Instagrammer blocked me

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 11:14 pm

[quote="amother [ Powderblue ]"]

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

In 1980, the American Psychiatric Association removed the term neurosis from its diagnostic manual as part of a revamp to standardize the criteria for mental illnesses. Today, neurosis is not a stand-alone mental condition. Instead, doctors most often put its symptoms in the same category as anxiety disorder. In other words, what used to be called neurosis now falls under the umbrella of anxiety.[/quot

Sigh. Just read the rest and Google if you want more information on terms that are being used clinically. That doesn't mean it's a diagnosis. But it's a term that is used in clinical settings( if you understand the difference).

OCD is a recognized diagnosis - and it’s really difficult to live with and very hard to treat.

A person who self describes as having neurotic tendencies, probably does. Not sure what the issue is, and who would be offended.

creditcards

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 11:37 pm

solo wrote:

I noticed that [an Instagrammer] frequently uses the term ocd to describe the way she organizes things. So a while ago I sent her a dm with a post from a mental health page describing how hurtful this kind of usage is. Then today when she referred to her preference for same sized spice jars as ocd and I commented with the same message she sent me a bunch of angry messages. Thanked me for commenting (cuz she had sent me a dm previously requesting I post my comments on her page) Said that since she worked in the mental health field she knows better. And blocked me.
I know it’s a shallow account used as a platform for influencing materialism. But she also preaches kindness and consideration in her stories. So this surprised me.
Not annon cuz I know I’m gonna be talking about this.

How do you know she is not suffering from OCD?
Imagine myself mentioning my OCD and getting a message from someone that it's hurtful the way I use this word. That would be very hurtful to me. Its insensitive. She has OCD and she used the term correctly. Why are you messaging her not to use it? That is so invalidating.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 12:40 am

Nathan Anderson wrote:

I have a friend who gets angry when people joke that they have OCD. He says that using it as a slang term for “excessively organized” is offensive. And I agree with him. I think those people are dumb. Or I would, except that historically, “dumb” is a medical term that means “unable to speak”, which isn’t what I’m claiming.

So I’d say they’re lame. Except that “lame” means “paralyzed” and using that term informally should be just as offensive as misusing OCD.

It makes me spaz out, but spaz is short for “spastic” and I’m not literally claiming that I have cerebral palsy. Instead of joking that they have OCD, they should say they’re backside retentive. But then you’d offend people who were actually constipated.

I’d call them morons, imbeciles, or idiots. But they don’t have IQs below 70, 50, or 25, and apparently we shouldn't use medical terms unless we’re making an official diagnosis.

Using terms for mental disabilities as slang is crazy. It’s insane. It drives me mad.

But I realize language evolves. And as medical terms are co-opted as slang, doctors come up with new terms and the world goes on. It’s happened before, it will happen again and the only reason people notice OCD is because it’s ongoing. Logically, there’s no reason to single out this particular term, while considering the others acceptable.

So I no longer get offended when people who don’t literally have OCD claim that they do. I realize they’re exaggerating for comedic effect.

Because I’m not a ******* ret*rd.

solo

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 5:57 am

creditcards wrote:

Why would having a diagnosis make it ok for her to use the term in a way that minimizes or misinforms? Imagine if she used her for platform to educate people. Or imagine that she didn’t want to use her platform to educate so she didn’t. But she used her platform with kindness and consideration and when she was to busy to actually spread kindness at least made an effort not to be hurtful or harmful

amother

Brunette

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 6:46 am

solo wrote:

With all due respect it’s not up to you to decide what she uses her platform for...
I’m shocked that you cannot see how you are so out of line.

Let me ask u this: Why didn’t you unfollow her yourself when you were so offended by her misuse of language?

But decided to come onto this public site with her name for all to read about & think negatively about her ???
When I first read this last night I was really surprised that you used her name. (Till the title was changed) Loshon hara to the Max.

groovy1224

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 7:04 am

solo wrote:

I could t know because she blocked me.
I sent her a message directing her to a mental health page and she sent me some very angry and defensive messages and then blocked me

She was posting on her stories about a very nasty message she got from someone (not related to your message), so she was probably just fed up when she read yours.

solo

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 7:23 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

Just to be clear. I wasn’t offended by her misuse of language. I was sad that she was unintentionally using a diagnosis that causes people so much anguish as an adjective. And I didn’t just scroll past because I thought that if I reached out or spoke up to inform her she would be more considerate.
Truth is I hardly noticed how people misuse and humorously use medical diagnoses as descriptors until a really sweet 6 year old boy that I know was diagnosed with ocd. Here was a real person struggling in ways I hadn’t understood because of all the misconceptions in the way we use the term.
I’m a shy person. Not a public figure. But I’ve since spoken up when I hear ppl casually referring to stereotypic behavior in this way. It’s never incurred this kinda anger.

amother

Silver

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 7:56 am

solo wrote:

I could t know because she blocked me.
I sent her a message directing her to a mental health page and she sent me some very angry and defensive messages and then blocked me

Oh I can see that as being offensive. She thought you’re accusing her of having a mental health issue.

And as a poster said above, she was also very fed up probably. The message she received was so rude.

watergirl

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 8:32 am

solo wrote:

I hear you (and I'm the one who edited your post to remove the names).

My mother A"H suffered her entire life with severe OCD. Like, SEVERE. It haunted her until her last breath. From the time she realized she had a serious issue in her early 20s until she passed in her late 60s, she was medicated and in therapy, and those who know how medications have evolved over the last 100 years know that it was horrific when she started. So I get it. I am very sensitive to people using mental health as slang. Or ANY diagnosis as slang. It is not ok.

But I prefer to try to make change where I can. I can educate people near and dear to me. So when my MIL jokes that she has OCD and thats why she like things to be "just so" and control things, I finally sat down with her and told her to stop. She does not have OCD. She just likes to be in charge of things. And I told her why it is offensive to use a diagnosis as slang. She got it and stopped.

There are actual halachos about how and when to give someone tochacha. You may want to learn how to do this properly if you want to make real change.

Hatzlacha!

creditcards

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 9:23 pm

watergirl wrote:

OCD has a spectrum. She was describing that she needs all her containers to be the same. Who says that is not OCD. What is wrong with calling it that way? Because you know someone who has much more severe OCD? That's still OCD even if there is much worse. My daughter is Autistic full forse. Should I be insulted when kids get diagnosed with autism that look so normal and just have some behavioral issues because my daughter is much more severely autistic?

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Sep 16 2019, 9:40 pm

creditcards wrote:

This is what is required for an OCD diagnosis - obsessions, as defined below, and/or compulsions as defined below.

Generally speaking - wanting things to be 'just so' with a smile on your face wouldn't meet the criteria.

A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:

Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2):

1. Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or impulses that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.

2.The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (I.e., by performing a compulsion).

Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2):

1. Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.

2.The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive.

watergirl

Tue, Sep 17 2019, 8:08 am

creditcards wrote:

Are you asking me whats wrong with the Instagram person calling preference for the same sized containers OCD, or are you asking me whats wrong with my MIL using OCD as slang to describe the way she likes to be in control? Regarding the Instagram lady, no, preferring your containers to be the same size, with no other symptoms, is NOT OCD. It is a preference.

Are you offended when people who do not have an autism diagnosis refer to themselves as autistic because they get annoyed when their routine is broken? Or when a room is too loud for someone?

I'm honestly baffled with your comment to my post. I was clear that it is not ok for someone to use a diagnosis as a slang. I am not talking about someone who is on the spectrum of something using the name of the dx to explain why they do something.

In my post, I was validating OP's feelings ("I hear you") and used my own experience to tell her about giving tochacha. I did not refer to the Instagram lady at all. You seem to be conflating things here.

Now, if this Insragram lady DOES have OCD (wherever she sits on the spectrum), then I have no issue with her using the term to describe her preference for the same sized containers. But I believe that is not the case, knowing who she is talking about and how she uses slang in general.

And re: spectrum of OCD, to have the dx, you actually need to fulfill certain criteria with specific frequency, as out lined by the DSM. So the symptoms can be worse in some people than in others, but even mild is quite severe.