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Family complains nursing takes too long
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amother




Blush


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 10:41 am
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
Sheesh amother blush, why are you getting so worked up? Calm down!! Even a veteran mom can learn new things. Every child is different.


your posts were condescending - that's why I was getting worked up.
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amother




Navy


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 3:03 pm
Surprised at some of the answers- there are many reasons mommy may not be available (work hobbies exhaustion...)and to nurse a baby is one of the best ones I can imagine- I’d address any “jealousy”by giving them other treats and attention at different times when not nursing. Make times for one on one with the kids I’d hope your mother could understand.
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mig100




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 3:18 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Baby takes priority- I


I've seen this attitude in real life and I honestly just don't understand.

Why?
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amother




Peach


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 3:24 pm
I nurse and do not give bottles. Most of my kids would nurse 20-40 minutes. Everyone would have to understand. I could still read a book, do puzzles... With the younger kids. I always made sure to nurse in the living room so I'm around the kids.
At 9.5 months, even though the baby has solid, some babies do take longer to nurse. There is nothing won't with your baby. The others can wait.

Can your children be complaining because they hear your mother complaining? Is she egging them on?
If yes, consider telling her not to come when you will be feeding your baby.
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amother




Navy


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 4:46 pm
baby takes priority in the sense that the older we are the more we can wait and learn to manage
a baby who needs to nurse, needs to nurse, it is not a good option or developmentally appropriate for the baby "to learn to wait"
it does not mean the other kids are not as super important and need to have their needs addressed; it just means the baby's needs are more immediate in that only the mother who is exclusively nursing can nurse baby

if the kids are old enough to complain, not to mention the mother, then they sound old enough to learn that this is the way it is, this baby takes this time to nurse for now, and validate and explore other ways to give them what they need. the "complaint" sounds like something id help them grow out of and learn to express what they need and want "more attention, more mommy time...." whatever it is they want, and explore appropriate ways to give that within the context of reality that this baby nurses like this for now. It is temporary.
And something just strikes me as odd that Op's mother complains about this. Makes me wonder whats going on and encourage Op that she needs to stand her ground albeit lovingly.
I mean L'havdil what if a kid needed a feeding tube chas v shalom and mommy needed to attend to that or other needs of an SN child...yes I'd use this wonderful opportunity to help them develop empathy patience and gratitude -- B "H baby eats well and mommy can feed him and we can have babies and yes sometimes thats hard and we learn productive ways to manage and sometimes put others needs first. We are a family. While its normal for kids to complain it is our job as parents to lovingly set the rules and help them adapt and grow.
Get them special treats or activities to do when you are busy with baby.
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amother




Cyan


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 4:54 pm
Just to add to what Navy wrote- when my kids complain that the baby gets something they want (sleeping in my bed, going in the stroller, always sitting on the middle row of the van lol) I remind them that they had those privileges too when they were babies. And I remind them of the privileges they have now that they're older, that the baby does not have.
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amother




Navy


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 4:55 pm
So important and beautiful meaningful helpful and true Cyan!

when the big kids get treats /activities/privileges we say "baby wants that too! Baby wants to do that too. Oh sorry baby you are not old enough yet. Its only for the big kids! You have to wait till you are bigger!" the big kids get a huge smile and naturally they love this.
It also reminds them of their reality and reflects it in the wider context of their position in the family and baby's even when baby seems to be getting 'more" attention etc.
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eyenme




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 6:28 pm
I agree that baby takes priority. Can you nurse while covered up in the same room to help ease the complainers?
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amother




Brown


Post  Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:44 pm
My son always nursed for a decent amount of time. I'm kind of shocked at the answers that a baby "should" be nursing for a shorter amount of time when they're 9 months old. Should the OP explain that to her baby??? Just take him off after 15 minutes? Maybe that child finds in comforting.
To the OP- answer our questions about what your children are so annoyed about- are they wanting you to help them with things that you aren't able to do since you are nursing the baby? Give us more details so we can offer better advice.
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