Discipline after the fact

amother

Mon, Aug 26 2019, 5:45 pm

All my kids are home this week, unfortunately both me and dh have to work, so we have a trusted sitter watching them. Sitter called me about an hour ago to let me know that she caught my 3 year old doing something very dangerous. Bh, she caught him in time and handled the situation appropriately, including disciplining him.

DS3 knows full well that he is not allowed to do this dangerous thing. He's tried it before and both me and dh have talked to him sternly about it and disciplined him when he's attempted it. We all know to keep an eye out for him doing this specific thing and if you ask him, he will parrot exactly "never do X, it's very dangerous." He's generally pretty good about not doing dangerous things that he's been told are dangerous, but for whatever reason, avoiding this particular thing eludes him. So of course, I'm freaking out that he tried to do the thing he knows full well not to do yet AGAIN.

So like I said, the sitter handled the situation appropriately and disciplined him in the moment. By the time I get home, it'll be hours after the fact. I definitely plan to talk to him and remind him "we don't do x because it's very dangerous" but I'm wondering if I should bring up that I know he tried to do it today and that I'm upset? Just say it again as a reminder because he needs reminding? Discipline him again so it comes from me?

Please stick to the topic at hand. I'm not concerned about the sitter (she handled the situation well, and the same thing has happened under both my watch and dh's.) I'm also specifically being vague about what it was because I'm not looking for preventative tips (I may start a different thread on that because we've taken every precaution we can think of, and this kid still tried to find a way to do this). Also not interested in any armchair diagnoses. I just want to know what to do today, regarding the situation that happened today. Thanks.

ectomorph

Mon, Aug 26 2019, 7:25 pm

at that age the impulse control is not yet there. You need to make it impossible for him to do X thing. Once you know it is an issue it needs to become something that you watch out for and prevent him from ever having the chance to do it.

My kids are extremely intense and of this way and my house is fortified against toddlers. If it wasn't I would constantly be yelling. There are outlet covers on all the outlets, the oven refrigerator and all drawers and cabinets are unlocked, I keep plastic bags where they can't reach, lock doors anywhere they aren't currently. There should be nothing that your son can do that is dangerous that you know he already has a tendency to do.