. She didn't want to admit that she just wanted another, so she pretended she had a bc fail.

It’s true. When you have x+1 kids in an MO community you lose your shul membership and get booted out. Ice cream

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:30 pm

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

What is the imamother appropriate amount of kids?

dancingqueen

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:44 pm

[quote="amother [ Hotpink ]"]You bet I'm doing my kegels (now!) The first thing I did was check out youtube for kegels exercises! Now I'm standing around, clenching my butt and wondering if I'll ever figure out where my pelvic floor muscles are Sad

[/]

Try inserting a finger like doing a bedikah and squeeze your finger.

Aylat

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:58 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Today's children do not know how to entertain themselves - because parents have put their children into adult led entertainment. Even SAHM put their 2 year olds into "playgroups" because the children are "bored" at home. On Sundays children have to go to "fun schools" or extra-curricular activities (dance, music lessons, gymnastics). In Lakewood, Adults organize "Sports Leagues". Why can't boys organize on their own to meet in a park and play ball?
As a result, Children do not know how entertain themselves!

When I grew up in the old days, I went to the country - with NO DAYCAMP. We played machanayim, jump-rope, swimming, made our own hikes, played school, even organized scavenger hunts, camp fires and a performed a choir. On rainy days we read and traded books, played monopoly, rummy-cub and spit. Sometimes we were bored but we never expected our mothers to entertain us - that was for babies.

In High School, the 12th graders were completely in charge - there were no adults (except for censors). We painted our own scenery.

Our children will not be INDEPENDENT adults if they cannot even PLAY - ON THEIR OWN!

4 out of 5 of my kids can entertain themselves great with all the things you mention - jump rope, crafts, ball, baking, reading, imaginary games, board games etc etc. They whine about 5% of the time that they are bored. One of my kids can do these things for about 30% of the time IF there is someone to do them with, and the rest of the time he is driving me and himself up the wall.

bunnyrabbit

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:58 pm

byisrael wrote:

Lets start a movement!!!!
Whole month of Nissan
3 weeks sukkot
3 weeks in august
1 week in the winter (the teachers would never agree to less vacation and 9 weeks summer + 2 weeks chagim would equal 12 weeks )

It would be way better for the kids 'cause they need the break but I find that after 3 weeks they need the regular schedule back. Also there wouldn't be this huge gap in the summer where all the learning is lost and has to be redone....
And the teachers would burnout less cause they have

Lets speak to the Sar chinuch!!!
Whoops it's a memshelet maavar they can't do anything....
Forget it - lets just kvetch

I agree. With optional keytanot for working mothers.

#BestBubby

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 1:38 pm

Another reason why kids are "bored" is because Democrat-Media have scared parents that it is too dangerous for kids to play outside unsupervised. There is NOT more kidnapping now than in the past when parents let their kids roam for hours - no cellphones (not invented). My friends and I went hiking in the woods in the catskills and down the road "to town" - no adults. Worse, Democrats have criminalized letting kids play outside on their own - might get CPS investigation.

Also, parents wrongly taught that sunshine is dangerous. While too much sun can cause harm - so can too LITTLE sun. One of the reason for high cancer rate is too little sun, too much sun block, which causes Vitamin D Deficiency - a cause of cancer.

#BestBubby

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 1:39 pm

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

When urinating, try stopping the flow - that's your pelvic muscles.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 1:42 pm

little neshamala wrote:

Come on...dont be so simplistic. Im sure women who cant wait for the kids to get out of the house still love them and want them.
How about you change the topic of this thread, and edit your post to something a little more friendly? (I hope I dont sound nasty. Im being serious)

Last edited by amother on Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:50 am; edited 1 time in total

#BestBubby

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 1:42 pm

Aylat wrote:

Are there any kids on the block he can play with? Usually when kids are off from school, so are the neighbors. The kids should all be outside playing with each other, riding bikes, etc.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 1:46 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

I so agree with u! It drives me up the wall when I see mothers carrying on that the kids had a snow day and they don’t know what to do with them on sundays when they’re home!

Last edited by amother on Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:49 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 1:50 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

I think most people missed the fact that the OP of the thread that triggered this, said that her kids are now at home with a babysitter. She's out at work anyway, so of course she prefers that they're being cared for elsewhere rather than making a mess while she's out. Either way she's not able to spend this time with them.

Last edited by amother on Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:48 am; edited 2 times in total