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How do you all manage?
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:19 pm
All you full time working moms. How?!?! I’m so exhausted!!
Here was my day:

7 am Get everyone dressed and breakfast.

7:50 put child #1 on bus
Make my coffe, pack some quick food for the day (a bar, a fruit)

8:35 drive child #2 to babysitter and child #3 to school

9:00 arrive at work

12 pm pump break bh pump enough for tomorrow’s bottle

2:30 leave work drive to make carpool at child #2 school. Drop off carpool kids, pick up child #3 from babysitter

3:25 arrive home. Shlep in baby, child, and pump bag regular bag, backpacks etc. nurse, give child #2 a snack bag, make a quiiicccckk dinner

4:30 go out to child#1 bus stop with other two children.

4:45 dinner bec pple are literally starvinggggggg

5:15-7:15 baths/showers, nurse, put baby to sleep, read book to child #2, put to bed, homework with child #1 beg to get into shower, put to bed.

7:15 collapse on couch. Cry at the mess around me. Wonder how I will get energy to even put away dinner let alone prepare everyone’s lunch and snack for tomorrow. Wait for husband to come home close to 11 exhausted from his long day. Have no idea how anyone works even longer hours. I’m not managing.
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simba




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:21 pm
It’s brutal. We aren’t managing any better.
One day at a time.
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amother




Wine


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:29 pm
It definitely is very difficult but keep in mind that once you get into a routine, it gets much easier. I'm assuming your kids have only been in school for a week or less. I always find it so hard the first week of school to coordinate my kids schedules pick up drop off babysitting ect, but after a few weeks things calm down we just get used to it. Hang in there!
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roses




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:42 pm
It's really hard. This is why many people have at home nannies/housekeepers. Because a day like this is just too much for one person.
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ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:46 pm
When you have a baby it's that much harder. This will shall pass! Hug
Is there any way for your dh to get some of the kids off in the morning? Make you lunch and snacks the night before?
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keym




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:54 pm
Here are some of my tricks:
1) twice a week, dh prepares crock pot dinner at night, sticks it in the fridge. Morning, one of us turns it on. Done.
2) when I get home, I settle the kids with something, a screen if necessary, and I doze off for 15 minutes. Really helps.
3) after the kids are in bed, I sit for 10 minutes and do nothing. Then I do as much basic laundry, dishes, basic straighten, pack lunches and bags. I treat myself when I'm done. Ice cream, chocolate, read a magazine, watch something, hobby, exercise, whatever works for you.
4) much lower expectations. Clean clothing, reasonably nutritious food, etc.

Hang in there. The beginning is always very rough. Having a nursing baby makes it worse.
You'll find your rhythm and personal shortcuts.
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:55 pm
roses wrote:
It's really hard. This is why many people have at home nannies/housekeepers. Because a day like this is just too much for one person.


I wish. I just can’t afford it😟
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amother




Ginger


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 7:57 pm
My day sounds very similar, with slightly longer hours plus one more kid. I am not currently nursing my infant though, which I find extra stressful.

I can’t really say I’m managing. Like others said, it’s one day at a time over here. Some days I feel like I almost have it together, and some days everything falls apart. It’s rough. Please go easy on yourself.
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amother




Wheat


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 8:25 pm
Don't really manage, just muddle through and hope my family will forgive/forget.
I also find that working part time is the hardest balance; you get the hardest parts of the workday and mom day.
If I were organized I'd love to say that prepping dinners in advance, waking up early etc are helpful, but I'm usu so exhausted by the time the kids are in bed I just want to sink into oblivion myself.
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bassarah1




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 8:26 pm
I always feel like we live day to day not like in a planned out fashion. here are a few things I started doing that help:
we plan the dinners for the week on sunday and do a lot of the prep then, inlcuding making make sure we have all ingredients for the week.
my husband started making the lunches in the morning which takes one thing off my list
this may be controversial and or bad parenting but I get at least a half hour a day with the TV on (often daniel tiger which feels educational)
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amother




Blush


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 8:30 pm
I beg you to get cleaning help if possible and leave whatever you can to her.
Try to cook and freeze on sundays.
Use a crockpot to prepare dinner.
Don't bathe the kids every day if it's too stressful.
Cook and bake in disposable pans and serve in disposables so cleanup is minimal.
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amother




Puce


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 8:46 pm
Another Ima here who muddles through.
Full time job. Long commute. Special needs.
My standards for nutrition, hygiene and hachnosas orchim won't win me any awards. I won't be honored at any dinners.
But baruch Hashem we make it work.
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amother




Red


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 9:32 pm
Op I have a similar schedule to you plus I clock 2 more hours at night. Hashem gives me strength idk how ... but yes its exhausting!! I never have a hard time falling asleep
7:30-830- both kids wake up. Bathe them (I do my makeup while they bathe) , dress them (dress myself in 10 seconds flat), make their hair, breakfast (we do this quick. Options are always yogurt, cereal or frozen waffels in the toaster) while they eat I make sandwhiches for lunch and cut up a fruit. Dump that in their bags with water bottle and a bought snack.
8:35 bus stop with DD1
8:45 drop off DD2 by morah
9:00 come home and daven, eat, clean up from morning
10:00 1st client of the day (I work from home)
3:00 finish work by the skin of my teeth
3:10 pickup DD2
3:30 wait at DD1 bus stop
Come home and kids eat snack and I prep dinner. Then we play till approx 6 or 630, we eat dinner, clear off from dinner
7:30 books and bed (we bathe in a.m cuz kids sleep in pullups)
8:00 1st evening client.
10:00 finish work
Sometime after that DH comes home. Ill shower and be alseep by 11 usually ....
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amother




Peach


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 9:41 pm
Where are all your dhs in this?
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amother




Pumpkin


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 9:57 pm
My husband is gone from 6:30am til 7:30pm on an average day. Can be worse sometimes.

Do none of you have older kids? Homework is the real killer around here...
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 10:09 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
Where are all your dhs in this?


Um, like I said, at work. Away 8-11 sometimes later
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amother




Khaki


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 10:17 pm
How do you all manage? We don’t!

We hire loads of cleaning help, mothers helpers, order takeout...everybody has their shortcuts. Perfect families are just an illusion.

Btdt u have ur hands full, u need to ease ur burden if u don’t wanna fall on ur nose!
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amother




Peach


Post  Tue, Sep 10 2019, 10:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Um, like I said, at work. Away 8-11 sometimes later


Having your kids at three different schools is the killer for you. Is there anyway to get one a ride or put two together?
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amother




Babyblue


Post  Wed, Sep 11 2019, 12:25 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
All you full time working moms. How?!?! I’m so exhausted!!
Here was my day:

7 am Get everyone dressed and breakfast.

7:50 put child #1 on bus
Make my coffe, pack some quick food for the day (a bar, a fruit)

8:35 drive child #2 to babysitter and child #3 to school

9:00 arrive at work

12 pm pump break bh pump enough for tomorrow’s bottle

2:30 leave work drive to make carpool at child #2 school. Drop off carpool kids, pick up child #3 from babysitter

3:25 arrive home. Shlep in baby, child, and pump bag regular bag, backpacks etc. nurse, give child #2 a snack bag, make a quiiicccckk dinner

4:30 go out to child#1 bus stop with other two children.

4:45 dinner bec pple are literally starvinggggggg

5:15-7:15 baths/showers, nurse, put baby to sleep, read book to child #2, put to bed, homework with child #1 beg to get into shower, put to bed.

7:15 collapse on couch. Cry at the mess around me. Wonder how I will get energy to even put away dinner let alone prepare everyone’s lunch and snack for tomorrow. Wait for husband to come home close to 11 exhausted from his long day. Have no idea how anyone works even longer hours. I’m not managing.


I have it easier than you.
I live in Europe, I don't work the first year after birth. So the whole pumping, breastfeeding isn't an issue by the time I go back to work. The kindergarten is in the same street as our house (5 houses in between) so my husband takes all 3 at once. I pick them up. They're all in the same kindergarten in different groups.
I work from 6 am until 2.30 or 3 pm and pick them up. Husband works from 8 am until 5 pm and he brings them. I have flexible hours so Fridays I only work until 12 or 1 pm so I go home cook and pick them up around 2.30 or 3.
Next year my oldest will go to school, she will be walking with her friend who lives next door and is 3 years older. The school is 10 minutes walking distance.

I wouldn't manage different pick up times and different schools etc. We are lucky because there's a sibling bonus, if you have one child in that kindergarten, the siblings don't get turned down. And they take kids from 8 months up to 6 years.

We do order take out sometimes, we don't have cleaning help though. My husband finds it embarrassing to let someone clean up our mess. So sometimes our house is a huge mess. I try to tidy everything perfectly for shabbos. My husband can't help on fridays because he doesn't have flexible hours like me. He does cook during the week or prepares food for the next day when I bathe the kids which is a huge help for me. We go grocery shopping once a week and buy tons which unfortunately ends up being thrown out .. I don't have the time to buy fresh veggies daily though.
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amother




Tangerine


Post  Wed, Sep 11 2019, 1:23 am
Hi!

We don't manage! That's the secret!

My day starts at 6am, get one kid out to school, make lunches for everyone, get everyone up and dressed, carpool, run to work, get yelled at by all my bosses for things that aren't my fault, and I cry about it on the way home.

Get home to carpool at 5, and then at 6, and sometimes at 7. (I have boys) Have to make dinner when I get home, also make little bits of shabbos throughout the week. Clean up a bit at night so that we don't live like pigs.

I do have cleaning help.

Do homework with everyone, act like I care about everyone's day (I do) while surreptitiously do more work on my computer to try to avoid getting yelled at the next day (I still do), handle work calls and teacher calls about how tired my children are and why they always have the same lunches (they're picky and they refuse to sleep).

Then, at times like these, I stay up late to do one thing a night to prepare for Rosh Hashana and Succos because there's a million yom tov days I don't have time to cook for. And also work at my second job. And also deal with a broken major appliance.

I wedge in calls to my friends and family to keep me sane. I also have a husband that works three jobs! So we either speak at 1am or on shabbos for five minutes before we each pass out.

Sundays are the shopping and prep days. And we get everything delivered by amazon. My food won't win awards, my kids seem okay but they could probably use more parental attention, and some days I fantasize about leaving everything behind and going on those yoga retreats and eating salads all day.

But I also love my life and I'm so grateful to Hashem for the jobs that keep us in a house, that allow us to pay full tuition for all our kids, and the fact that I go grocery shopping and if I really want it, I get it, and I don't think twice. Kiss your kids and kiss your husband and know that one day we will look back and long to be busy with everyone again.
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