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Will anyone prevent Ateres Tziporah girls from going OTD?
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amother




Vermilion


Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 8:18 am
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
making a living is acceptable.

Why isn't it the Lakewood vaad's responsibility? Don't they take it upon themselves to look out for the Jewish interests of Lakewood?


Not on the loss of others.
Not promising schools that don’t exist.

ETA: I spoke to my daughters school why they don’t open a high school. He said the first year will cost 1-2 million over tuition. Unless someone gives a large chunk It isn’t happening. Who is funding all these new schools? Existing schools aren’t making it in internal funding.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Tue, Sep 03 2019, 2:16 pm
https://www.thelakewoodscoop.c......html
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amother




Copper


Post  Tue, Sep 03 2019, 6:02 pm
I decided to send to what is known as a more relaxed beis yaakov elementary school, it was has smaller classes and was known to be very warm. I also knew lots of beautiful frum families that sent their daughters there. People warned me that not all the families are so yeshivish, and I felt that this was fear mongering and that a little diversity was ok and nothing to be so fearful of. A few years later, I realize how mistaken I was. There are girls in the class that have their own iPhones, they sing songs with inappropriate lyrics and teach them to our girls. There was a birthday party recently and my daughter came home shocked - it was like a dance party with all the raunchy moves and intense lyrics. The family was also not dressed tzniously. I never imagined that a family from our school would host a birthday party like that. When I spoke to the principal she said they are aware of the problem, and that she will (again) speak to the mother. There have been no changes. The girls in the class show off to each other about what movies they've seen. Basically the culture in the class is that the "cool" girls are like this, and the innocent girls from good families are trying to copy them. My daughter is staying strong but it's not been easy for her. This is a really shame because she's a good girl in a beis yaakov school. The Bottom line is that its really not so simple to bring girls into a frum class that come from families who don't share the values of the school. Maybe the more sheltered girls will influence them, or maybe it will be the other way around, like it is in our school.
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MnM1130




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 03 2019, 7:26 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I decided to send to what is known as a more relaxed beis yaakov elementary school, it was has smaller classes and was known to be very warm. I also knew lots of beautiful frum families that sent their daughters there. People warned me that not all the families are so yeshivish, and I felt that this was fear mongering and that a little diversity was ok and nothing to be so fearful of. A few years later, I realize how mistaken I was. There are girls in the class that have their own iPhones, they sing songs with inappropriate lyrics and teach them to our girls. There was a birthday party recently and my daughter came home shocked - it was like a dance party with all the raunchy moves and intense lyrics. The family was also not dressed tzniously. I never imagined that a family from our school would host a birthday party like that. When I spoke to the principal she said they are aware of the problem, and that she will (again) speak to the mother. There have been no changes. The girls in the class show off to each other about what movies they've seen. Basically the culture in the class is that the "cool" girls are like this, and the innocent girls from good families are trying to copy them. My daughter is staying strong but it's not been easy for her. This is a really shame because she's a good girl in a beis yaakov school. The Bottom line is that its really not so simple to bring girls into a frum class that come from families who don't share the values of the school. Maybe the more sheltered girls will influence them, or maybe it will be the other way around, like it is in our school.


Yes. That's how it works. When there is a balanced class there are always kids more to left and more to right. I went to schools like that and I stayed strong all the years. And it has helped my in my later life... Maybe these days are even harder to stay strong but as parents that's our job and not the school. And ull see how much stronger your child will be as apposed to every single child in the class the same exact sheltered and when they walk away....they don't know what hit them and how to hold themselves.
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amother




Tangerine


Post  Tue, Sep 03 2019, 7:35 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I decided to send to what is known as a more relaxed beis yaakov elementary school, it was has smaller classes and was known to be very warm. I also knew lots of beautiful frum families that sent their daughters there. People warned me that not all the families are so yeshivish, and I felt that this was fear mongering and that a little diversity was ok and nothing to be so fearful of. A few years later, I realize how mistaken I was. There are girls in the class that have their own iPhones, they sing songs with inappropriate lyrics and teach them to our girls. There was a birthday party recently and my daughter came home shocked - it was like a dance party with all the raunchy moves and intense lyrics. The family was also not dressed tzniously. I never imagined that a family from our school would host a birthday party like that. When I spoke to the principal she said they are aware of the problem, and that she will (again) speak to the mother. There have been no changes. The girls in the class show off to each other about what movies they've seen. Basically the culture in the class is that the "cool" girls are like this, and the innocent girls from good families are trying to copy them. My daughter is staying strong but it's not been easy for her. This is a really shame because she's a good girl in a beis yaakov school. The Bottom line is that its really not so simple to bring girls into a frum class that come from families who don't share the values of the school. Maybe the more sheltered girls will influence them, or maybe it will be the other way around, like it is in our school.

Let me tell you a secret - you will find such girls in every.single.bais.yakov. I was shocked when my daughter told me what girls in her grade were up to - class chats on their own iphones (no phone school policy), tik tok apps, internet access, etc. Once my shock wore off, I realized that instead of being angry at them and their parents, I'd rather talk and discuss it all with my daughter.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Tue, Sep 03 2019, 7:42 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I decided to send to what is known as a more relaxed beis yaakov elementary school, it was has smaller classes and was known to be very warm. I also knew lots of beautiful frum families that sent their daughters there. People warned me that not all the families are so yeshivish, and I felt that this was fear mongering and that a little diversity was ok and nothing to be so fearful of. A few years later, I realize how mistaken I was. There are girls in the class that have their own iPhones, they sing songs with inappropriate lyrics and teach them to our girls. There was a birthday party recently and my daughter came home shocked - it was like a dance party with all the raunchy moves and intense lyrics. The family was also not dressed tzniously. I never imagined that a family from our school would host a birthday party like that. When I spoke to the principal she said they are aware of the problem, and that she will (again) speak to the mother. There have been no changes. The girls in the class show off to each other about what movies they've seen. Basically the culture in the class is that the "cool" girls are like this, and the innocent girls from good families are trying to copy them. My daughter is staying strong but it's not been easy for her. This is a really shame because she's a good girl in a beis yaakov school. The Bottom line is that its really not so simple to bring girls into a frum class that come from families who don't share the values of the school. Maybe the more sheltered girls will influence them, or maybe it will be the other way around, like it is in our school.


I can relate to this.
We sent our son to a school that has an open door policy. They rarely turn anyone away. Unfortunately when our son was struggling with his school work he decided to stop trying and he hooked up with boys who got into trouble and influenced him in a terrible way. At first I didn’t realize. When he called me one day from school I was happy that he told me a boy invited him and he was going home with him after school. Little did I know that this family gave their children access to unfiltered internet. It was downhill from there. The images he saw (p*rn) remain in his head and he is unable to focus on his studies. This group introduced him to smoking (at 12!!!!! Years old!). We have sent him for therapy but we still didn’t get our boy back. He is so messed up now, angry and confused.
It’s not so simple to take in all kinds into a school. It puts many children at risk. Not all kids are strong enough to hold on to the values from home when they are struggling to be accepted by peers.
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amother




Copper


Post  Wed, Sep 04 2019, 5:10 am
Thanks for the feedback and the insight into my situation with my daughters school. The warning above is really important. I have to carefully check into which friends she goes to after school. It's also true that if we handle this correctly it can help her be stronger and more equipped to handle the world. I just want to correct my wording in the previous post, I just re-read it and it and I shouldn't have said "the innocent girls from GOOD families" That sounds very 'holier then thou' -and not what I really meant to say. There are plenty of GOOD families that are more modern too.
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 04 2019, 9:17 am
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
Let me tell you a secret - you will find such girls in every.single.bais.yakov. I was shocked when my daughter told me what girls in her grade were up to - class chats on their own iphones (no phone school policy), tik tok apps, internet access, etc. Once my shock wore off, I realized that instead of being angry at them and their parents, I'd rather talk and discuss it all with my daughter.


I agree with this. You can find all types even in Bais Faiga. The difference is in the percentages of each different type, and what the majority of girls look like.

After that, alot has to do with the personality of individual girls and what they are attracted to.
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amother




Periwinkle


Post  Thu, Sep 05 2019, 8:46 pm

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amother




Pewter


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 5:46 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We all know that kids without a school causes serious issues, down the line.
(It can break someone's heart, and Im not even a Lakewood person). All they need is a few (or one) wealthy goodhearted people to get together and work this out in a way that satisfies all. And please lets not be judgmental before Rosh Hashana, with blaming... because they... and they...so now.. Innocent kids dont have a school.

This is on todays Ateres Tziporah Whatsapp group:


So Wednesday came and went. Apprently Tuesday night was a meeting trying to get a bunch of schools in town to take our girls. Apparently (I'm getting this info from third parties) no one wants our girls and basically ever school said we are full and we dont have room to absorb them. While school starting is a week away, you will likely not be seeing a classroom on the first day of school bc if and when the vaad or any powers in town try to do something it will likely be after the holidays or 2 or 3 weeks into school when they have a real count of how bad the problem is. Even if they do the schools in this town are overwhelmed as it is. Even if our names were Kamintsky of Kanivesky, it's no gaurente. These schools most of them have a serious overcrowding issue. The few that may be willing to accept us are not really biting either. Tehillas Chaya Sarah, Bnos Penniah...... how many extra seats do they have akready?

I'm not saying I have the awnsers. I think rebranding a school is a full year worth of long meetings and planning and then it stands a chance we can re launch next year. I have heard from a number of people say, if we had a million dollars....🤔

I had an hour conversation with Mrs. Insel this week. She didn't want me to share this but she has girls calling her all the time asking what they should do for school. It breaks her heart. She has no answers for them. At the same time she said if someone came forward with the missing funds shes confident she could pull through and make it happen. Reality however the school has a very tainted name and a lot of people (donors included) dont want to come to it....

Will something happen before the start of school? I highly doubt it. There are bound to be countless kids at home for a while.

I have made an active decision to send me kid to a school out of Lakewood as it's the only place right now willing to take my daughter and others. People say well I'm glad you have a school. No I don't. If I had a school I wouldn't make my daughter ride 1 hour a day in the car. But I don't have an option. I am desperate like everyone else. I would very much like to see what can be done but from the dozens of conversations it's clear we are not wanted.

The Rosh Yeshivas office actually told someone this week we can arrange Shalom Torah for your kids 😯.... that among other many ridiculous things....

I dont see any major lifeboat soon. I am simply offering if anyone wants a school next week for their kids there is a school and a ride from Tom's River.... it's an hour away and it's a chabad school but they are happy to accept your child. Feel free to DM for more information


How can you be reached?
My sister in law would like to reach you to hear more about it now that its final that nothing new is opening
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chestnut




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 5:47 pm
Oy, this new promised school isn't opening?
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amother




Ruby


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 5:53 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I can relate to this.
We sent our son to a school that has an open door policy. They rarely turn anyone away. Unfortunately when our son was struggling with his school work he decided to stop trying and he hooked up with boys who got into trouble and influenced him in a terrible way. At first I didn’t realize. When he called me one day from school I was happy that he told me a boy invited him and he was going home with him after school. Little did I know that this family gave their children access to unfiltered internet. It was downhill from there. The images he saw (p*rn) remain in his head and he is unable to focus on his studies. This group introduced him to smoking (at 12!!!!! Years old!). We have sent him for therapy but we still didn’t get our boy back. He is so messed up now, angry and confused.
It’s not so simple to take in all kinds into a school. It puts many children at risk. Not all kids are strong enough to hold on to the values from home when they are struggling to be accepted by peers.


My brother was exposed to a lot of p-rn when he was in 8th grade, at a well known NY yeshiva that does NOT have an open door policy at all, in fact they like to be quite choosey. They like to "keep their reputation".

Its everywhere, I really dont think chasing after the more selective schools helps much.
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amother




Magenta


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 6:16 pm
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
How can you be reached?
My sister in law would like to reach you to hear more about it now that its final that nothing new is opening


As of one hour ago, it was not final that nothing was opening.

Btw if nothing opens (or if it does and it doesn’t seem realistic) we will be putting together a (mixed grade) group to do Melamed Academy. Location will be based on the size of the group and as of now I (a parent who also taught many ages for many years) will act as a supervisor (we will be charging a minimal fee-prob about $50/month to cover expenses and a something for my time). Feel free to be in touch for more info 2019atma@gmail.com.
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amother




Silver


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 9:19 am
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I decided to send to what is known as a more relaxed beis yaakov elementary school, it was has smaller classes and was known to be very warm. I also knew lots of beautiful frum families that sent their daughters there. People warned me that not all the families are so yeshivish, and I felt that this was fear mongering and that a little diversity was ok and nothing to be so fearful of. A few years later, I realize how mistaken I was. There are girls in the class that have their own iPhones, they sing songs with inappropriate lyrics and teach them to our girls. There was a birthday party recently and my daughter came home shocked - it was like a dance party with all the raunchy moves and intense lyrics. The family was also not dressed tzniously. I never imagined that a family from our school would host a birthday party like that. When I spoke to the principal she said they are aware of the problem, and that she will (again) speak to the mother. There have been no changes. The girls in the class show off to each other about what movies they've seen. Basically the culture in the class is that the "cool" girls are like this, and the innocent girls from good families are trying to copy them. My daughter is staying strong but it's not been easy for her. This is a really shame because she's a good girl in a beis yaakov school. The Bottom line is that its really not so simple to bring girls into a frum class that come from families who don't share the values of the school. Maybe the more sheltered girls will influence them, or maybe it will be the other way around, like it is in our school.


If every ultra sheltered school would take in 3 such families or tops 1-2 per class these kids would grow in ruchnius. Growing up. We had 2/3 troubled families and now wow these kids now live a more yeshivah sheltered life than me. Point is they were the minority. We also teach our children from a young age how to interact with these type a girls. They might do stuff differently but we stay strong -and they are not non jews either for doing it.

A teacher once told me that sheltered kids whether chasidish or yeshivah dont play with these type of kids because they veiw them as not Jewish eventually they figure it out when they are older and sometimes its alot worse
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amother




Pewter


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 10:39 am
amother [ Magenta ] wrote:
As of one hour ago, it was not final that nothing was opening.

Btw if nothing opens (or if it does and it doesn’t seem realistic) we will be putting together a (mixed grade) group to do Melamed Academy. Location will be based on the size of the group and as of now I (a parent who also taught many ages for many years) will act as a supervisor (we will be charging a minimal fee-prob about $50/month to cover expenses and a something for my time). Feel free to be in touch for more info 2019atma@gmail.com.


Now the new school does seem to be opening.

https://www.thelakewoodscoop.c......html
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chestnut




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 10:47 am
Wow, may it be with hatzlacha!
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 17 2019, 7:46 am
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
Now the new school does seem to be opening.

https://www.thelakewoodscoop.c......html


Any developments?
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allthingsblue




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 17 2019, 2:02 pm
https://thechesedfund.com/ahav.....sroel

This is for anyone who'd like to do something to help the AT girls in the interim. An impromptu school has been set up, but they need funds to pay teachers, supplies etc.
I donated; perhaps some of you can too.
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chestnut




 
 
 


Post  Today at 2:48 pm
Any update with the girls from this school? Are they continuing to study in a shul as was organized by parents or will be placed in other schools?
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