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5 year old acting out at school/ camp when bored

 
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 10:35 am
My 5 year old has been evaluated many times and has always tested as 2-3 years above age level intellectually and emotionally. The problem is she misbehaves when she is bored. For example they had a show in camp, she found it boring so she decided she doesn't have to sit with her bunk and started wondering off. When I asked her why she disrupted the show and didn't listen when they told her to sit down she said I was too bored to stay there. This happens with activities she finds boring and in school it happened very often as well. I get many complaints from staff that she doesn't always listen and she has arguments and reasons as to why she can do whatever it is she is doing. We have tried rewards, punishments, and just speaking to her about what's expected and how she has to listen. Usually the behavior will get better for a little while, but it keeps happening in different ways. Does anyone have experience or advice?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 10:50 am
She sounds extremely intelligent. If she is above her peers emotionally, then she could safely skip a grade. If not, look into gifted programs for her, and get her an extracurricular activity like music, dance, or art.

Try to find something small and quiet that she can play with during boring times. Something that won't disrupt anyone else. Learning games on a DS system could be good. My DD did extremely well with them, and could sit a long time as long as her brain was engaged.

https://www.commonsensemedia.o.....do-ds-4464
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amother




Indigo


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 1:02 pm
Agree with having a non disruptive backup activity available for times when she's "bored." How is her attention in general?
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 4:19 pm
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
Agree with having a non disruptive backup activity available for times when she's "bored." How is her attention in general?


When she is interested or enjoying she can sit and focus for a long time on one thing.
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amother




Brunette


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 4:57 pm
I would not be so quick to assume that her explanation of "boring" should always be taken at face value.

While I believe my 5 year old daughter knows what "boring" means and often uses it correctly, I think she sometimes also uses it to cover up other motivations for refusing to participate in certain activities. Based on body language and other hints, I think she sometimes uses it as an excuse to refrain from or disrupt an activity that intimidates her or makes her anxious. Like not wanting to speak in front of a crowd, or try new athletic feats, or do something with a bunch of new kids.

But she hates to admit anything that makes her (in her mind) lose face. So if, for example, the activity was that everyone had to tell a joke, she would never admit "I'm scared that my joke won't be funny and the other kids won't laugh at it, and then I'll be embarassed." She'd be much more likely to say "I'm tired," or "This is boring."

Even adults aren't reliable in reporting the reasons that they act a certain way. Much less children.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 5:00 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
I would not be so quick to assume that her explanation of "boring" should always be taken at face value.

While I believe my 5 year old daughter knows what "boring" means and often uses it correctly, I think she sometimes also uses it to cover up other motivations for refusing to participate in certain activities. Based on body language and other hints, I think she sometimes uses it as an excuse to refrain from or disrupt an activity that intimidates her or makes her anxious. Like not wanting to speak in front of a crowd, or try new athletic feats, or do something with a bunch of new kids.

But she hates to admit anything that makes her (in her mind) lose face. So if, for example, the activity was that everyone had to tell a joke, she would never admit "I'm scared that my joke won't be funny and the other kids won't laugh at it, and then I'll be embarassed." She'd be much more likely to say "I'm tired," or "This is boring."

Even adults aren't reliable in reporting the reasons that they act a certain way. Much less children.


Most of the activities are actually things that she is ahead in or really doesn't enjoy. She does not use boring instead of scared or tired or other things. She has no problem letting us know when she is scared or tired but she is not disruptive at those times, only when she is truly bored.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 5:06 pm
The question is, why is she finding school so boring at age 4/5? No matter how intelligent she is, she should enjoy playing, hearing stories, and learning parsha. Those are all happening in first grade too. When is she acting up?
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 5:08 pm
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
The question is, why is she finding school so boring at age 4/5? No matter how intelligent she is, she should enjoy playing, hearing stories, and learning parsha. Those are all happening in first grade too. When is she acting up?


She enjoys the learning parts, she just doesn't enjoy the less stimulating parts.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 5:09 pm
The point is this is the way she is. I'm looking for ideas that I or the school/camp can implement together. It's not all the time and it's not even that frequent but when it happens school/ camp gets annoyed.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 5:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The point is this is the way she is. I'm looking for ideas that I or the school/camp can implement together. It's not all the time and it's not even that frequent but when it happens school/ camp gets annoyed.


I think it will help you to understand what's behind her behavior. That will make your intervention more likely to succeed.

What does she enjoy? If she likes jumping rope, let her jump rope at camp when they're doing an activity she doesn't want to do. You need to figure out appropriate substitutes for each scenario. Something she can do independently without disrupting the rest of the campers. Playing with slime, Shopkins, coloring, sticker book.
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amother




Olive


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 5:19 pm
What test could show that a kid is 2-3 years ahead emotionally? Why has she been evaluated so many times?

But if she is truly so ahead, skipping might work.
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 5:25 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
What test could show that a kid is 2-3 years ahead emotionally? Why has she been evaluated so many times?

But if she is truly so ahead, skipping might work.


She was evaluated because she needed pt for low muscle tone and here it's automatic that they test for cognitive delays too and the school insisted on her being evaluated by a psychologist as well. That is what the reports said. Basically despite all evaluations no one found anything wrong except that she is ahead in a few areas.
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