Did you/ would you pierce your baby's ears?

amother

Red

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 10:30 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

I wouldn't. I'll wait until they're Bas Mitzvah and mature enough to decide.

Probably one of the reasons I feel this way is because I had a lot of really painful infections, turns out I'm allergic to a lot of earrings and it runs in my family. Either I could get my daughters 24 karat gold (which I'm pretty sure none of us are allergic to), or I could just wait until they are older and they can try with 14 karat.

(I can't wear sterling silver, or even platinum. Some of my family are allergic to 14 karat too.)

I'm allergic to everything except for niobium. But I developed some of these allergies as an adult. And my girls so far have been fine with gold.

tichellady

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 10:48 pm

Not my thing but I do think it’s cute. I got mine pierced when I wanted them as a child and I was very happy about how that worked out. If my daughter doesn’t want her ears pierced ever that’s fine with me.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 10:52 pm

I love earrings. I have a huge collection and would feel practically naked walking out of my house with bare ears. I got my ears pierced when I was 9 as a birthday present.

I would never pierce a baby's ears for the same reasons mentioned above - there is absolutely no good reason to make a decision on another person's behalf that will alter their body when they have no say in the matter. And, no, I don't think wanting a baby to look cute is a good reason. Babies already look cute! I have one DD who is a preteen and has absolutely no interest in jewelry other than a sporty watch. I have another DD who is a preschooler and has already asked when she can get her ears pierced and I told her when she's old enough to take care of them on her own.

Not chassidish.

momsrus

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 11:48 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Certain chassidush circles (not all of them) consider pierced ears within a week of birth almost halacha. You'll see it even when they have their tenth girl.

I'm from those circles but no, not piercing my (hypothetical) girls ears before a few months- a year old. Once they start school at around 2.5 it's social suicide if they don't have pierced ears. I'm not the type of person to care about peer pressure but even I wouldn't do that to a child.

[b]

This is the absolute worst time you can do it. Either do it as a newborn or wait until they are older.

essie14

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:12 am

I pierced my DD's ears when she was 6 months. She didn't cry and now she's 2 and LOVES earrings. She would have asked me for earrings when she was 20 months. She's such a girly girl and wants to be just like Ima.

SuperWify

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:36 am

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

Babies are perfect just as they are. Why do you need to cause them pain? What message are we sending to ourselves and our girls that we need to be improved from birth?

I know terrible right!?!? Like hello! mommy what on earth were you thinking??? You must have thought I was such an ugly baby!! You pierced my beautiful ears with a hole and stick a piece of metal in them! Terrible!!! Now you know why I suffer from such a lack of self esteem and body issues blah blah blah... now you know why I’m smoking weed and I’m anorexic! Why I am so messed up!! Because you touched my body without my permission!!! How dare you?!? It hurt so much I must have cried for days after.

Puh-lease. People want to blame their parents for all their problems.

And Mommy, thanks so much for getting my ears pierced at three years old. I have such a good memory. I think that was my earliest memory actually! I remember feeling so special and feminine because my brother couldn’t get his pierced! I’m happy I had them growing up, each and every day I got to put on my earrings and feel pretty, loved and taken care of.

amother

Navy

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:44 am

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

Babies are perfect just as they are. Why do you need to cause them pain? What message are we sending to ourselves and our girls that we need to be improved from birth?

It's all about gender equality.

chagru

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:59 am

Am I The only one who finds earrings in very little babies quite ugly? All the more so, when the babies are bald. I pierced my daughters ears when they asked for it, around 3.5-4 With one daughter she had lots of hair around 2 and I wanted to pierce her ears, but she was scared, so I waited till she wanted it. Chasidish

Aylat

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:36 am

PinkFridge wrote:

No. I wouldn't want to pierce a child's ears till she could be a responsible participant in caring for the earrings.

This was what we did. I told my daughter that when she was consistent in brushing her hair, her teeth, showering etc., then she was mature enough to look after earrings. IIRC around 8. She was motivated because she wanted earrings. I also wouldn't do it unless my daughter wanted, so not when she's a baby.

Last edited by Aylat on Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:37 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sienna

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:49 am

SuperWify wrote:

It's possible to disagree without being snarky. Ok, you don't think that piercing a baby's ears sends a message that the child needs to be improved. I do. I respect your point of view, even if I don't share it.

Debbie

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:58 am

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

Babies are perfect just as they are. Why do you need to cause them pain? What message are we sending to ourselves and our girls that we need to be improved from birth?

Sienna,I could not agree with you more.
My girls got their ears pierced when they were 6 years old,they were old enough to be excited and to be taught how to help with caring for the piercing and old enough to be asked if they actually wanted it done.
My younger daughter now has her own baby girl, and she told me that she wants to wait until the baby is around 6 years old,because she wants her to be excited about it too and to have a bit of a choice.

Teomima

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 5:05 am

I didn't get mine pierced till I decided I really wanted to. I don't remember exactly how old I was though, some time in my pre-teens or early teens. Since then I've gone on to get many, many more piercings (though I don't usually wear any jewelry).

As for my daughters, I don't believe in making those kinds of cosmetic changes to another person's body, especially when they're too young to even appreciate it/understand. I've always told my girls they can get it done when they choose, as long as they're willing to take good care of their ears. So far only one of my kids has decided to do it. She did it when she was nine. We discussed piercing methods and watched a bunch of videos and she decided to get hers professionally done (by a body piercer, with a needle). I was so proud of her for making such a responsible decision about her own body. She was awesome about it, didn't cry or anything, and has taken excellent care of her ears.

nchr

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 5:30 am

Btw the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting until your child at least has had their first tetanus shot so that's 8 weeks old.

And it's also better, healthier and safer to pierce with a needle, not a gun.

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 6:12 am

SuperWify wrote:

amother

Crimson

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 6:13 am

I guess I'm in the minority, but I really don't like pierced earrings on babies. I think they are so perfect and soft, and seeing that piece of metal shoved in their skin is just jarring to me.

Then again, I am not a big proponent of pierced earrings at all. Most of my girls got theirs pierced as teens (some multiple piercings), when it was their choice.

LovesHashem

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:22 am

My parents weren't religious when I was born and my grandmother, who owned a high end jewelry store pierced my ears when I was a week old.

I don't see any issue piercing unconsenting newborn babies.

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:24 am

DD1 was very bald so I had her ears pierced at 3 months before my sibling's wedding.
They were fine until she was about 1.5 and then they got infected a few times and I realized she needs to wear only surgical steel earrings or ones that are not on the ear - hoops or leverbacks.
Problem was she was still bald and looked funny with anything besides studs lol! She is 9 now and loves her earrings.

For DD2, we waited until she was 3 and she got it as a reward for being toilet trained at night.

DD3 is already toilet trained but I haven't pierced her ears yet because she hasn't asked for it and I think I will wait until she wants it.

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:29 am

By the way, almost no one uses the old-fashioned guns or a needle nowadays.
They have these special ear piercing earrings that are in a disposable white plastic "gun." The put the ear in, squeeze and the earring comes out and they throw away the "gun."

You can even buy it yourself on Amazon - look up disposable ear piercing kit.