Dd not handling Back to School nights

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amother

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 5:24 pm

We have kids in several different schools in several different towns, at different age levels. Tonight will be the third night in a row that I am out this week, and next week there are two in a row. This week, there was a night I was gone three hours, and next week it will be more. I do need to go to these. I would love to send dh, but his work hours don't allow. Even if they did, I'm the primary one dealing with schooling and homework, and everyone has new teachers and some new schools this year.

Dd needs me home. She loves dh, but needs me. She feels abandoned. She has a really hard time going to sleep when I'm not home. Carving out time for her doesn't help, because she needs the consistency. She could handle one week like this but not two. What can I do?

amother

Maroon

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 6:54 pm

Call the teachers. It's really not that important to go in.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 7:18 pm

I generally make an effort to go to back to school night, but this year I couldn't make it at one school for various reasons. And dh will be going alone to one at another school. I did touch base with the teachers so they know that I am an involved parent who just couldn't attend this time. It's ok.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 8:12 pm

I missed my girls back to school night. I'll be calling the teachers. It's not a must to go to, it's not like PTA when the teachers actually know their students.

amother

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 8:58 pm

Thank you. My back to school nights (except hers) are all for middle school and high school. So all of them have multiple teachers; six or seven for middle school, and my high school kids have ten or more; one has fifteen. I missed a back to school night once and it took me over a month to catch them all. If I don't go or speak to them, I don't ever get the info on the class, including major deadlines, etc. And I find that if I have seen and heard the teachers face to face, I can better assess my kids' complaints and assessments of them.

It just feels like I'm giving up on a lot that will help me through the year.

amother

Green

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 9:27 pm

I would go to orientation, I think it's super important. How old is your dd that can't handle you out of the house? It doesn't seem healthy that your dd can't handle you not being home for a few nights...

amother

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 9:46 pm

It's the fact that its multiple nights in a row, and some are for 3-4 hours (including travel time.) She's in fifth grade. And she is being babysat by siblings.

amother

Green

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 10:09 pm

A fifth grader should not need to be babysat by siblings. Why don't you give her some independence and she may not be so upset you are going out. Something like she needs to get her hw done and go to bed by x time (older siblings can let you know if she did this) but her older sibs won't be bossing her around. Maybe do pizza or other fun supper that night. If she does those things the first night you are out she can stay up an extra 1/2 hour rest of nights cause she is being mature and/or give her opportunity to do something/stay up later on the weekend. Or maybe she can sleepover at a friend one of the nights to keep her busy...

seeker

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 10:37 pm

Unless there's something really unusual going on, she'll survive. It's two weeks in the scheme of life.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Sep 12 2019, 11:11 pm

Is she an anxious kid in general? I was assuming you're talking about a four year old.

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