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DD8 hates her teacher

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 9:45 pm
My daughter just entered 3rd grade and hates her new secular studies teacher. Says she is too strict, keeps drilling the school routines and gives work that is too easy. The teacher is new to the school and is younger, so may not have much experience.

DD is extremely bright and is very frustrated and bored in class. She is well behaved and does not act out in class but complains a lot at home.

She qualifies as gifted but there is no gifted program in her school. Last year she had a teacher who was gentle, very smart, and knew how to handle her (DD complained she didn’t learn anything then too but now she is realizing how good she had it).

The school is small with only one class per grade, and the only Jewish one around.

I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad for my daughter. Every day she doesn’t want to get out of bed because she hates going to school so much.

I’ve made an appointment to speak with the teacher next week. How do I respectfully and successfully advocate for my child?
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studying_torah




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 9:49 pm
There isn't always anything to do; you can ask for extra worksheets or sending in a book with your daughter (as a motivator if she does her work well) or to be paired up w a weaker kid. The teacher might or might not agree.
It's hard but not every teacher is the best fit & sometimes the kid needs to just power thru- especially when you have no other choices
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Sun, Sep 01 2019, 11:54 pm
If the school isnt providing supplemental work then you can. Have her choose a topic she can do 'research' on, take her to the library to take out books read upon it and present a poster to class with info when done. She can be busy with this if she finishes work early. Alternatively, you can get her an extra workbook with 'fun pages' for added math practice. Talk with the teacher and see what options she's willing to work with. Im not sure if this is the case but there really is no excuse for a child to talk disrespectfully about a teacher if there is a problem you can talk it through together and come up with a solution. Not wanting to get out of bed because she's bored in class doesn't sound right. Is there something else going on? Friend issues? Is she getting in trouble? Talk with the teacher to hear her point of view.
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amother




Cyan
 

Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 4:51 am
This sounds like my 4th grade experience. With the teacher's permission, my mom sent in enrichment (logic puzzles) and the teacher had me catch up kids who missed a day.
Call up the teacher. Leave out the not liking, but talk about how your daughter is gifted and bored and "brainstorm together" what you can do to help. Don't attack the teacher, just explain you know your daughter needs more stimulation so you like to touch base at the beginning of the year.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 5:00 am
OP wrote:
Says she is too strict, keeps drilling the school routines and gives work that is too easy. The teacher is new to the school and is younger, so may not have much experience.


On the surface, these three complaints aren't things I'd worry about too much right now. They actually can be signs of a great teacher.

- a good teacher knows to be extra strict in the beginning of the year; it sets a tone that nonsense will not be tolerated. Many teachers ease up once the rules are well established, and habits are set.

- ditto the drilling of school routines. Not everyone in the class may pick up on these things as quickly as your DD, and the time spent nailing it down now may be important for increased productivity the rest of the year.

- it's common to start a school year with review and easier work, then transition into the new material. Many times, even the brightest if students doesn't remember as much as she thinks she does.

- you say your DD has a tendency to complain about the work being too easy, and did it last year, too.

You can consider supplementing with math from Khan Academy at home, and with taking interesting books home from the public library.

When you have your meeting with the teacher, start by asking her for her observations about DD, and also ask her what to he second grade teacher told her about the best ways to work with her. Then, tell her about DD's drama, and ask if she has any ideas to help. End by setting a meeting for a couple of weeks later, to see how it's going.

And yes, do investigate the possibility of social concerns.

Hatzlacha!
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 6:02 am
It's only the first week of school. Give things a chance.
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polka dots




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 6:33 am
I agree with above posters. Give the teacher time to get to know her students. Most teachers will like to start off being stricter than usual, they don’t know who their students are and once she will lose control it’s hard to come back. Often teachers use the time till tom tov to get to know their class and they rethink their strategies accordingly and start fresh after y”t.
It might be a good thing to teach your daughter too, give her a chance beyond the first impression.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 7:13 am
At the beginning of the school year, DD absolutely despised her 3rd grade teacher. Mrs. X was an old school, no nonsense, tons of experience, teacher. She did not suffer fools gladly, and did not cut anyone any slack. She was not warm and fuzzy, and she expected everyone to try their best.

For weeks DD came home telling me how incredibly mean this teacher was. There was another 3rd grade class, but the principal thought that based on DD's profile, she would do best with Mrs. X, so I listened. I told DD that she needs to give things a few extra weeks, and to be patient.

It turns out that there were some really wild kids in her class, and Mrs. X was the perfect fit to earn their respect and control the classroom. DD felt very safe with Mrs. X, because she knew that things would never get too chaotic.

DD often complained of boredom, so Mrs. X found ways to keep her engaged. Either with extra work sheets, extra reading, or with helping another student who was behind in certain subjects.

Soon DD was telling me what a great teacher Mrs. X was, and how happy she was that she didn't switch! When she hears that Mrs. X was retiring at the end of the year, she was really sad that they wouldn't be seeing each other in the hallway anymore, and gave Mrs. X a great big hug. DD insisted that we buy her a beautiful pair of earrings as a going away gift.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 10:42 am
Thanks for the responses.
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ShishKabob




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Sep 02 2019, 10:50 am
imasinger wrote:
On the surface, these three complaints aren't things I'd worry about too much right now. They actually can be signs of a great teacher.

- a good teacher knows to be extra strict in the beginning of the year; it sets a tone that nonsense will not be tolerated. Many teachers ease up once the rules are well established, and habits are set.

- ditto the drilling of school routines. Not everyone in the class may pick up on these things as quickly as your DD, and the time spent nailing it down now may be important for increased productivity the rest of the year.

- it's common to start a school year with review and easier work, then transition into the new material. Many times, even the brightest if students doesn't remember as much as she thinks she does.

- you say your DD has a tendency to complain about the work being too easy, and did it last year, too.

You can consider supplementing with math from Khan Academy at home, and with taking interesting books home from the public library.

When you have your meeting with the teacher, start by asking her for her observations about DD, and also ask her what to he second grade teacher told her about the best ways to work with her. Then, tell her about DD's drama, and ask if she has any ideas to help. End by setting a meeting for a couple of weeks later, to see how it's going.

And yes, do investigate the possibility of social concerns.

Hatzlacha!

This
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