Anyone trying to fast, even though you got a heter?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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amother

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 7:45 am

I have an "excuse"not to fast. My dh got a heter for me. But I'm feeling sort of fine. Slight headache, and weakness, and I'm feeling hungry lol. But I'm fine otherwise, and it's not dangerous for me to fast. So I try one more hour at a time. Is there a point? Dh makes me feel foolish for pushing off eating when I don't have to. I don't mind fasting and it makes more sense for me.
Anyone get me here?

amother

Cerise

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 7:47 am

I am not trying to fast as it could be dangerous for me. I also need to wash as I can't risk any kind of infection as that could be fatal.

I feel so divorced from everyone else today. I hate fasting, but I hate not fasting.

ectomorph

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 7:49 am

I do the same if there isn't a clear medical condition. I'm generally an awful faster. So I try to do it hour by hour.

Iymnok

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:03 am

It’s suggested that everyone to try to fast until the morning. The next time is chatzos. Daven Mincha with nachem then (make havdallah) eat.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:03 am

I'm an excellent faster but I'm scared of losing my milk supply, the Rov said that I dont need to fast and so I made havdalah already last night.
I'm kind of the school of thought that if you got a heater, then your job is to listen to the Rov and not fast.

ectomorph

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:06 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

Only if the heter is for a clear medical reason. You should not try to fast w diabetes or in late high risk pregnancy for example. But many heterim like mine are based on my terrible fasting that makes me sick... So if I'm not feeling sick it's fine to fast.

happyone

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:09 am

It depends what your heter is for. if you are not putting yourself at risk, I would try until chatzos or until I didnt feel I can. Most of us forget breakfast sometimes when busy and dont eat until lunchtime. its when its s fast day that it becomes more difficult .

amother

Blonde

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:12 am

I’m nursing. Told to go to chatzos and then see how I feel. IyH if I feel good o hope to take it hour by hour.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:13 am

If your Rav told you not to fast (he gave you a heter), the halacha for you becomes that you must eat. Unless things have changed, you should be eating as told.

As the Rov told my Zaide, for you it's a mitzvah to eat - an obligation. The Torah says venishmartem... Also says vechai bahem... Not drinking (sometimes eating too) can put ones life at risk. If a Dr says not to and a Rov confirms then your obligation is to drink. It's not a loop hole for you. It is now halacha for you. And you should not feel guilty.

Edited to add: if it's dependent on a situation, then you judge if you need to or not, if the Rov did not give clear guidance..

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:14 am

I'm being responsible. I'm mostly sitting or lying. I'll break my fast as soon as I really feel bad, but for now, I feel no urgent reason to eat.

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:16 am

Can't post too many details, because of family members here, but I think my situation is quite unique, and I would love to get some support here. Don't know how to do it without disclosing details Confused

ectomorph

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:19 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Um, that's not the same thing. It really depends on the situation.

Again, if there's a clear medical reason (medication, diabetes, complex pregnancy) thats one situation.

If the heter is Because you become ill, it is meritorious to wait for morning or chatzos ... To fast to the best of your ability without becoming ill.

There is no requirement to eat breakfast if you often skip breakfast, for example. It is meritorious to try to fast.

Look, I'm the hugest supporter of heterim, but a heter isn't a requirement to eat in most cases.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:26 am

I'm not gonna push myself if I cant. So far, I haven't felt hungry or thirsty. I'm gonna get an iced coffee when I go grocery shopping soon, just because I'm bomb tired, and I dont know how to make coffee.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:30 am

Last year was the first time I really asked my Rov about drinking Yom Kippur. I was in my first trimester and could not keep down anything. My Dr wanted me in the ER for IV. I begged them to first prescribe something or I would be in the ER most of the pregnancy. They prescribed Zofran but told me I couldn't fast. My Rov me that from 9am I should drink a shiur every 9 minutes. If I start to feel weak or a headache I must fully drink and eat properly.

As much as I felt guilty, I knew that for me halacha was to drink the shiur.

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:34 am

I wish I can post more details, but I'm protecting my dh's privacy.
I'll just have to use my own intuition

amother

Blonde

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:35 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Yes. When my grandfather was on critical heart medicine that had to be taken with food. He had to eat.

I’m nursing. It’s very different. While my baby doesn’t take a bottle and does depend on me for a large part of his nourishment he does he eat some food.
I will not get injured by surprised dehydration because I would fell lousy beforehand. And can decide to drink if I feel weak or light headed.
There is no emergency or life critical or even slightly critical reason for me personally to eat now. I can often eat later in the day and still have enough milk for my baby in the morning. So I’ll take it hour by hour and decide as the day goes on.

amother

Violet

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:36 am

No. Last time I decided I’d fast even though I didn’t have to I ended up in the emergency room. After that rov made it clear.... it’s not just I’m giving you permission not to fast, I’m forbidding you to fast.

amother

Blonde

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:38 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you have a heter and you feel you should eat then eat. You are doing nothing wrong at all. And as a previous poster said protecting yourself is a mitzvah that comes before fasting even on Yom Kippur.

Beingreal

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:38 am

I also don't have to fast, otherwise I end up in the hospital.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 8:43 am

I was told by my Dr that most people don't realize how much water you need to maintain a milk supply and that I would probably not feel sick before it would be too late ( supply drastically drops).
I'm 90 % formula feeding ( because I have such a low supply) and my daughter is only three months.
I'm not going to do anything to risk the tiny bit I still have left.
The Rov agreed with me.
I think that rabbonim are becoming much more aware of the advantages of nursing and are giving piskei din using that info.

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