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Changing name

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amother

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:45 am

Did you, (or someone you know), change your name as an adult already settled in a community?
Was it confusing for people? Did it stick? How long did it take you to get used to it? Did the new name take over your old one, or do you now use both? I'm curious - please tell me all about it!

amother

Ecru

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 12:53 pm

Yes, a good friend of mine changed her name and insisted everyone use it. We all got very used to it.

Flip Flops

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 1:12 pm

Yes, I know two ppl who changed their name.
One was when she was still younger, the other one began calling herself by her full name because her MIL had the same name as her.
It was weird and confusing at first, and they did have to deal with loads of stupid comments, but like all things in life we all got used to it in no time at all.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 1:13 pm

Just being curious, why is the name changing? Refuah/Mazel, frum-secular to Jewish name, identify with a different name?????

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 1:27 pm

Quite a few friends and family did this, mostly dropping their secular name for their jewish name.

Chayalle

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 1:51 pm

One of my sisters started using only her first name after she got married. Prior to that she was called by both of her names. It took some time, but we all got used to it. I hardly remember that I once used to call her by both names.

(her 2nd name is same as her MIL's, and her MIL was makpid that she do this.)

amother

Bisque

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:17 pm

I know 3 people who changed their names when they went to get a bracha from R Chaim Kaminetzky. It's so hard for me to remember because I grew up with them as Shira and Ilana. (2 shiras, 1 Ilana). But they introduce themselves as Sara and Ahuva, and that's how everyone know them now.

Chayalle

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:23 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Kanievsky

allthingsblue

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:26 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

p

Why is Ahuva better than Ilana or Shira?
Is it a name from tanach?

nchr

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:38 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

p

Why is Ahuva better than Ilana or Shira?
Is it a name from tanach?

I think (guessing here) because Liba has a mesorah as a name.

amother

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 3:22 pm

Thanks for sharing.
Did they share their feelings on their name change with you?
How did they do it? Big announcement? Just introduced themselves to new people with the new name?
I'm struggling with this, because I could see it making a big stir, and I hate drawing attention to myself..

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 3:39 pm

Oh boy did I ever.

When I became frum/completed my conversion, I started going by my Hebrew name. This was actually a different Hebrew name than my Jewish father had given me at birth, and I had a couple of reasons for not wanting to use it. The one I chose instead was after my great-grandmother.

Then when my husband and I were married three years and had an infertility diagnosis that meant we'd likely never be able to have children, we went to a couple of gedolim for brachos and were told each to add a name. I'll use fake names to explain: I was already Sara Rivka and they told me to add the name Rochel and to make sure that whatever I go by includes it. So I decided to stick it in the middle so that the transition would be easier (calling me Sara Rochel instead of Sara Rivka). So I was Sara Rochel Rivka, but then my rav was like "hold on that wasn't a good idea, change the order" and I'm now Sara Rivka Rochel, introducing myself as Rochel but with plenty of people still who call me Sara Rivka or even my English name. One friend (you're going to know who I am if you're on here, hi!) told me once that she's just reverted to calling me by my English name or else "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Sara Rivka Rochel."

(again, not my real names.)

amother

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 4:34 pm

Oh my! That is quite the story! Is it frustrating for you to have so many names?

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 4:45 pm

Nah, just a little confusing. I pretty much answer to any combination of any of my names, I just have to keep track of what I'm calling myself to whom. Once, someone who knew me as "Rochel" heard me tell a doctor or something I was "Sara" because that IS the first name on my legal documents so of course I'm going to call myself that in that situation, but my friend was like, wait, what should I be calling you?

And I kind of feel silly having changed it around so much, given that my family isn't frum and can't keep track at all. They don't say anything directly, but I would certainly raise an eyebrow if it were reversed, if a non-Jew were like "Hi, you know me as Britney but now please call me Madeline, oh, but some people know me as Britney Jessica Madeline" or whatever.

amother

Plum

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 8:14 pm

I changed my name after I converted to Judaism. I never made a big deal about it, though, because I didn't want to make my family uncomfortable ... so, I have two names. Most people from my previous life call my by my English name, and everyone in my new life as a Jew calls me by my Jewish name. Some people who are very sensitive made the switch, and I really appreciate it.

EsaEinai

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:26 pm

I changed my name per Rav Chaim Kanievskys directive. I’m totally happy with it. I introduce myself by my new name. Everyone basically calls me by it except my family. They can’t make the switch.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:31 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

p

Why is Ahuva better than Ilana or Shira?
Is it a name from tanach?

Allegedly, there is this "Book of Names", and shira and ilana aren't in it. Ahuva and Sara are.
Nothing to do with tanach.

urban gypsy

Fri, Aug 30 2019, 12:31 am

Why allegedly? Has no one seen it? Does it actually exist?

Teomima

Fri, Aug 30 2019, 12:33 am

When we made aliyah, my father, sister, and my brother started using their Hebrew names. But it never felt comfortable to either of them so they reverted to their English names. For my sister and father this included legally changing their Israeli names to their (more confusing, by local standards) English names. This makes everything a bit more challenging, technically speaking, since their English names are unfamiliar names to Israelis (whereas their Hebrew names were common), but they all feel much more at ease going by their old, familiar names.

amother

Hotpink

Fri, Aug 30 2019, 12:36 am

I have a friend who changed her name after married and not having kids. She had soon after changing.
The first time I saw her after she just corrected me. She only goes by that name in every way. It’s prob 10 years later now.

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