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Is it okay to tell them not to use toys?
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amother




Fuchsia


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:17 pm
Amarante wrote:
Nothing wrong with telling them that they are not to use the items on shelves.

However, I agree that it might be difficult to enforce. If possible I would tack sheets in front of the shelves so there is no temptation. You can seal the sides with duct tape.


Great idea.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:18 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
I disagree with this in principle. I don't undertstand why children should be left unsupervised when guests in someone's home and why the parents shouldn't enforce the don't touch rule. BUT since I already know most parents don't supervise the way I do and aren't as respectful of other people's homes and things as I try to be, I would agree that it would be best if you could put these things away somewhere, OP.

Kids also vary. Mine are amazing dumping ninjas at home and climb everywhere. My 3 year old just demonstrated to me how to climb over a 4 foot fence. My 1 year old just climbed out of the side of the 2 foot high baby gate. You don't want to know what my older kid (s) can do. I have learned not to go anywhere with them. Even hitting them would make zero impact.

To bw perfectly honest, I would cancel my plans if the OP asked me this in real life, because it's just an unrealistic expectation for my toddlers. If it was my sister's wedding and I had no other choice, I'd do my best, but frankly it is impossible to guarantee.
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motherofmunchki




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:20 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm putting up a family for Shabbos for a neighbors simcha. THey will be sleeping in my basement. Is it okay if I tell them that the toys are off limits. I use them for therapy. I spent countless hours this summer cleaning and organizing my therapy toys and some are expensive and I don't want to lose pieces. Is it okay to tell them not to touch? or is that rude?


I would just hide them to solve the issue.
You are definitely allowed, it's not rude. It also won't make them feel comfortable, since the kids may try to touch them and the parents will have to police them.
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sarahmalka




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:27 pm
Tell the parents and the children it's off limits and cover them with bedsheets (drape over the shelves or tack up... I think someone mentioned this already). And if the guests know these are for your work then it's on them to replace anything that gets used and broken.
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Librarian




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:54 pm
An easier alternative to sheets would be paper or plastic tablecloths
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amother




Apricot


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm putting up a family for Shabbos for a neighbors simcha. THey will be sleeping in my basement. Is it okay if I tell them that the toys are off limits. I use them for therapy. I spent countless hours this summer cleaning and organizing my therapy toys and some are expensive and I don't want to lose pieces. Is it okay to tell them not to touch? or is that rude?

Please tell them in advance. There is nothing wrong. It’s your house, your rules. They may be able to manage, or they simply may look for a different place. The mother has to know what she is able to do.
I once missed a family simcha because of such situation and I have no regrets. My sanity and the host’s were priorities.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:08 pm
Librarian wrote:
An easier alternative to sheets would be paper or plastic tablecloths

I really don’t know which mother ll be able to say the whole time “please don’t touch the sheets, please don’t touch the toys....” or take the kids to the bathroom with her.
Op said she has no time to cover anything and there is no way to lock...
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Librarian




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:13 pm
The op has every right to ask that the toys not be touched. And the guest should do her utmost to respect this request. That being said, I would NOT like to be that guest!
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amother




Teal


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:21 pm
You can ask wtvr you would like as it's your house, but honestly I would be very annoyed to stay by someone like this. If you would give me a few toys that they can use then I hopefully can push those but to have a bunch of toys right there in the open but off limits would be too much for me. Please invest in shelves WITH DOORS that you can lock up so this doesn't happen again.
I would have a super hard Shabbos this way....
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amother




Maroon


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:32 pm
As op is doing a favor by hosting people, why should she spend money on expensive door shelving?? These aren't paying tenants or even regular guests. It's a big chesed she is doing.
I agree, duct taping sheets or cardboard over the shelves will give you peace of mind.
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amother




Teal


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:50 pm
amother [ Maroon ] wrote:
As op is doing a favor by hosting people, why should she spend money on expensive door shelving?? These aren't paying tenants or even regular guests. It's a big chesed she is doing.
I agree, duct taping sheets or cardboard over the shelves will give you piece of mind.


Shelves with doors are not always expensive and that way it can be locked, so if it comes up in the future there won't be any questions. It's a normal thing that people lock up what they don't need other touching, it's weird looking to stick sheets and cardboard.
I don't know if it is common in her area to host a lot but in many areas it is and it can come up againabnd again...
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amother




Maroon


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:06 pm
That's up to the host to decide, it's entitled of the guests to get annoyed about it or have expectations about what the host should do especially when it involves spending money.
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amother




Periwinkle


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:12 pm
For all I know, this OP might be my host as I am in this situation this shabbos. As a guest, I plan on bringing a few of my own toys for my kids to play with, as I usually do unless I know the host well and know she doesn't have an issue with my kids using her toys.
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camp123




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Aug 17 2019, 5:22 pm
Just tell them in advance. You can ask what you like but they need advance warning so they can either cancel or come prepared.
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amother




Wheat


Post  Sat, Aug 17 2019, 6:05 pm
I find this so interesting. If I would be put up in a stranger's home, I wouldn't dream of using their toys unless they specifically mention that I can.
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amother




Black


Post  Sat, Aug 17 2019, 6:19 pm
Amarante wrote:
Nothing wrong with telling them that they are not to use the items on shelves.

However, I agree that it might be difficult to enforce. If possible I would tack sheets in front of the shelves so there is no temptation. You can seal the sides with duct tape.


Don't use duct tape. You can destroy the shelves. Use the green painter's tape if you are going to do this. I wouldn't tack anything to my book cases either.

That being said, I would find it too annoying to child proof my work space, and I would pass on doing the mitzvah for a family with very young kids. By age 5 or so, my kids wouldn't touch a stranger's toys without permission.

Ask to speak to the guest. If she can't guarentee her kids won't touch your work toys, then explain to the hostess, you can't house them.
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amother




Purple


Post  Sun, Aug 25 2019, 3:01 pm
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
I find this so interesting. If I would be put up in a stranger's home, I wouldn't dream of using their toys unless they specifically mention that I can.


Same here, and I think it's perfectly fine for the host to say not to touch the toys, but I also know that if my children were staying in a room with toys easily accessible and visible on shelves, I would find it enormously stressful.

Sure I would explain that they aren't ours and we can't touch, but kids don't always obey and it would be a huge temptation for them to have the toys right there. I wouldn't agree to stay under those circumstances but not because I don't think the host is perfectly within their rights to forbid use of the toys.
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PinkFridge




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Aug 25 2019, 3:10 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm putting up a family for Shabbos for a neighbors simcha. THey will be sleeping in my basement. Is it okay if I tell them that the toys are off limits. I use them for therapy. I spent countless hours this summer cleaning and organizing my therapy toys and some are expensive and I don't want to lose pieces. Is it okay to tell them not to touch? or is that rude?


I know it's too late now but going forward, of course you set the rules. But you need to tell anyone asking you for hosting that if they're thinking of your house as kid-friendly, regrettably you can only have older guests because the toys are off limits. Tizku l'mitzvos!
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