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DD has period woes

 
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 2:10 pm
DD, 11, got her first period. I had discussed the issue some time before so she knew what it was. Now, she cries in the bathroom whenever she is having her period, everyday of her period until it ends. She is preoccupied with cleaning herself. She feels it is gross and hates it.

I have told her that she is healthy and normal. That her body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. There are other things our bodies do that seem "gross" that she is able to handle (going to the bathroom or runny noses) and she will get used to this too. Is she just going to cry in the bathroom for a week every month?

Has anybody else seen this type of reaction and what did you do?
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Raisin




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 2:18 pm
Is she ocd in other areas? That sounds a little abnormal.

Maybe you can get her different products to make it easier. She may find tampons less messy and gross then pads, or vice versa. (or both) There is also the menstrual cup, and period underwear like thinkx.
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amother




Yellow


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 2:18 pm
Can you try offering her other choices of period protection?

Things like Thinx period underwear (so there's no pad changing to deal with)
Washable pads if that's less gross for her
Menstrual cup (they make teen sizes)
Tampon if that will be easier for her

I know I hated it as a teen also, but having other options of dealing with it would really have helped me.
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shmosmom




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 2:19 pm
I cried every time the first 5-6 months... I also cried the first time bra shopping.
It's all the changes and the hormones...it can take getting used to. Just ask her if she wants a warm drink, take a hot shower/bath, offer an extra bowl of ice cream, etc.
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Rappel




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 2:28 pm
Aw, poor baby! I can definitely relate!

I agree with the others that she needs all the TLC you've been giving. Hormones, hey!

She's going to have to learn how to deal with it, and that will probably happen on her own schedule, when she realises that she can't stop work/school/camp just to cry in the bathroom.

If she's suffering cramps, then a hot water bottle on her abdomen is Eden. If her hormones are swinging too strongly, then Dong Quai supplements may ease her off the edge.

Obsessive cleaning down there is actually not a good thing - it washes away her healthy biome, and makes her susceptible to a yeast infection. If there is a way you can communicate that with her, then it's important that she stop the scrubbing.

You're a hero, Imma, for dealing with this so calmly. She'll thank you later.
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amother




Natural


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 2:53 pm
I know adults who find it still icky and gross and change their pads every hour and cry and complain. And they are adults.

She's 11. Everyone is different. I don't think it's too abnormal to take it so hard. Some people take the changes to their body really really hard. She'll calm down and get used to it. Just let her be, ask her what you can do to make it easier. Does she have cramps? Does she need a heating pad? Is she particular to a certain brand or style pad/tampon? Can you cook her favorite meal during this time?

Can you sit down and teach her some self care, encourage her to be easy on herself and do things she enjoys, and be with friends and stay busy. Encourage her to lounge and read all alone if she wants.

Puberty is weird, different, new and for some terrifying.
She misses her old uncomplicated body.
Give it some time.
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amother




Vermilion


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 3:00 pm
Raisin wrote:
Is she ocd in other areas? That sounds a little abnormal.

Maybe you can get her different products to make it easier. She may find tampons less messy and gross then pads, or vice versa. (or both) There is also the menstrual cup, and period underwear like thinkx.

Imagine if you were told that you would have blood coming out of ur elbow every month for 5 days. It's new for her and it's a big adjustment. For her, blood was scary cuz it meant it was from a boo-boo. Now suddenly blood is coming out of her *v*
OP take her out for ice cream and explain that this is part of growing up yada yada.
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Raisin




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 3:04 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
Imagine if you were told that you would have blood coming out of ur elbow every month for 5 days. It's new for her and it's a big adjustment. For her, blood was scary cuz it meant it was from a boo-boo. Now suddenly blood is coming out of her *v*
OP take her out for ice cream and explain that this is part of growing up yada yada.


I don't have to imagine. I was told that, and indeed it did happen, baruch hashem. Smile Maybe because I had such awful cramps to contend with the blood was kind of a secondary nuisance to me. Or maybe because I was a couple of years older it was less scary?
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amother




Orange


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 3:44 pm
Chocolate and ice cream
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sequoia




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 4:20 pm
Poor girl...

Ok, what if you sat down together and watched “The Year Dolly Parton Was My Mom,” and discussed it? There’s a whole period plot line there, and the main character is also 11.
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nchr




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 4:24 pm
Raisin wrote:
I don't have to imagine. I was told that, and indeed it did happen, baruch hashem. Smile Maybe because I had such awful cramps to contend with the blood was kind of a secondary nuisance to me. Or maybe because I was a couple of years older it was less scary?


I also think it is abnormal. I'd try to get to the bottom of it.
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 4:27 pm
I felt similarly and never really got over it. I hate my period. I’m not ocd at all, I just don’t like being dirty and wet and sore and irritable.
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