Best parenting books

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Sep 09 2019, 8:30 am

#BestBubby wrote:

I don't think this is an either/or. You can do both.
You should teach the children WHY they should pick up the wrapper, eat healthy, brush their teeth, etc.
You should also teach children that even if they don't agree with Mommy, they have to do it anyway.

You can explain to children that when they were 2 y.o. doesn't understand why they couldn't run in the street - but Mommy didn't let. And they may not understand at 6 why Mommy doesn't let unlimited junk - because they are not as big as Mommy. There are some things they can only understand when they are older - meanwhile they have to obey and trust that Mommy loves them and it's for their own good.

I'm going to ask you to edit your post. I decided to go anonymous.
I asked not to quote me.[quote]

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 09 2019, 8:34 am

Rosamund is great to read for the parent, you don't have to employ it or be as strict, just remember it is not a negociation or a power struggle because you are not in the same category.

Delicate balance
Blessing of a skinned knee
Anything Jungreis
That book analyzing parenting from rav Hirsch
and yes, Rosemund for the theory

I am strict on Imamother though in reality people tell me I'm not strict enough, it's all cultural

#BestBubby

Mon, Sep 09 2019, 8:44 am

Ruchel wrote:

Yes, I said I felt Rosamond was TOO strict. I think he exaggerated to make a point.
But parents should read the free excerpts of his books on Amazon to get the point that
Parents are the boss and children should quickly learn that they must obey. This does not mean parents should not explain the reason for the rules but obedience is not dependent on the children AGREEING with the parent's reasoning. That just encourages endless arguments and "nudging" by kids.

southernbubby

Mon, Sep 09 2019, 8:59 am

When I lived in Detroit, I visited the Self Esteem Shop for books that could be read to the kids about how to deal with issues that they were having so that we could discuss those issues, such as sibling rivalry.
The shop is owned by a Jewish woman with a degree in psychology and she is very perceptive and sells online and over the phone. She also has games for teaching social skills as well as books that boost parenting skills.
I would say that the best parenting books are those that we read to the kids (or appropriate games).
ETA: I used it for grandchildren because my children were older when she opened.

southernbubby

Mon, Sep 09 2019, 9:09 am

#BestBubby wrote:

I have one of his books from the 80's and he has some good ideas.
Some rules do have to stick and be part of routine and hating homework isn't a good enough reason not to do it.