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amother




OP


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:34 am
So, we had a couple with a 9 month old baby girl stay at our house this past Shabbos. My husband knows the husband, but I really don't know either one of the couple.

Anyway, Shabbos morning the baby started screaming at 6:30 am, and continued straight for 3 hours. I happened to have woken up at 5 am just naturally and was reading in the living room. I felt very bad though for the rest of my family and the other guests who were staying upstairs. No one said anything, but you could tell people were waking up, and a bit sleepy. One of our guests took a walk a 7 am (this certainly could have been her normal routine, but she's stayed with us before and has never gotten up before 9!)

The parents didn't really seem to care. The father was like, "It's my wife's job to take care of the baby, so I ignored both of them." The mother was like, "I just wanted to sleep, so ignored the baby and hoped my husband would wake up and take care of her."

3 things:
I feel very annoyed that they let her scream and didn't do anything. If I were them, I would have taken the baby downstairs to a playroom or on a walk., even up and down the driveway!

Also, if you were in that situation, with a screaming baby, and 20 other people sleeping, what would you have done?

Finally, would you ever invite them back?
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jewishmom6




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:37 am
OMG. If it was my baby I would have for sure taken the baby downstairs not to wake anyone.
I would be soo upset if I was hosting her.
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Squishy




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So, we had a couple with a 9 month old baby girl stay at our house this past Shabbos. My husband knows the husband, but I really don't know either one of the couple.

Anyway, Shabbos morning the baby started screaming at 6:30 am, and continued straight for 3 hours. I happened to have woken up at 5 am just naturally and was reading in the living room. I felt very bad though for the rest of my family and the other guests who were staying upstairs. No one said anything, but you could tell people were waking up, and a bit sleepy. One of our guests took a walk a 7 am (this certainly could have been her normal routine, but she's stayed with us before and has never gotten up before 9!)

The parents didn't really seem to care. The father was like, "It's my wife's job to take care of the baby, so I ignored both of them." The mother was like, "I just wanted to sleep, so ignored the baby and hoped my husband would wake up and take care of her."

3 things:
I feel very annoyed that they let her scream and didn't do anything. If I were them, I would have taken the baby downstairs to a playroom or on a walk., even up and down the driveway! Not much I could of done, though.

Also, if you were in that situation, with a screaming baby, and 20 other people sleeping, what would you have done?

Finally, would you ever invite them back?


I would not invite them back.

I would knock on their door, after giving them a chance to soothe the baby, and tell them their baby is crying and to take the baby downstairs.

It's chutzpah what they did.
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amother




Forestgreen


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:42 am
Wow, poor baby Sad

I would not have them back. If it was a situation where I was strongly expected to, I would let them know that the crying woke people up last time and they will need to take her downstairs and calm her down when she wakes up.

I am ultra sensitive as a guest and I really can't fathom not caring
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ShishKabob




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:42 am
Squishy wrote:
I would not invite them back.

I would knock on their door, after giving them a chance to soothe the baby, and tell them their baby is crying and to take the baby downstairs.

It's chutzpah what they did.

I agree. It's one thing to do this in your house, it's a totally other thing to do this when you're guests. very not ok.
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Blessing1




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:43 am
It's one thing when the baby is crying and you're trying to soothe her and she's still crying, sometimes there's nothing you can do. It's a total different story when the parents choose to ignore the crying deliberately, knowing that they're disturbing others. This is unbelievable chutzpa and disrespect. I wouldn't have them back.

Last edited by Blessing1 on Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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tweety1




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:43 am
During the situation I wouldn't do or say a thing but that would be the last time they'd be in my house.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:53 am
tweety1 wrote:
During the situation I wouldn't do or say a thing but that would be the last time they'd be in my house.


If I'm going to be 100% honest, I probably would have quietly seethed and not said a word, but never had them back.

If you're asking what the right thing to do would have been, I'd say knock on their door and ask if there was a problem with the baby, and do they need us to help find a doctor -- a baby crying that long could be really sick. And when they said she was fine, point out that unfortunately, the crying was disturbing others who wanted to sleep a bit later, so they should take baby for a walk. (Or maybe feeding and changing her would have done it.)
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Iymnok




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 11:58 am
tweety1 wrote:
During the situation I wouldn't do or say a thing but that would be the last time they'd be in my house.

A baby should not be left to cry that long. I’d knock on the door and ask if they need something. If they don’t, tell them to try to keep quiet since others are still trying to sleep.
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lcraighten




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 12:35 pm
3 hours!!! That is totally not okay.

I would knock on their door and tell them that their child is screaming and if they didn't do anything, I probably would have just taken their baby myself, even though I should probably make them do it.

I also would not have them back without a guarantee that they will not do that again. Honestly, I probably wouldn't get along with people who would let their child scream for 3 hours at someone else's house.
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amother




Copper


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 2:06 pm
Oh no poor kid!
I would have sat there at first just super mad (especially if they had woken me up!). And then I would knock on their door and say "is your baby ok?!"
And then I wouldn't invite them back until all their kids are grown up.
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simba




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 2:11 pm
I would have knocked and offered help at some point. Neglectful parents get no mercy from me.
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amother




Purple


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 2:18 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
If I'm going to be 100% honest, I probably would have quietly seethed and not said a word, but never had them back.

If you're asking what the right thing to do would have been, I'd say knock on their door and ask if there was a problem with the baby, and do they need us to help find a doctor -- a baby crying that long could be really sick. And when they said she was fine, point out that unfortunately, the crying was disturbing others who wanted to sleep a bit later, so they should take baby for a walk. (Or maybe feeding and changing her would have done it.)


I am passive aggressive-pushy and this exactly what I would have done. Maybe even phrase it that if they didn't want to walk the baby that I would gladly take her.
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LovesHashem




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 2:43 pm
Who cares about the guests?
Letting a baby cry for 3 hours and ignoring her needs is abuse.
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amother




Smokey


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 6:28 pm
I can't believe they both ignored a crying baby for 3 hours in a house full of strangers! That's beyond rude and so wrong on every level. No, I wouldn't invite them back. I probably would have interfered, as suggested above.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 6:35 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
Who cares about the guests?
Letting a baby cry for 3 hours and ignoring her needs is abuse.


THIS!

I would not have offered to take the baby. I would knock on the door and insist that the parents get up and take care of their child. They need to know that it is NOT OK to ignore a baby, and that nice strangers are not going to rescue them so they can go back to sleep.

Mad Mad Mad Poor baby. If this is a pattern, the child is going to eventually learn not to cry, because no one will come. The parents will think they have "trained" the baby not to cry so much, but instead they'll find out they have a kid with Reactive Attachment Disorder.
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amother




Tan


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 6:48 pm
I would keep the baby n get mums tubes tied!!
Castrate the dad too for his bad attitude!
Lazy disgraceful people.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 7:34 pm
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
I would keep the baby n get mums tubes tied!!
Castrate the dad too for his bad attitude!
Lazy disgraceful people.


Rolling Laughter Help Rolling Laughter
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amother




Silver


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 8:20 pm
LovesHashem wrote:
Who cares about the guests?
Letting a baby cry for 3 hours and ignoring her needs is abuse.



Exactly my thoughts.
This is far from OK even in the privacy of their own home.
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EPL




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 9:12 pm
Is this their first and only child? It's amazing that parents can behave in that way! Shame on them!
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