70y old couple in ICU after IVF twins

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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trixx

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 8:37 pm

The recent thread of old parents came to mind...
https://www.yahoo.com/news/wor......html

amother

Azure

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 8:46 pm

Sad

IrenaFr

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 8:48 pm

I am totally for having a baby in any age if it happened naturally but I am against IVF after the average menopause age .
Very creepy and unnatural and not fair for the children and for the poor women’s body .

IrenaFr

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 8:51 pm

BTW , they used this old woman body to bring her husbands children , not hers . Very cruel and unfair.

amother

Ruby

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:04 pm

trixx wrote:

The recent thread of old parents came to mind...
https://www.yahoo.com/news/wor......html

Yikes! I hope everybody understands the difference between naturally becoming pregnant at 45 and undergoing IVF at 70! Surprised

DrMom

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:24 pm

IrenaFr wrote:

BTW , they used this old woman body to bring her husbands children , not hers . Very cruel and unfair.

How are the babies not hers too?

ra_mom

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:26 pm

Selfish

bsy

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:29 pm

DrMom wrote:

How are the babies not hers too?

Donor eggs, husbands sperm

Sebastian

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:30 pm

DrMom wrote:

How are the babies not hers too?

Donor eggs. His sperm

DrMom

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:40 pm

bsy wrote:

Donor eggs, husbands sperm

Yes, I know that. But that's different from saying that the babies are not hers, and that the wife was simply "used" as some sort of rent-a-womb (which is what the other post implied).

amother

Ginger

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:48 pm

IrenaFr wrote:

BTW , they used this old woman body to bring her husbands children , not hers . Very cruel and unfair.

This old woman was the man’s wife for 50+ years.

I’m assuming this is a language issue.

Frum women use donor eggs to have children. Please kindly consider the impact of your words.

abaker

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 11:55 pm

I am all for having children but this doesn't make sense. These very elderly people aren't even able to currently care for their newborns, never mind raise them to adulthood. What was the point? They should have done ivf YEARS ago. Or adopted while they were still young.

mirror

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 12:04 am

The real question is, why stop at age 74? Why not experiment on women in their 90s? This opens up real possibilities for all those older single men in their 50s and 60s who want baby machines. They can pick up women in nursing homes and marry them for reproductive purposes

southernbubby

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 12:13 am

Somehow I can't picture it becoming a trend

mig100

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 12:44 am

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

Yikes! I hope everybody understands the difference between naturally becoming pregnant at 45 and undergoing IVF at 70! Surprised

This. A thousand times over!

southernbubby

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 1:00 am

There was a 60 year old American woman who was a surrogate for her gay son but that may be the upper limit in America.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 2:49 am

A birth mother is considered the mother according to halacha, not whoever gave the eggs. This women is actually the mother.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:22 am

southernbubby wrote:

There was a 60 year old American woman who was a surrogate for her gay son but that may be the upper limit in America.

But this is different. The baby was hopefully going to parents who were younger than 60.

I think this couple was completely selfish. And why did they not do this years and years ago? These twins are going to grow up with out parents when they are pretty young. Or parents that are extremely sickly and old.

I find this very selfish, and I say that as someone who went through a lot of years of fertility treatments and not getting pregnant. There has to be a point at which you say "enough" no more trying, as it wont be fair to the child we might have.

southernbubby

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 7:54 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

From purely a health standpoint, it was extremely risky.
I agree that full time childcare as well as the costs are beyond the capabilities of most people that age. Sometimes elderly grandparents end up trying to raise orphaned or abandoned grandchildren but few at that age can handle the full time care of two babies.
He must have enough money for a live in nanny. Otherwise, how is it physically possible for them?
Like the doctor who did IVF on Octomom, this guy should not be able to do this again.

ora_43

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 8:03 am

They are in their 70s and live in India. Do the math - IVF wasn't available to them back when they were young enough that getting pregnant would have been considered normal.

As for why wait this long - apparently they heard of another post-menopause woman (in her 50s) from their area who had successfully had a child with IVF, and that's what made them aware of this as an option.

I'm not saying it was a good idea, but it's not like they were sitting around five years ago saying, "should we try IVF now? Nahh, we're too young for that. Let's give ourselves a few more years to enjoy retirement before giving it up to care for babies."

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