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Putting toddlers to sleep
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 08 2019, 6:14 pm
My almost 3 year old just discovered how to climb out of a crib. He never gave me a problem going to sleep before, but now that he knows how to escape, he does. I'm trying to move him to a bed, but he just wont go to sleep! He's exhausted, but he just refuses because he can just get out and go downstairs. He'll stay up until crazy late when he passes out on the couch, and then he'll be bomb tired the next day because he wakes up his regular time. It's a vicious cycle!
What do I do? Bribes don't work. Sitting/laying with him in bed doesn't work. Reading books doesn't work. Letting him go to sleep with a toy doesn't work. I'm out of ideas.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Sun, Sep 08 2019, 6:25 pm
It's a hard stage.

You need to be willing to put time into this.

Every time he comes out, EVERY time you must pick him up, no drama, and place him back into his crib or bed. "It's time to go to sleep."

Repeat, repeat, until you're going out of your mind, and repeat again.

It takes a few days, but eventually they realize that you mean it. It's time to go to sleep.

It is also helpful to read stories about kids going to sleep, to prepare Negel Vasser together and discuss how "Now Moishy is going into his bed! He is going to go to sleep. He will stay inside of his bed."
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amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Sep 08 2019, 6:32 pm
Try a crib tent.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, Sep 08 2019, 6:35 pm
I second denim. Don't further confine him - teach him boundaries.
Did this wit my 2y old when moving into a low bed on the floor (never rly had a crib). I said if you come out, I will close the door. Stay in bed and door stays open.
The first night it took me an hour. By the 3rd day just a few min. A year later, I still have to do it some nights but mostly not. Btw I don't care if they play with toys after I tuck in ie I pretend not to see and keep the door open. In fact my 2y would take books into bed, then put them away and go to sleep. Now sometimes plays with blocks or toys and then goes into bed. All without me.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 08 2019, 8:05 pm
Thanks denim and aqua.
Been doing allllll this for the past 2 hours.
Nothing.
Now what?
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 3:16 am
I've just put a stairgate on the door to dd's room(she's almost 2). This way I know she's safe and can't get out when she wakes up at 6 in the morning. She will often play with her toys, read books etc before she will go to sleep.
Usually if I stay outside her room, my presence is enough to keep her from climbing out her cot and she lies down nicely, but as long as she plays nicely I'm not as bothered as I used to be.
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Ravenclaw




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 4:33 am
My child learned to climb out at age 1.5 . Besides for bedtime being exhausting, it was dangerous. I would wake up in the middle of the night to find my child tinkering in the kitchen, etc.

I got a crib tent.

By 2.5 my child learned how to open the crib tent. I tried every method under the sun, but it wasn’t working, DC was dead tired, and I was losing my sanity. Weeks went by like this but nothing worked. And again, there were the safety concerns.

I changed this child so that they sleep alone in a room (not to wake siblings), made sure room was 100% secure, and put a baby gate. Bh now I have almost no issues.

I know people judge me for “confining” my child, but I am guessing those people haven’t awoken to a chair being pushed to the front door with the intent of opening the chain (which I had installed when DC learned how to open all other locks) and going outside without dc even trying to wake me.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 4:45 am
Op I was gonna write the same post, except my daughter just turned 2. She ended up falling asleep after 10 last night. I’m going a little crazy and need advice.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 5:38 am
Ravenclaw - I agree with every word u wrote. I had a 2.5 year old escape my house and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. When I mentioned on here once that I turned her knob around and I lock her door until she falls alseep, I had a million people mom shaming me. Well guess what? Im next door to her room and when shes alseeo I unlock it but nothing is worth the risk of a child roaming the streets...
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amother
Copper


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 8:52 am
I didn't really read all the suggestions here. But although it may seem counter-intuitive it may be time to transition to a big bed. Make the child excited that they will sleep were big kids/adults sleep and explain to them how when they go to sleep they stay put. The excitement of being in a big bed, possibly also with a big new bear or doll or car in the bed, will attract them to the bed and keep them sleeping there. And trust fully that your child will stay in the bed! Good luck! Its a hard stage.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 9:12 am
Ravenclaw wrote:
My child learned to climb out at age 1.5 . Besides for bedtime being exhausting, it was dangerous. I would wake up in the middle of the night to find my child tinkering in the kitchen, etc.

I got a crib tent.

By 2.5 my child learned how to open the crib tent. I tried every method under the sun, but it wasn’t working, DC was dead tired, and I was losing my sanity. Weeks went by like this but nothing worked. And again, there were the safety concerns.

I changed this child so that they sleep alone in a room (not to wake siblings), made sure room was 100% secure, and put a baby gate. Bh now I have almost no issues.

I know people judge me for “confining” my child, but I am guessing those people haven’t awoken to a chair being pushed to the front door with the intent of opening the chain (which I had installed when DC learned how to open all other locks) and going outside without dc even trying to wake me.


OMG, Ravenclaw and Lime - I'm not alone!!!!!!!


I also lock my kids in once I step out of their room. I used to use a baby gate, but guess what the learned how to climb...I feel terrible for doing it, like I'm some kind of mean and controlling mom, but I know I'm not. My children are just extremely inquisitive and energetic, and it's dangerous to leave them unsupervised.
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Ravenclaw




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 2:55 pm
Rappel—I bought a 44” tall gate for this reason.

When you have an active child, nothing you do is ever right.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 5:36 pm
A toddler clock worked super well for our toddler. See amazon
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 09 2019, 5:54 pm
We had that with my daughter from 18m-almost 3, yea, it was a nightmare. My 21 month old is like that now. The only advice is that you have to keep going on with your business rather than letting them manipulate your schedule otherwise you will not get anything done. My current toddler just likes falling asleep in my bed, not entirely sure why, also since he's started a new playgroup last week his schedule has been more conducive to a better "bedtime" but yea, there's nothing that really contains him (he's a climber too, climbs over gates)
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 16 2019, 5:25 pm
Ok I'm actually going nuts.
Nothing is working! I just laid with him for AN HOUR, and he's just thinking and talking the entire time! He's not falling asleep!!! I called my husband to come home and lay with him because I had to nurse the baby. I begged his teacher to not let him nap, and she didnt listen! She said she woke him up early from his nap. Doesn't help!!!! I am THIS CLOSE to just giving him a bunch of melatonin.
Help!!!
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sweet




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 16 2019, 5:30 pm
The first thing you should do is make sure they're tired!
He shouldn't be napping anymore and when he comes home from school , there should be outdoor play to tire him out.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 16 2019, 5:38 pm
sweet wrote:
The first thing you should do is make sure they're tired!
He shouldn't be napping anymore and when he comes home from school , there should be outdoor play to tire him out.


He's exhausted! He keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes and he's pale and his eyes are droopy. But he refuses to sleep!!!
He's in a Montessori preschool. The teachers don't tell the kids what to do, so they just let him nap because he wants to even though I begged them not to.
I'm going to play with him outdoors and see what happens.
The entire time I was laying with him, he kept telling me "Morah took my green folder!" even after I kept telling him that he'll get it back (Which is what morah does every monday, and returns it friday). And I kept telling him that he's tired and is going to sleep now and we are being quiet now.
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 16 2019, 5:44 pm
It's important to get the timing right. If he naps, bedtime should be later. I would lie down with him, read him a bedtime story, and sing to him. (That's how I put my 3 year old to sleep.)

Some kids have trouble falling asleep. It's often due o sensory issues that cause problems regulating. Maybe OT can help.
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behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 16 2019, 5:45 pm
If he naps during the day see if you can tire him out when he comes home. Also try to cut out the naps over the weekend and put him to bed early enough so he is getting enough sleep. The most important thing is do not lay with him. Just keep putting him back to sleep. If you cave it makes it much harder next time.
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 16 2019, 5:48 pm
Why is lying down with him the worst thing? I think it's the best thing. It's precious cuddling time that is enjoyable for both the mother (if she can relax enough to allow herself to enjoy her child's warm body near hers) and the kid. The kid falls asleep feeling safe and secure.
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