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Drama at the Checkout Counter

 
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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 12:14 am
I'm in my mid 30s, a mom (B"H), and I'm growing more sensitive to the plight of others over the years.

I shop in a small-ish grocery store near me because it's super convenient. There are about 5 checkout people, most of whom are nice, but 1 of whom has a horrible, snarky attitude. Once, I made a joke and she got really offended. No amount of apologies would help. She had so much attitude that I stopped going to her lane. Let's call her "Beth".

Today, I had a choice between her and a very sweet young man, "Joe". Joe is always friendly and polite, so it was a no-brainer. I wanted to pay a bill, and Joe told me to go to Beth because he isn't sure how to do it. Being that I've paid many a bill before, I told him it's a really simple transaction and not to be worried. He again tried to convince me to go to Beth. Given my history with her, I asked him if he could just call her over and ask her how to do it. He looked at me and said, "I try not to talk to Beth. She's always mean to me."

Now, my heart broke for this poor kid. He is so sweet, relatively new, and is basically putting his life back together (I assume from drugs, given the conversations I have had with him, but not 100% sure - but it's obvious he's had a rough past). I was so, so upset for him, on his behalf, that this horrible Beth is making his work environment so difficult.

Over the years I have had to fight back my urge to write an anonymous letter to the owner complaining about my own issues with Beth. She really is rude and does a lot of things that are unprofessional (talk on the phone while checking out, etc.). But I never did, because I didn't want to get her in trouble.

But now I'm so mad. I'm mad for Joe (who happens to have the same name as my baby, so maybe I'm drawn to him somehow), and I'm mad for all co-workers who have their days, months, and years ruined by their evil colleagues.

I put this in manners and etiquette because I so, so badly want to write a letter to the owner, who's a really nice guy. But I don't want him to just talk to Beth, because then she'll know that Joe complained to someone and she'll be even ruder.

WWYD?
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Einikel




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 12:17 am
Maybe just mention your complaints about Beth without mentioning Joe
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amother




Sienna


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 12:57 am
For all you know, Beth is the owner's sister, and he hired her because she's going through a terrible time in her life. None of which makes it ok for her to be mean, but it does make it harder to complain.

You can tell the owner that you love shopping in the store but you avoid Beth's aisle because she's so unfriendly, and you know that her attitude affects others. Leave Joe's name out of things.
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DrMom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:26 am
All the "drama" here is coming from you. You seem *way* too emotionally invested in the lives of your grocery store cashiers than you should be

You project your work experiences onto their work dynamics, sympathize with cashiers who share a name with your son, dream up dramatic backstories about drug addiction.

You should have just paid your bill with Beth and not started confiding in Joe about her.

That said, if Beth is acting unprofessionally with *you*, you can certainly complain to the store manager. Consider just avoiding her when possible. Sounds like a small neighborhood store where you shop frequently.


Last edited by DrMom on Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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creditcards




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:32 am
DrMom wrote:
You seem *way* too emotionally invested in the lives of your grocery store cashiers than you should Be: You project your work experiences onto their work dynamics, sympathize with cashiers who share a name with your son, dream up dramatic backstories about drug addiction.

You should have just paid your bill with Beth and not started confiding in Joe about her.

That said, if Beth is acting unprofessionally with *you*, you can certainly complain to the store manager. Consider just avoiding her when possible. Sounds like a small neighborhood store where you shop frequently.


Why is she more invested than she should be? She seems like a caring women who cares about other people.
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imasinger




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 7:40 am
Dear owner,

I've been shopping at your store for approximately X length of time. For the most part, I really appreciate having you nearby!

I have hesitated to speak on this issue, but I finally decided I needed to say something. All your cashiers are helpful and courteous, except one -- "Beth", who is so abrasive that I'll stand on a longer line to avoid dealing with her, or sometimes choose a different store. I have noted that behavior, not just with myself, but with other customers and employees as well.

I wonder if it's possible for you to watch what's going on, and decide if you want to do anything.

Sincerely,
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amother




Purple


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 8:07 am
I sometimes shop in a store that has around 4-5 check out options.
One older woman who never married works at one register. At first she seemed pleasant. Then I realized that she is obsessive about the groceries that get put down on her counter. She yells if you don’t follow how she wants you to unload your cart. She insists that all frozen things get put down first. She yells that she only wants dairy items next... heaven forbid if you have an overflowing cart and think you already emptied the dairy items only to find a few yogurts later on!!
I learned very quickly to avoid her.
I also learned that the owner of the store tends to hire strange people who would otherwise have a hard time finding a job.
Many of these people have no social skills whatsoever.
I really only think about it when I’m checking out. Once I’m on my way home it’s forgotten.
If a cashiers behavior would effect me for the rest of the day, I would either speak to the store manager or send a letter.
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nchr




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Aug 21 2019, 8:11 am
creditcards wrote:
Why is she more invested than she should be? She seems like a caring women who cares about other people.


Because it is not normal to become emotionally involved in strangers' lives. Nor is it normal to fantasize about what strangers have or have not been through. It is also inappropriate for cashiers to be divulging this kind of information during work hours or on the job. If OP has an issue with Beth, complain to the management, but leave Joe out of it. For all you know, Joe could be penalized for having spoken to you, etc.
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