A polite "good morning" won't make you sin, or will it?

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:20 am

It's nice and all when men are makpid not to interact with women, but when a neighbor passes by, a "good morning" is polite, I don't like to feel invisible. Trust me, I won't think you're starting up with me, I'll just think that you are a mentch.

abound

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:23 am

Some do and some don't, I respect the men that do and I respect the men that do not. They are not doing it to be rude, they are doing it because this their way of life.
Live and let live!

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:25 am

abound wrote:

Some do and some don't, I respect the men that do and I respect the men that do not. They are not doing it to be rude, they are doing it because this their way of life.
Live and let live!

[quote]

True, but I live in an area that is not even yeshivish, so it just feels like I'm being ignored

amother

Brown

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:28 am

[quote="amother [ OP ]"]

Quote:

True, but I live in an area that is not even yeshivish, so it just feels like I'm being ignored

overcome that feeling with the reasoned thought that these men don't talk to women. eventually your feeling over being ignored will go away.

amother

Blue

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:29 am

My husband actually feels the opposite.

He used to acknowledge women and offer assistance to those who clearly needed it.

He stopped becuase of how rude some of their responses were, with the clear implication that he is looking to flirt with them

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:32 am

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

Oh my! My husband says a quick good morning to everyone he sees, I sure hope none of my neighbors think he's flirting with them. Crazy world we live in, basic decency is a huge red flag

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:34 am

I sleep with all men that say good morning to me. Heck, even a nod with averted eyes will get me in the mood.
LOL

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:37 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

I sleep with all men that say good morning to me. Heck, even a nod with averted eyes will get me in the mood.
LOL

unexpected

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:37 am

I will stop and shmooze with older (much older like great-grandfather types) men and they will shmooze back with me...but if a young-middle aged man would pass me on the street and say good morning I would be weirded out. Or if they would say good shabbos. When I pass my sons' friends on the street I don't acknowledge them and I don't expect them to acknowledge me but if they were in my house I would totally shmooze with them...

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:41 am

unexpected wrote:

You'd be wierded out if it was a neighbor?
What's wrong with acknowledging with a small wave/ hi, how are you??

amother

Puce

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:43 am

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

We used to live in an apartment building in Bp. If my husband would as much offer to help shlep a woman's stroller up the stairs she was so uncomfortable you'd think he asked to sleep with her. Same for holding the door open. They would look down and hurry away as if God knows what he wants to do. And my husband is a regular eidel chassidish looking guy.
We've since moved. Our new neighborhood has a bit of an oot vibe, anyone that passes each other on the street regardless of gender will greet good shabbos. We still marvel at it.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:47 am

I like to look at it as a cultural thing, not a "Jewish" thing.

Just like some cultures people will bow to you, and not shake your hand. The person who bows slightly is the boss or authority figure, and the person who bows deeper is the subordinate.

It's all in how you choose to look at things. Personally, I can think of a LOT more things to be offended by.

unexpected

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You'd be wierded out if it was a neighbor?
What's wrong with acknowledging with a small wave/ hi, how are you??

Yes
My neighbor's husband should not notice me standing in front of my house or whatever, and if he did he should pretend he didn't. Those are our community norms.

iluvy

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:51 am

unexpected wrote:

What is so different about the street?

I wouldn't stop and shmooze with a friend's husband or my husband's friend, but if someone has been in my house and eaten my food (or vice versa) it seems anti-tznius - coy - to pass with averted eyes as if we are strangers, instead of a normal acknowledgment.

amother

Brown

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:51 am

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

That's terrible. I hope he continues regardless - especially in front of your children.

chestnut

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 10:51 am

unexpected wrote:

There's a big difference between saying good morning and stopping to schmooze. Saying a quick good morning is proper outside if you know the person; it doesn't require stopping and shmoozing

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 11:06 am

I am considering dressing in brown clothes/stockings/shoes and dyeing my shaital green. Do you think that I can camouflage in with the trees? That would really make me invisible and help me not make people sin.

In reality though, do you not interact at all with non-Jews? It is such a chillul Hashem to not smile and say friendly hello/thank you.....

singleagain

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 11:14 am

An alternative to "good morning" just "morning"

I say it to everyone, included the barista at Starbucks and the guy who pumps my gas.

nechamashifra

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 12:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why would you feel invisible when you know it's not personal?
We accept that burping after a meal is considered a compliment in some cultures...why can't we accept the different customs amongst our own people? I never understood why people get so offended when you know that the reason he's doing it is because of his beliefs or the way he was raised, and nothing to do with you.