Any suggestions how to change language

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 10:39 am

Finally my 5 year old son started cheider in a mazeldiga shu. I need some ideas on how to teach my kids to talk in english. They go to a Yiddish speaking cheider . Lots of boys come from English speaking homes but cheider encourages to speak in Yiddish ... my first language is Yiddish. I always hated the Yiddish language. Please no offense to anyone . That's me I have my own history why I'm anti Yiddish language but not going to go into details... I want my kids to pick up a fluent english, I do talk to them most of the day in english and they will only respond in yiddish . How else can I get them to be comfortable in the language, I know usually it's on the parents the way we parents give it over to them that's how they will communicate back but in this case I do feel most of the day me and my husband will talk in english to them but they're responding in Yiddish I get very annoyed. I might sound odd or unusual about this but it's an affect from when I was younger and my dream was and still is that my kids will talk a very fluent english . @ one point I was gna send them to an only English speaking yashiva, in the end was just not possible and I'm immensely happy with the yashiva they go to. Can ppl give me some suggestions how to get kids into getting comfortable with a 2nd language like turn it into a first language? So far I'm working very hard by talking to them in english but it doesnt seem enough for them ... was thinking maybe a tutor I just dont want the money to go @ waste. Can anyone explain to me how kids will pick up fluent english? besides going to english speaking schools) I've seen boys being in yiddish speaking invirenments meaning freinds, schools, ... still knowing a very well english. I dont understand why my kids are any different. Can anyone come in with a conclusion how I can create an English speaking invirenment in the house?

amother

Coral

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:20 pm

What happens when you ask/tell them to speak in English? I know a family where the mother speaks to the kids only in one language, and the Father speaks to them in another, and the kids learn to respond to each parent in the language that they are spoken to, so it is possible.

amother

Gray

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:25 pm

this is a common issue -- that parents speak to their kids in a language and the kids respond even if they understand in their first language
id take myself out of the equation if possible and get a tutor or group together and for that hour they learn ulpan style
workbooks and you can keep talking to them in the language you want them to learn
you can have certain times with certain suppers for example and try to make it fun and english only zone for an hour or so and hopefully with motivation and reinforcement/treats they will do so for a while at least

amother

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:25 pm

This is what I mean that we do talk but they stick to only yiddish . .. eventually they should be able to keep a conversations going in english...how do I do that?

amother

Denim

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:29 pm

Are you saying that till 5, you only spoke to them in English and you continue to only speak to them in English and they respond in Yiddish? How does your 5yo know Yiddish? Did they ever speak to you in English?
I do have some suggestions, but they depend a bit on your answers, so I’ll wait.

(Posting anon because some of my suggestions/experiences may ‘out’ me)

amother

Coral

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:29 pm

So, walk us through what's happening. You speak in English, and they respond in Yiddish, as they are used to. Then what happens?

Did you ever talk to them about how you are going to play a fun game and speak only English at home, or something like that? You need to try to make it fun.

pesek zman

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:31 pm

I don’t understand. At 5, what language have you been speaking to him since birth? Since you said you dislike Yiddish I’m assuming it’s english. So why hasn’t He learned it if you’ve been speaking it to him all along?

pbandjelly

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:35 pm

Yes, definitely get a qualified tutor.

Maybe also make a special reward chart for speaking English?

You can make it part of your routine. For example, during dinner they can only speak in English. If they do that then they get a sticker on their chart. Once they get 7 stickers they get a small prize. (The prize could even be an activity, like the you and the child do something special together that they pick: bake, go to the park etc...)

Then they need to only speak English during breakfast and dinner. And again they get stickers which lead to rewards.

Slowly increase the times to include all the time they are home.

Let them know that you understand that this is difficult. And explain how much you appreciate their effort. Also explain why it is so important to you. How necessary it is in this country.

You can also explain to them that you won't answer them unless they ask questions in English. (Just like if kids whine we ask them to say it in a polite way before answering.)

Good luck!

amother

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:36 pm

No no no . Sorry if I wasnt clear. Correction: I did say my first language is Yiddish, I definitely speak yiddish too I dont only speak in english , MOST of the time I speak in English but their is definitely Yiddish speKing as well, I do read english books to them and yea I talk to them english a lot. Dont c much of an affort in them speaking it.. maybe I will just have to buy english dvd's , cd's ...

marina

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:37 pm

Don’t worry OP. I’m sure they will learn enough English in their language arts, math, history, and science classes.

pesek zman

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:38 pm

Sorry I guess I was confused. I don’t understand why you’re sending him to Yiddish speaking school if you want him to speak English fluently. I’m giessing this bit is cultural and I’m not going to get it. I’d say start reading English books, singlng English songs, I assume he knows his ABCs?

amother

Coral

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:42 pm

From what you have said, I am still not sure whether or not your kids actually understand that you want them to speak in English. What happens when you tell them to respond in English? Just like you teach them to say, "Please", and "Thank you", etc, you have to teach them to respond in English. It's not enough for you to just speak English and hope they catch on.

Rappel

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:00 pm

When teaching a language, the easiest way to keep the conversation going, while still training them to recognize the new language, is to repeat back to them what they said in English:
"How was your day at school?"
"Es iz geven ongenem."
"Oh, it was nice? I'm so glad to hear that! What made it so nice?

Just repeat back what they said in your response. Their minds will register the words you say, and repetition and context will concretize their knowledge.

Some notes:
* Don't mix languages, or they'll fail to discern which word belongs to which languages. (Like one person once told me: "I can never remember which is English - chair, or כסא.") When you're talking to your children, pick one language, and stick with it.
*It may be worth hiring a tutor/speech therapist to professionally engage your children with a broader vocabulary, and with the correct phonemes, while they're still young.
*There are two language centers in the brain: once is receptive, and the other is productive. The receptive area develops long before the productive area. If you keep on reinforcing their familiarity with English words in relevant contexts, then they should spontaneously begin to produce English on their own in a few years.
*For reasons unknown, puberty seems to develop language ability for a brief time. It's documented that many children from Hispanic homes in the USA only started responding to their parents in Spanish when they reached puberty. No one knows why, yet, but don't lose hope if your children continue to respond to you in Yiddish for years. Every time you open your mouth, they are learning, and they are listening. Hashem built our brains beautifully, and not a single word is wasted.

Rappel

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:02 pm

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

Actually, yes, it is. See my above post. If you research the TPRS method of language acquisition, then you'll come across a lot of research and development which demonstrates that contextual learning is EXACTLY how the brain acquires language.

amother

Ivory

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:05 pm

You can't force kids to talk a certain language. If they understand english, it means that they can talk English they just don't want to. If they talk mostly yiddish among their friends, they will talk yiddish at home. With time, they'll probably have a great english. At 5, they don't need a good English. They'll also talk that language that's spoken at school.

amother

Amber

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:16 pm

Get them a private tutor.
I did this with my boys (for 1 month). He taught them the letters, sounds and basics.

Help them read cereal boxes, and any food cans. Read them books in English.

Give him time. He will learn the language.

We too are Yiddish speaking, and I speak to my kids alot in English language. They pick it up and are pretty fluent by now age 8 and 10.
Professionals are impressed with their fluency and constantly tell me that this is not average for Chasidish boys.
Just give them time.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:19 pm

Send them to a daycamp where the kids speak only English.

I'm actually having the opposite problem. I don't speak Yiddish but I do understand it, but I want my children to be able to speak it more or less fluently. It seems like the boys speak to eachother in Yiddish at cheder. At least in the younger grades. As they get older, they converse in English. However, while my girls' school officially teaches in Yiddish, the girls speak to each other in English, and even the teachers only speak Yiddish in the classroom, so they really don't speak Yiddish.

amother

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:29 pm

Are your kids also picking it up slowly? my 5 year old went for 2/12 years in english speaking until this year. they start to learn english in 2nd grade . He knows way better then my 10 year old. They both know english just they wouldnt yet have a full conversation in this language. I think I will hire a tutor for them.

amother

Coral

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:35 pm

Rappel wrote:

I don't know much about this method, so I'm for sure not going to argue with you. I don't doubt that TPRS is a great way to learn! But, you don't think that it could be helpful to actually talk to the kids about speaking English so they know that she wants them to do this? I'm not clear from her posts if she has done this or not.

Orchid

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:39 pm

If you create rules regarding how your children can speak with you, and they end up struggling with those rules, they will just learn to not speak to you. You never want to put a barrier between your and your kids' communication.

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