Chinuch tips | Imamother

chasdie Hashem

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 3:47 pm

Hi
Need good short practical tips from EXPERIENCEd moms over age 35 plus,:
How to be mechanics child,so child should WANT to listen to mother & obey happily???
No new methods & courses....plain Yiddish mamas ideas

thunderstorm

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 3:59 pm

Give your child lots and lots of POSITIVE reinforcement. Every good thing they do and all good behavior should be acknowledged . It’s much easier for us as parents to give negative reinforcement, by punishing and scolding when they misbehave and we take it for granted when they behave. But they need praise for behaving too.

mha3484

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:02 pm

Behavior is communication. If a kid is giving you a hard time, the are HAVING a hard time them self. If you get to the root of the behavior many many issues can be dealt with in a way that suits everyone's needs.

Mommyg8

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:57 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

This, 1000%!!!

Give compliments as much as possible. I mean REAL compliments, not fake ones. (Someone posted on imamother a while ago - Chani is breathing nicely, that just cracked me up). Give lots of love and attention. Don't make too many rules. Learn what's developmentally appropriate, and don't expect more than the child is capable of. Some children mature faster than others, so keep that in mind, and try not to compare. Use prizes and positive reinforcement as much as possible. Say things in a positive way - instead of - Chani, time to go to bed, you can say Chani, as soon as you are in pajamas (and brushed your teeth and whatever) I'll read you a story, or I'll give you a hug and a kiss, or ill give you a star on your chart, or whatever it is that you do...

There will still be times that your child won't listen, but they'll definitely be much less as your child will automatically want to listen (most of the time).

unexpected

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 7:04 pm

What you expect is what you get... communicate your requests clearly and respectfully. Don't make questions out of commands. (Ie. Please bring me xyz instead of can you please) Say thank you
If a child ignores remind them that they have an obligation to obey. If they are not near you, don't yell across the house, stand up and go talk to them gently

chasdie Hashem

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 3:22 am

Great tips thank you
What’s with child that as much real love he’s gettimg ,he has his own mindset & just makes himself deaf..ttly ignored & only literally holding his hand & strictly saying it ,”we are going upstairs NOW,& getting dressed....” will help-no if u want & buts...
Wish he’d listen when speaking calmly..

dankbar

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 2:59 am

that's ok. Some kids only need direct words, no explanations, reasoning because they will always come up with some better answer. Simple, direct because I said so, is best with them.
You're doing great! He needs to see that you mean business!