How should I deal with this?

amother

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:04 pm

My 4.5 yr old came off the bus with a sly smile and told me that he peed on the bus. He said his friend told him to do it. I said I was very upset and have to think what to do about it. Should I bring it up again or ignore? WWYD?

amother

Ruby

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:13 pm

Try to get centered and calm down. Talk to your husband or friends with boys. That's what I would do,

amother

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:17 pm

I am very calm now, so thinking how to deal with this professionally. Deciding if I should tell me husband or not. My son told me, so I want to deal with it.

ectomorph

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:18 pm

My 4.5 year old just did something similar. It must be contagious Smile

it was becoming an issue

I instituted a small prize every time they go in the potty and they're back to normalm

amother

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:19 pm

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

It's normal for children to try to push the boundaries a little.

That’s true, but I don’t think this is a boundary that needed to be said. It’s also not the kind of boundary that is normal to push. He didn’t make an accident, he purposely did it.

amother

Ecru

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:20 pm

He's experimenting with breaking rules and misbehaving to see what happens.

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:23 pm

I would tell him calmly that he's a big boy and I expect him to use the bathroom like a big boy.

amother

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:23 pm

ectomorph wrote:

I instituted a small prize every time they go in the potty and they're back to normalm

Not sure you understood my post. He didn’t get his pants wet. He pulled his pants down and peed on the bus seat.

amother

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:24 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

I would tell him calmly that he's a big boy and I expect him to use the bathroom like a big boy.

So should I bring it up again just to tell him this?

amother

Natural

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:30 pm

I would tell him that It looks like he's not big enough to ride the bus because big boys don't pee on the bus.
Do they have a bus monitor? You can mention to the monitor what the boys are up to.
It is normal for boys to pee in unusual places but it needs to be made clear to them that it's wrong.

ectomorph

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Not sure you understood my post. He didn’t get his pants wet. He pulled his pants down and peed on the bus seat.

I understand. My child was deliberately peeing on toys for a few days. It was an attention seeking activity. When I made a more interesting place to get positive attention (making in the toilet or potty got you a chance to pick out a toy car) it stopped being an issue.

(We have hundreds of toy cars. I put them in a huge bag and let them pick out one at a timbre as a prize. As the house fills up w cars, I secretly return them to the bag).

SixOfWands

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:38 pm

Talk to him about it.

Take him to his seat at the kitchen or dining room table, and ask him if he would feel good about sitting on it if you peed on it. Same with his bed, and his toys. Remind him that other people won't feel good about sitting on the seat or walking on a floor that he peed on.

Ideally, he should apologize to the bus driver, and be made to clean the seat or floor. OTOH, there's a good chance he'll be kicked off the bus, so you have to weigh this.

anonymrs

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:22 pm

I don't know your kid but if he came off the bus and told you about it with a sly smile, he knew he shouldn't have done it. If it was my kid, I would give him zero attention for it. Maybe in a week, I would randomly comment on something related that I notice his mature behavior in this area.

ddmom

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 9:28 am

I would give my son a bit of a mussar shmooze, how inappropriate it is and how does the bus driver feels about having a smelly dirty bus...and then ask him "what should I do to make sure it never happens again?"
"Do you think I need to punish you?"
Let him come up with his own conclusions and go from there!
I would not ignore something that he purposely shared with you! Tell him you're sad,disappointed...or whatever.