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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
amother
OP
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 2:38 pm
If the girl side is paying for the caterer who comes down to be in the room when the contract is being signed between the caterer/ hall and girls parents?
Are the chosson and kallah present, chosson’s parents?
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amother
Goldenrod
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 2:41 pm
Living OOT, we booked the halls for our daughter, long distance. Sometimes the machuteinistes did check them out first.
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sub
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 2:46 pm
Are the chassan’s parents helping with menu choices?
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amother
Aqua
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 6:30 pm
I’ve never made a wedding but I imagine whoever is writing the check will sign the contract.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 6:34 pm
amother [ Aqua ] wrote: | I’ve never made a wedding but I imagine whoever is writing the check will sign the contract. |
Obviously. But would the chosson, kallah and the boys parents be in the room was the contract and money is being discussed?
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amother
Tan
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 6:44 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Obviously. But would the chosson, kallah and the boys parents be in the room was the contract and money is being discussed? |
this is really at the discretion of the parties talking.
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amother
White
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 6:56 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Obviously. But would the chosson, kallah and the boys parents be in the room was the contract and money is being discussed? |
Why don't you ask the other side's parents if they want you there.
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Sebastian
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 7:03 pm
If you aren't paying, why would you be there
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agreer
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Fri, Aug 30 2019, 8:16 pm
Let's spell it out for OP.
USUALLY: girl's side, as they are "making the wedding". No, chosson and family are not there.
However, every rule has an exception. If the chosson's side is paying for the wedding, then yes, they'd be there, not the girl's side.
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mommyhood
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Sat, Aug 31 2019, 9:06 pm
In my experience when the girls side is paying it’s usually the kallahs parents only. They might involve the chosson/kallah and the chossons parents in food choices.
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pesek zman
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Sat, Aug 31 2019, 9:16 pm
I was present with my parents when we went to book the hall. While listening to them discuss prices was awkward, it’s important to know how much things cost so that when (for example) dinner is chicken only (no beef) it is understood that it’s just not worth the pp upcharge
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amother
Amber
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Sat, Aug 31 2019, 9:21 pm
When marrying off my daughter I consulted the chasson's side re the selection of the hall. Because we were paying for the hall (and they for FLOPS) I negotiated and booked the hall myself. When it came time to select the menu I asked the chassan's side if the would like to join me in selecting the menu. They indicated that they would be fine with my choices. I asked if there was anything in particular that they would like, and they again declined to o offer an opinion. When it came to flowers, band, etc I would have appreciated being asked about any preferences, but was not. I never said a word, because it certainly is not worth causing friction. Bh the couple is happily married.
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amother
Tan
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Sat, Aug 31 2019, 10:00 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote: | When marrying off my daughter I consulted the chasson's side re the selection of the hall. Because we were paying for the hall (and they for FLOPS) I negotiated and booked the hall myself. When it came time to select the menu I asked the chassan's side if the would like to join me in selecting the menu. They indicated that they would be fine with my choices. I asked if there was anything in particular that they would like, and they again declined to o offer an opinion. When it came to flowers, band, etc I would have appreciated being asked about any preferences, but was not. I never said a word, because it certainly is not worth causing friction. Bh the couple is happily married. |
Well said.
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amother
Aubergine
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Sat, Aug 31 2019, 11:05 pm
Married off 4 kids.
Two we split down the middle so both sides went to sign the contract and decide on the menu.
The third was such a blur I don’t really remember what we did I think we did everything over the phone because we were both out of town and hall was not close to either of us.
The fourth we did LOP (flowers were included in hall) and I only went to sign contract but chassons side requested a certain hall. What was strange was they went to caterer to talk about liquor and to make a menu without me even though I was paying for the hall.
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Ruchel
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Sun, Sep 01 2019, 4:50 am
why do you need rules for random stuff
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PinkFridge
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Sun, Sep 01 2019, 8:03 am
Ruchel wrote: | why do you need rules for random stuff |
In general, knowing what each side's responsible for contributes to sholom.
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amother
Wheat
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Sun, Sep 01 2019, 10:14 am
Both sets of parents signed contract with the hall and both went to discuss the menu. Chosson and kallah did not come along.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 01 2019, 10:22 am
amother [ Wheat ] wrote: | Both sets of parents signed contract with the hall and both went to discuss the menu. Chosson and kallah did not come along. |
Who paid for the hall?
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Ruchel
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Mon, Sep 02 2019, 7:23 am
PinkFridge wrote: | In general, knowing what each side's responsible for contributes to sholom. |
And that's the opposite of what is going on here, asking strangers what is supposed to happen.
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