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S/o advice about dress - over/underdressed accidents
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 6:21 am
LovesHashem wrote:
Pesach is always spring clothing
Sukkos is always winter
NO MATTER THE WEATHER.

That's how I see it goes in town. Although I could care less and still dress for the weather.
Although I'll try to fit in more. I'll wear a more colorful winter outfit on pesach, or a summer outfit with a thicker shell and cute sweater and boots. Like I'll make it work with the weather and the overall vibe.

I would dress for the weather and not to match other people's outfits. Why should that even matter?
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 7:30 am
DrMom wrote:
I would dress for the weather and not to match other people's outfits. Why should that even matter?


It only matters if you want to fit in and you don’t want to look out of place.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 7:39 am
Spring, autumn. People have just brought their outfits for the new season and want a chance to show them off. And to say 'shechechyanu' on the new clothes. And between air conditioning and heating, who really cares what the weather is doing outside?

Here in Israel, Sukkot is definitely light summer clothing so as not melt in the sukkah. Pesach can be more variable.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 7:49 am
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
It only matters if you want to fit in and you don’t want to look out of place.

True. I guess if I am dressed respectfully and modestly, with an appropriate level of formality, I don't care about whether I fit in w.r.t other criteria (seasonal colors and fabrics, etc.).
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imasoftov




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 8:27 am
Elfrida wrote:
And between air conditioning and heating, who really cares what the weather is doing outside?.

People who don't live next door to their shul?
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 8:44 am
I still cringe when I think back to this memory. I was about 10 years old and my friend had invited me to help her out at a tzedaka party. When I asked my mother about it, she told me I havta wear shabbos clothes because it's a party and that's where all the people are honored. I wore a very fancy shabbos outfit with my hair all made up and white tights and light colored shoes to match the outfit. I looked like I was going to a wedding...... When I arrived to the hall, I realized I was waaaaay overdressed. This party was set up to collect prize tickets and nothing more. The official honorings would take place at night.
I stuck out like a sore thumb. To me I felt like I got the date for a wedding mixed up.
You can bet that was the last time I allowed my mother to give me fashion help.
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EsaEinai




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 9:40 am
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
This thread makes me nervous because I’m a very self conscious person. I try to work on my confidence.. but it’s hard as I’m already an adult. I’m the kind of person who never knows what to wear for almost any given occasion. I’m also always worried that I’m dressing my kids all wrong and they will look funny. I guess I have these concerns because these things really happened!
Once I was able invited to a pidyon haben. I wasn’t sure how people dress to a pidyon haben so we (myself and kids) all wore nicer weekday clothing. We were the only ones who were not wearing shabbos clothing! I learned that there is an inyan to dress in shabbos clothes for a pidyon haben.
When my oldest was a toddler I had no idea how to dress a kid for a bris. I dressed him in shabbos clothing and noticed that all other kids were wearing regular weekday clothing.
And how about this one.... one year on succos it was boiling hot; probably close to 90 degrees. I almost never go to shul. That hot yomtov day I told my kids we will go to shul. They wore their summer shabbos outfits since I couldn’t imagine dressing them in their new winter (woolen) clothing. Well, they stood out so bad. Everyone in shul was wearing their new winter clothes while we were standing there all summery.
Somehow I never get it right 😕...




I think we need to boost your self esteem! In most of the situations you brought up, you were perfectly fine! Shabbos clothes to a bris? Perfect! Summer clothes on a boiling hot sukkos? Brilliant! I would have felt bad for all those kids in woolen winter outfits who were roasting. You need to believe in yourself. “This was my choice and I’m happy I made it!”
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 10:07 am
I'm actually the opposite of everyone. I will davka wear what others are not wearing. For example, as posters have pointed out that come Rosh Hashana/Sukkos/Simchas Torah people dress their kids and themselves with winter stuff regardless of weather. I will davka go according to the weather and not pity the fool who is melting away in winter clothes when its 80 degrees outside. Same with Pesach season. I will dress everyone including myself according to the weather. On that note, I will also davka not wear what's in style. Why look like everyone else? I like my individuality and will wear what I think looks good. What's wrong with last year's style?

Sorry for hijacking the thread. Maybe I should do a s/o.

On second thought, nahhhh, this topic is interesting enough, Thank You Very Much!
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amother




Orange
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 11:06 am
I believe fashion experts say it's worse to be over dressed than underdressed for an occasion. Speaking from personal experience, I would say that is true.
Re: the yamim tovim...I anyway like to have "inbetween" seasonal clothes. You can't go wrong with a lightweight outfit in darker clothes going to shul on RH.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 11:22 am
In the in between weather you see everything on the street, summer clothes, winter clothes, sweaters/jackets. You never get it right anyway. You dress baby warmly in morn because it's cool, later it warms up & you are still out so now they are overdressed etc.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 11:26 am
For shul, I like to wear simple formal comfortable clothes for davening, I see people dressed like to a wedding in shul.

Also if you go away for a shabbos to relax, you want to be comfortable & stay in your robe & slippers but everyone is getting dressed so you dress simply & comfortably but then everyone comes out with their highest heels & party/wedding dresses, all decked out for seudah etc.
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cbsp




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 11:32 am
dankbar wrote:
When you have Rosh hashana in early September with 90 degrees weather it's pathetic to watch kids sweating in velvets & furs. Sorry.


I went to say Yizkor last day of Pesach. It was quite chilly. A mother was standing outside holding her baby (not more than a few months old) wearing a short short outfit and mini anklets. The kid's legs and thighs were mottled red and blue. I completely don't understand it!
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 12:09 pm
dankbar wrote:
When you have Rosh hashana in early September with 90 degrees weather it's pathetic to watch kids sweating in velvets & furs. Sorry.


I agree it's pathetic. I don't do it. I'm just saying what others do, so people who feel like they always get it wrong can understand.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 12:12 pm
DrMom wrote:
I would dress for the weather and not to match other people's outfits. Why should that even matter?


I don't do it for other people. I personally feel like the general vibe around pesach time is spring. I'm sick of the winter outfits and waiting to get into the colorful spring colors. Same with sukkos. All the cute winter stuff are in stores and I'm dying to wear some. I love winter fashion, cozy sweatshirts, booties, etc.

So I'll try to mix the weather with the vibe. At sukkos night you can usually wear booties already, or a lighter winter outfit etc.
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Flip Flops




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 3:22 pm
dankbar wrote:
When you have Rosh hashana in early September with 90 degrees weather it's pathetic to watch kids sweating in velvets & furs. Sorry.


Funny, where I live Rosh hashana is still totally summer, we only switch to winter by succos. Nobody wears black tights on Rosh hashana.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 3:36 pm
This year rosh hashana is in October, might be cold by then
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 4:12 pm
My kids live in a Lakewood-type community. We are very not that type but for an American I’m a conservative dresser. Still, when we go to visit the kids, I deliberately pack my more colorful clothing. It’s my small, insignificant, yet oddly satisfying contribution to the fight against the Blacking of Frum America.

Nowhere does our tradition suggest that wearing black is more holy than wearing colors, and my skin crawls when I see six-year-old girls dressed like Italian widows—on yomtov, yet, not their great-grandfather’s shiva. If I can get one charedi mom to dress herself or her children in something more cheerful, say a nice mint green or a lemon-curd yellow (I don’t ask for brilliant turquoise or emerald, ein somchin al haneis after all), I shall not have lived in vain.

Of course that will never happen because everything about me from my bag to my jewelry or dearth thereof screams “not one of us”.
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amother




Natural
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 4:34 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
My kids live in a Lakewood-type community. We are very not that type but for an American I’m a conservative dresser. Still, when we go to visit the kids, I deliberately pack my more colorful clothing. It’s my small, insignificant, yet oddly satisfying contribution to the fight against the Blacking of Frum America.

Nowhere does our tradition suggest that wearing black is more holy than wearing colors, and my skin crawls when I see six-year-old girls dressed like Italian widows—on yomtov, yet, not their great-grandfather’s shiva. If I can get one charedi mom to dress herself or her children in something more cheerful, say a nice mint green or a lemon-curd yellow (I don’t ask for brilliant turquoise or emerald, ein somchin al haneis after all), I shall not have lived in vain.

Of course that will never happen because everything about me from my bag to my jewelry or dearth thereof screams “not one of us”.


You sound very bitter. I’m sorry 😐
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amother




Orange
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 4:53 pm
I thought colors are back in, for at least the past couple of years. I don't see all black ensembles that much anymore, definitely not on kids.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 6:36 pm
For a couple of years color was back in but now were back to the all black trend. Go into any childrens store, the entire wall of clothes is BLACK
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