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Forum
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:12 pm
So someone called me to ask if I can make supper for her sister who had a baby over two weeks ago. This is for someone who comes from a large family so I'm sure she has had plenty help already. I told her that I'm going away for a few days so it won't work this week, though I will call her next week if it works for me.
She told me that next week is sorted since people are back from vacation and will be happy to make though can I make anything for Shabbos this week? I told her that I have lots of kugels in my freezer and I would be happy to send some. She wasn't happy with the idea of frozen food and she said that perhaps if she doesn't have from anyone else then she'll get back to me.
Is it so bad to get frozen food? I always cook in big batches, I don't have time to make a completely fresh Shabbos every week, and especially not during vacation time when I'm juggling working from home and looking after the kids. I'm considered a good cook (if I may say so myself) and no one at my table has ever been bothered that it comes from the freezer. As long is it's wrapped up well in freezer and reheated properly before serving, you really can't tell much of a difference.
I was left with a bad taste after this call. Is it so bad to offer such food to someone who had a baby? Why do I need to give better than I would serve my own guests?
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BetsyTacy
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:16 pm
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I am 100% on your side OP.
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simba
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:18 pm
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No it’s not bad. It’s gracious of you to offer from the stock you’ve made for yourself.
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amother
Teal
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:19 pm
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She was way out of line. There is nothing wrong with sending food from the freezer, and it's a little off to call someone to ask them to make a meal.
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:21 pm
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She might have interpreted that as meaning that you are not willing to give, that you are only offering because you feel that you have to.
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baby12x
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:23 pm
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Its 100% ok to offer and send food from the freezer.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:27 pm
| amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote: | | She might have interpreted that as meaning that you are not willing to give, that you are only offering because you feel that you have to. |
No she left off that if I see that I can do anything for Shabbos I should let her know.
These are very very simple plain people who really don't do fancy AT ALL. That's why I was so surprised by her response.
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Rappel
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:28 pm
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Frozen food is the best. That way, they can use it when they need it, once the meal train dries up.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:30 pm
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What's wrong with food from the freezer? It's still perfectly fresh. I've sent food from the freezer plenty of times. As long as you don't send the food frozen & it's warmed properly, you can't tell. I always cook bulk and stock my freezer. The caller was way out of line. Beggars can't be choosers.
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amother
Puce
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:31 pm
Some people don't know how to freeze food, so if it's from the freezer it's likely to be freezer-burned and gross.
Such people are probably unaware that frozen food can be delicious when frozen and defrosted properly. In fact, they would probably never know it was frozen if you don't tell them!
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watergirl
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:38 pm
Totally perfect to take food from your freezer. I honestly wouldn’t have even told her where was coming from, I would’ve just brought it over. In fact, when I make meatballs for my family, I make double and freeze half so if someone needs a meal, I have food ready to go. I heat it up, make fresh rice or pasta, add a vegetable and done.
This woman is 2 weeks pp and has week 3 lined up - how long will she continue getting meals for? Assuming she and baby are ok, 2 weeks is standard where I live. Maybe a spin off...
I also want to add - its 2019. Mealtrain is the best thing ever. Totally eliminates the stress and pressure one feels when put on the spot with a phone call like this.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:40 pm
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Rappel, I wouldn't send the food frozen. I warm it up before sending.
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:43 pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking kugels and stuff from your freezer.
I actually learned to freeze kugel after the daughter of a popular caterer told my friend that they make potatoe kugel and freeze and sell it every Friday defrosted and nobody has a clue it was frozen.
Food that is properly stored and frozen tastes as perfect as fresh. I’m a picky eater but I learned how to freeze properly and the food is always amazing.
I would not want to assist people that have these issues.
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amother
Plum
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:48 pm
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If it was frozen fresh and you have good methods for reheating so it tastes fresh, just deliver it hot. I wouldn't even think to discuss it, just have told the organizer I'll put something together for her.
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Rappel
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 1:53 pm
| amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote: | | Rappel, I wouldn't send the food frozen. I warm it up before sending. |
Depends on the person.
If I know the family wants the lunch that day, then I'll send it hot, of course.
But OP mentioned that the recipient is already receiving a ton of food. When that happens, I offer to bring over some quick frozen dinners, and stock the freezer for all the times you need a healthy 5-minute meal. People often appreciate that more than another pile of aluminium foil in the fridge.
Last edited by Rappel on Sun, Aug 25 2019, 2:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Mistyrose
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 2:00 pm
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You've got a good point Rappel.
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 2:09 pm
When DD was born, I got tons of frozen food. When she was 6 weeks old, and in full blown colic, I was beyond exhausted. I was SO glad to be able to pull out a container of frozen lentil soup and just heat it up. I was so grateful, I can still almost taste it, and I can tell you exactly who made it for me. That was 16 years ago, so that tells you something about the impact you can make in someone's life.
Now, if you want to send me ice cream from your freezer, I'm more than happy to take it off your hands!
 
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amother
Wheat
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 2:12 pm
That was pretty ungracious on the caller's part.
If food was needed that badly, it should have been accepted with thanks.
Also if the sister has all that time on the phone to make calls to track down only the best and freshest food, she should have enough time to put some potatoes in the food processor and make a kugel for her sister. Imo. Especially since it sounds like they've had other offers for other meals.
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chocolatecake
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 2:14 pm
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I would for sure send food from my freezer. I would warm it up so it’s delivered hot and not say anything.
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zaq
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Sun, Aug 25 2019, 2:25 pm
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The woman was just plain rude. When you ask for a chessed you don’t start imposing conditions on that chessed. You did nothing wrong.
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