Pity Party for 1 | Imamother

LittleMissMama

Sat, Sep 07 2019, 11:40 pm

Well tonight will always be known as the night I was NOT thrown a surprise party for my milestone birthday. I spent the whole shabbos thinking tonight would be a surprise party for my entrance into the middle aged part of my life. I won't go into all the details why but I was totally convinced. A very close friend even flew in this weekend somewhat randomly.

Well there was no party. Trying not to cry as I drink my wine and eat my popcorn. But oh my goodness, I feel like a fool. I planned my outfit all day, even thought about what I would say to thank people for coming. I'm completely serious.

I just feel so, so stupid right now.

Frumwithallergies

Sat, Sep 07 2019, 11:51 pm

I'm so sorry that you were disappointed!
May I be the first to wish you a happy birthday biz a hundert un tzvanzik / ad me'ah ve'esrim!!!!
I would like to send you a hug and some cleaned strawberries and freshly baked brownies to go with that wine!!

Rappel

Sat, Sep 07 2019, 11:54 pm

Happy birthday! Go get half a century tree!

And maybe, once the hurt of expectation wears off, you can invite your far-away friend and others to a brunch in honour of your birthday. I'm sure they'd love to celebrate the occasion with you.

Plonis

Sat, Sep 07 2019, 11:55 pm

I'm sorry! Such an awful letdown. I'd be crying into my pillow.

I suggest you sit down and make a list of XX special qualities about yourself (where XX is your new age) as a birthday present to yourself.

May this milestone lead you only to greater and better things, may you have success in areas once left stagnant, and may you be able to post next year that this was the best year of your life!

Surrendered

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 12:50 am

Happy Birthday!!!
May your life be as a Wedding gown- Long & Beautiful!!!
Let's Party right here...🌞

I've got some:
🍿🍩🥂🍰🎂🍪🍫🍫🍹🍾🥂🥤🍭🍬🍡🍨🍧🍦🍕🍟🧁

DrMom

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 2:17 am

dankbar wrote:

maybe its still happening another day

This.

Maybe they are holding it on your Hebrew birthday (or on your secular birthday; whichever one today isn't).

Maybe they are planning it for another day (that's what makes it a "surprise party")?

Hug

FranticFrummie

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 5:16 am

OP, I am so sorry you are feeling disappointed. There's really nothing that will make it better.

When I turned 30, I threw myself a big birthday party. I sent out over 60 invitation, and hand delivered quite a few as well. I bought tons of food, drinks, paper goods, the whole thing.

Nobody showed up for at least an hour. Then one friend showed up, and she literally ate ALL the food. Then she left, and she didn't give me a present.

Then a while later, another friend showed up. He drank ALL the liquor, and passed out on my sofa for several hours. I didn't get a present from him, either.

WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

From then on, I quit relying on other people to make me happy. I take myself out for sushi, and if anyone wants to join me, they're welcome to.

DVOM

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 6:47 am

That's really hard, OP! Birthdays can be such a fraught time... lots of emotions, lots of expectations and hopes. I'm so sorry you were disappointed!

If this is important to you, ask for it. When it comes to things that I really feel like I need, I ask for them. I would call my best friend, or sit down with my husband or (adult) child and say: It would mean a lot to me if you would do something fun to celebrate my birthday. I'd like to be surprised! Please come through for me, it would mean a lot.

And then wipe away your expectations and allow yourself to be amazed and surprised by whatever your loved ones put together.

southernbubby

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 7:55 am

I think that social media replaced being actively involved with friends. People started emailing cards and birthdays on Facebook meant spending the day acknowledging greetings. Before social media, a good friend's birthday meant planning to celebrate.
I think that personal involvement has gone the way of the shopping mall. We don't need much of a wardrobe for our online social life.

sky

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 9:29 am

I’m sorry. Is there Anything you can do for your birthday that’s a splurge? Go out for Your favorite coffee with cheese cake. Buy a Box of truffles. Go shopping and buy a Special dress. Please do something for yourself.
Invite friend who is in town for brunch and get waffles and ice cream.

Mazel tov on this milestone.

southernbubby

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 9:42 am

I also think that if you were part of other people's birthday celebrations that it's reasonable to expect them to be part of yours.

LittleMissMama

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 10:53 am

The friend flew home already. There's definitely nothing planned at this point. It's still disappointing because I have celebrated others' when they hit this age. But life goes on....

Thank you for the birthday wishes!

Jewishfoodie

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 11:04 am

(I was sooo hoping they were gonna surprise you today... Hey! Do something awesome for yourself! Some of my favorite gifts came from.. Me!)

naturalmom5

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 12:02 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Lol....you might want to choose your friends more carefully

Flip Flops

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 1:21 pm

Happy Birthday!!
Any junk I eat today will be in honor of your Birthday. I will have you in mind and have no guilt feelings.
And you should get off the couch and do something for yourself. Buy something good to eat, splurge on a piece of clothing or jewelry, get a massage or a manicure...