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Rules are made to be broken!
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Rules are meant to be broken
agree in general
 14%  [ 18 ]
disagree in general
 85%  [ 110 ]
Total Votes : 128


yo'ma




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 8:06 am
I originally put this in chit chat, but changed it here because of the questions and here you can be anon.

Do you agree with that statement or not? This is in the general sense, not each and individual rule. What rules have you broken? Do you regret breaking them and what if any was the consequence? What about your dh? Do you think it's more of a female/male thing or just a personality thing?
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amother




Apricot


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 8:07 am
nope
most rules are there for a good reason
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Tzutzie




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 8:13 am
I disagree with that. But my 4 yo totally thinks that rules are meant to be broken.
Bh she doesn't open the door when I'm unavailable. But other than that? Rules don't mean anything. Lol.
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amother




Gold


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 8:53 am
I don't believe they're meant to be broken, but I do believe some rules are more important than others. I also think that relationships are more important than rules. Nobody likes that person who's just a big stickler and always tattling over every little thing.
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zaq




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 8:59 am
Depends on the “rule”. If it’s just a matter of “we’ve always done it this way” then go ahead, break it. No reason not to wear a white hat and shoes on Pesach (which is always before Memorial Day) if the weather is fine. Yes, that is no longer a “rule” thank goodness. No reason not to marry a man who is younger or shorter than you if he suits you in the ways that count. Go ahead: eat dessert first.

OTOH some rules, like putting your child in an age-appropriate car seat or admitting to school only children who have been vaccinated or forbidding marriage below a certain age ate definitely not there to be broken.
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amother




Chartreuse


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 8:59 am
I can't think of any rule in place that is actually intended to be broken. What rule might this be? The speed limit? Taxes? Paying for things we buy? Not stealing someone's stuff? What type of rule is meant to be broken?
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sequoia




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 9:03 am
This is obviously true of some rules, and obviously untrue of others.

Basically, what zaq said.
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Zehava




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 9:04 am
What are rules?
I live with the motto that rules are meant to be broken or better yet never made in the first place.
Except where safety and health is concerned
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amother




Smokey


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 9:35 am
Zehava wrote:
What are rules?
I live with the motto that rules are meant to be broken or better yet never made in the first place.
Except where safety and health is concerned


Must be a challenge to have that philosophy and be frum.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 9:36 am
I have looked both ways, and dashed across a street because I didn't want to go all the way down to the cross walk.

On the other hand, if you are driving you had better be stopping for red lights! Don't speed in school zones, etc. Common sense stuff.

I have been known to cook fish in milk. I was shocked to hear that this wasn't supposed to be done. How am I supposed to make New England cod and potato chowder? (Soy products just aren't the same as heavy cream.)

All humans pick and choose. We have free will, and logic, and we are thinking creatures who like to figure stuff out. We're also very curious, and want to know what will happen if you stick a knife in the electrical outlet. Surprised
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miami85




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 10:13 am
There are personalities that like to challenge authority, and in general childhood is about testing boundaries, those who challenge authority test boundaries even more. I find that its a sign of intelligence when children test boundaries because it means that they are thinking "outside the box". If no one pushed the limits, tested boundaries, challenged authority, then innovation would never happen. It is incredibly frustrating as a parent when this is happening, but hopefully in the long run they use their intelligence for good.

I wouldn't say that rules are meant to be broken, but rather that rules are meant to be understood for their background and purpose.

If you understand traffic rules, then you also can understand when it might be ok to cross on a red light and why a police car/ambulance can go faster than a car and through a red light.

Parents understand that a good night's sleep is important, and that's why they enforce it, whereas children don't have that understanding.
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 10:22 am
Depends on rules. When schools are putting out ridiculous rules on tiny humans, in name of tznius/ halacha to be kept at all times even when they are not in school, how is it expected to be followed. I was following all rules in school, for my toddler, but when I came to pick up my dgtr from school, I saw it wasn't even followed in school & not enforced. So why would I be the only mom who doesn't put on denim/denim look dresses, red dresses/shoes, metallic sandals in daycamp, for 3 yr old, when half the class are wearing them.
In winter, when my dgtr was not 3 yet, rule was no pants only dresses/tights I followed. I come to school I see half the kids with tops & leggings.
She is in pre-nursery, rule no socks, short sleeves past 3. One day I see, her class wearing dresses & tights, but pre nursery that opened up few months later, that might be drop younger, all are wearing socks & short sleeves, they didn't check there who is 3 yet & who not.
When rules are unfair & not enforced why follow?
Btw I do believe in school, you need to follow the rules.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 10:24 am
Zehava wrote:
What are rules?
I live with the motto that rules are meant to be broken or better yet never made in the first place.
Except where safety and health is concerned


Totally respectful question, but how can you live within the strictures of Orthodoxy if you don't conform to rules?

I can probably come up with a good reason to break almost any rule, but that doesn't mean that rules should be broken. Except, of course, for the most arbitrary rules. Or unjust ones (eg, when segregation was the law in the US).
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pizza4




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:10 am
I don't think rules are meant to be broken, but lots of them should not be rules at all.
(Dh calls them laws, lol)
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amother




Babyblue


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:12 am
Most rules shouldn't have to be enforced or made in the first place. When there is an enviroment of trust, love, and respect, people behave well.

I am a bit non-conformist. I hate rules and if people make them, I start to feel rebellious. Why? Because they are insinuating that I am incapable of making good choices without being forced by an external motivation. Been this way since I was a little kid.
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iyar




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:13 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
I have looked both ways, and dashed across a street because I didn't want to go all the way down to the cross walk.

On the other hand, if you are driving you had better be stopping for red lights! Don't speed in school zones, etc. Common sense stuff.

I have been known to cook fish in milk. I was shocked to hear that this wasn't supposed to be done. How am I supposed to make New England cod and potato chowder? (Soy products just aren't the same as heavy cream.)

All humans pick and choose. We have free will, and logic, and we are thinking creatures who like to figure stuff out. We're also very curious, and want to know what will happen if you stick a knife in the electrical outlet. Surprised


There are rules and there are rules.
Regarding your delicious chowder- this is a Halachic discussion I'm not fully equipped to explain. I will say though that it's a discussion somewhere in Shulchan Aruch (shows you how extensive my knowledge is) whether or not eating fish and dairy together is permissible. Most people I know will eat your chowder (if you invite them). I know some sephardic people who don't eat fish with dairy (no idea if it's all sephardim) and I know some chassidim who don't (I know it's not all chassidim). If your family holds that it's assur then this is the same as fish and meat and falls into the category of one of those rules you're not breaking (at least not intentionally).
We have free will and logic, but we all acknowledge the superiority of the knowledge of the One who gave us our free will and planted the logic in our brains.
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ShishKabob




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:17 am
I don't think rules are meant to be broken.
I believe that to every rule there is an exception or there should be an exception.
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imasoftov




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:40 am
iyar wrote:
Regarding your delicious chowder- this is a Halachic discussion I'm not fully equipped to explain. I will say though that it's a discussion somewhere in Shulchan Aruch (shows you how extensive my knowledge is) whether or not eating fish and dairy together is permissible.

It isn't in the Shulchan Aruch. R Yosef Karo, the author of the Shulchan Aruch, wrote that fish and dairy is prohibited in the Beit Yosef, his commentary on the Tur, but did not include it in the Shulchan Aruch. For this reason, and that the source he referred to in the Beit Yosef is about fish and meat, not fish and dairy, those who permit fish and dairy say this is a printer's error. Some communities prohibit any mixture of fish and dairy, some restrict it to particular forms of dairy, and some entirely permit it.

People should ask their own rabbi what to do.
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Zehava




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 11:43 am
SixOfWands wrote:
Totally respectful question, but how can you live within the strictures of Orthodoxy if you don't conform to rules?

I can probably come up with a good reason to break almost any rule, but that doesn't mean that rules should be broken. Except, of course, for the most arbitrary rules. Or unjust ones (eg, when segregation was the law in the US).

I guess I didn’t really think of Halacha as rules
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amother




Blonde


Post  Mon, Aug 26 2019, 12:20 pm
Of course rules are not made to be broken. My opinion about whether or not the rule is good or fair is irrelevant. When I break rules, it's because I've determined that the risk of consequence is worth taking.
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