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Would you go to the wedding?

 
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:03 pm
If you were invited to a wedding from a client of yours over the phone a week before the wedding and then they send you a copy of the invitation by email would you go? Previous weddings we got a physical invitation from this client. The wedding is at least 1 hour and 15 minutes each way without traffic.
For me to go say mazel tov its at least 2.5 - 3 hours of driving.
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pesek zman




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:04 pm
Would you have wanted to go if you got a proper invitation
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challahchallah




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:05 pm
I wouldn’t feel any obligation to go. If you want to, by all means you should. If you don’t, reply to the email with a warm mazel tov message and say you’re sorry to miss the celebration.
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:06 pm
pesek zman wrote:
Would you have wanted to go if you got a proper invitation

When they made local simchas I always went to say mazel tov. Here its a shlep after a days of work.
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amother




Olive


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:06 pm
No need to go. The client may have sent an unofficial invitation because of the long drive, not wanting you to feel obligated.
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:10 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
No need to go. The client may have sent an unofficial invitation because of the long drive, not wanting you to feel obligated.

But they mentioned about the wedding on the phone before they sent a copy of the invitation
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amother




Olive


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
But they mentioned about the wedding on the phone before they sent a copy of the invitation


Same, though. They wanted to let you know about it so you wouldn't be insulted, but didn't want to make you shlep.

I've had times where I received personalized invitations for weddings very far away or very inconvenient for me (like 2-3 weeks postpartum), and then felt guilty that I wasn't going to go. If the person had invited me through e-mail and/or over the phone, I wouldn't have felt obligated.
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chocolatecake




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:21 pm
I wouldn’t go but call or even email a Mazel Tov a day or two before or after
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amother




Blue


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
But they mentioned about the wedding on the phone before they sent a copy of the invitation


Your worst case scenario here is losing this client. Do you think that's likely given what you know about this client? If you did lose the client - would that be 'ok'?
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:34 pm
amother [ Blue ] wrote:
Your worst case scenario here is losing this client. Do you think that's likely given what you know about this client? If you did lose the client - would that be 'ok'?

This is what I am nervous about.
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ShishKabob




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:48 pm
I wouldn't go either but send my warm wishes. Unless they are really a good client and you are very heimish and friendly with them. I look at it this way, they needed to be a mentch and send you an invite and you need to be a mentch by wishing them the best. I don't see a need for totally going out of your way unless there's something more here. Bhatzlocha
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amother




Blue


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 12:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
This is what I am nervous about.


Well - none of us know the details of this relationship - or have insight into this person. As you know - some people are irrational.

I would call with a warm mazel tov and a good reason why you are unable to go... and then hope she accepts that with no hard feelings....

.... but I don't know this client, or how important to you this client is.
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amother




Pink


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 3:32 pm
You were invited a week before. It's not unlikely that you'd have other plans by then, so I don't think you're obligated at all!
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amother




Amethyst


Post  Tue, Aug 13 2019, 3:44 pm
It may also be that although they sent paper invitations in the past, now they did only e-vites.

A talmid of my husband did a whole electronic thing (you rsvp online etc) but printed maybe 40 invitations for those of his rebbeim who don't have email. (Presumably no friends in that category : )

That doesn't necessarily change whether you feel you need to go or not.

For sure if you send a nice gift and warm wishes, sorry you have other plans etc, I am sure most normal people would not take offense.
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