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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:40 pm
How do you politely ask a guest to refrain from using coarse language in front of your family? I'm hosting relatives and very uncomfortable with the amount of curse words they use in casual conversation
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amother




White


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:42 pm
We blame things like this on the kids. "Hey guys, recently we've overheard the kids testing out some language we'd rather them not use...can we try to keep the table talk PG rated? Thanks so much"
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:48 pm
We had such a guest and we don't let him in our house anymore.
I would tell him "this is a jewish home and a shabbos table, please mind your language." It didn't help so he's not welcome anymore.
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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:58 pm
amother [ White ] wrote:
We blame things like this on the kids. "Hey guys, recently we've overheard the kids testing out some language we'd rather them not use...can we try to keep the table talk PG rated? Thanks so much"


That would be great if my kids could talk Can't Believe It
I have a young toddler and a baby
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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:59 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
We had such a guest and we don't let him in our house anymore.
I would tell him "this is a jewish home and a shabbos table, please mind your language." It didn't help so he's not welcome anymore.


That's not an option right now
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Cheiny




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do you politely ask a guest to refrain from using coarse language in front of your family? I'm hosting relatives and very uncomfortable with the amount of curse words they use in casual conversation


Just state it firmly. “Please don’t use that type of language in our home. We don’t speak that way and would rather not hear it either.”
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amother




Ginger


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:29 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That would be great if my kids could talk Can't Believe It
I have a young toddler and a baby


One of my toddlers first words was the F word. It really bothered me. So even if they don’t speak much, they pick up what they hear.

I’d say I don’t want my kids learning those words, (as opposed to “speaking”)
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amother




Navy


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 3:39 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That would be great if my kids could talk Can't Believe It
I have a young toddler and a baby

Actually, that's more of a reason to keep them from hearing bad language. Even people who don't mind their kids swearing like sailors don't want their first word to be a four letter!
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amother




Jade


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 4:33 pm
OP, I have no answer. My dad likes to say "cr@p" all the time, even around the shabbos table. Nobody wants to have to reprimand their own parents. But I did gently bring it up once and it resulted in a 5 minute monologue about how cr@p is not a bad word and I'm too uptight. Can't Believe It
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tigerwife




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 4:44 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That would be great if my kids could talk Can't Believe It
I have a young toddler and a baby


The first time- “hey- not in front of the kids, please.” Smile disarmingly.

Second time- same answer.

If they insist on continuing to use bad language, well, they are simply rude. Don’t make it a frum thing. Adults can learn to think before they speak.
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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 4:49 pm
In this situation the kids will be sleeping. It makes my husband and I uncomfortable (and my teenage sister who's here too). So I can't use the "not in front of the kids" line which I use whenever they're around
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amother




Peach


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 5:08 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
In this situation the kids will be sleeping. It makes my husband and I uncomfortable (and my teenage sister who's here too). So I can't use the "not in front of the kids" line which I use whenever they're around


I dont have advice for you but I have a relative with BPD who gossips all shabbos long by the meals whenever she is by us. Its very hard to say anything because of how sensitive she is. One wrong word and ill be the x list for the rest of time ...
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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 5:38 pm
This isn't that extreme at all.

They're sweet and friendly, haven't seen them in about a year so we're excited to have them over but using four letter words is so normal to them that they don't even feel the need to be careful. It's something I'm not used to and makes me very uncomfortable.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 5:56 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
This isn't that extreme at all.

They're sweet and friendly, haven't seen them in about a year so we're excited to have them over but using four letter words is so normal to them that they don't even feel the need to be careful. It's something I'm not used to and makes me very uncomfortable.


after you hear the first 'four letter word' turn to you dh and say "oh - opps - I think we forget to tell them".. dh "right" you "we're trying to up the holiness of our house - so we're trying to keep out the four letter words... can you help?"
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Kiwi13




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 6:17 pm
I gesture toward my kids and lightheartedly whisper, “little ears, big mouth!”
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singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 6:23 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
after you hear the first 'four letter word' turn to you dh and say "oh - opps - I think we forget to tell them".. dh "right" you "we're trying to up the holiness of our house - so we're trying to keep out the four letter words... can you help?"


This sounds extremely pretentious . I'm not sure how to say it. But not like this.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 6:26 pm
singleagain wrote:
This sounds extremely pretentious . I'm not sure how to say it. But not like this.


Well apparently - "Please don't swear in my house" won't work for OP.
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naturalmom5




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Aug 16 2019, 6:45 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do you politely ask a guest to refrain from using coarse language in front of your family? I'm hosting relatives and very uncomfortable with the amount of curse words they use in casual conversation

What the * is the * problem
You just say yo***
Cut the ** trash talk
It ** makes me ** uncomfortable
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Aug 17 2019, 1:23 pm
amother [ Ginger ] wrote:
One of my toddlers first words was the F word. It really bothered me. So even if they don’t speak much, they pick up what they hear.

I’d say I don’t want my kids learning those words, (as opposed to “speaking”)


DD started saying the F word at 22 months. Surprised

Apparently, when I wasn't in the car, and her dad was driving her somewhere, he swears like a sailor at other drivers. He didn't ever swear around me, so I was surprised when she popped up with it. I had to teach her dad to mind his mouth whenever she was in the car. He can swear all he wants when he's alone.
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