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Traumatic birth and baby massaging

 
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a1mom!




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 2:36 pm
My baby is 13 months old. She has just started a new daycare. Last year she was in a different daycare and she was fine over there. Now it's been 2 weeks already and she is just really miserable. She cries, refuses to eat and is very sad. A friend has told me that she thinks my baby is behaving that way due to her traumatic birth; she was in hospital for 3 weeks, and that she would benefit from massaging. I'm wondering if massaging would be if any benefit? Or is it nothing to worry about.

Any thoughts?


Last edited by a1mom! on Wed, Sep 18 2019, 3:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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veiznisht




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 3:10 pm
Why wouldn't your first thought be, maybe it's the daycare?
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amother




Rose


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 3:33 pm
I assure you that a 13 month old that just SWITCHED TO A NEW DAYCARE (that was fine last year at a different daycare) isn't suddenly miserable because she had a traumatic birth. I promise you.
Babies are not traumatized by their hospital stays from when they're born, and for sure not 13 months later.
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stillnewlywed




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 3:38 pm
I don't think it has anything to do with birth...it wouldn't just come up a year later.
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a1mom!




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 4:29 pm
Thanks for your replies. She is generally a happy baby, but has always been really scared of strangers. When she would go to others, she'd always cling to me. And if she was herself would cry quite a lot. She was like this from very young. This person I spoke to claims that her muscles are very tight and that she seems anxious.
I always thought that this was just who she is; as opposed to some trauma.
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amother




cornflower


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 4:39 pm
She might just be an anxious baby, without having to go to the trauma. Or she is a baby who sometimes gets anxious, like all of us. Baby massage is actually pretty great and not that hard to learn- if you want to try it to see if it soothes her, go ahead.
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amother




Maroon


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 4:47 pm
there are lots of free resources online on how to massage your baby. forget about this traumatic birth theory.
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a1mom!




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 5:07 pm
So besides for the massaging.. do babies who have a traumatic birth- and she really went through a lot in her first few weeks, get affected?
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amother




Maroon


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 5:16 pm
a1mom! wrote:
So besides for the massaging.. do babies who have a traumatic birth- and she really went through a lot in her first few weeks, get affected?


drop the word "trauma" or "traumatic". She had a difficult birth.

And to your question - did this difficult birth and tough few weeks create mental trauma for her? Nobody here can answer that.
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shmosmom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 5:39 pm
Woah! The birth may have been traumatic for you, probably not for the baby (maybe physically difficult, that's another story).
I agree with commenter that it wouldn't reflect now. If it's just time to adjust to the new daycare, then it's a tough adjustment period. Or maybe that daycare just isn't a right match for her, she needs someplace new.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 5:55 pm
I don't know about all types of traumatic birth, but my daughter had trouble breathing at birth and required oxygen. We did not realize how developmentally delayed she was until she was 2.5, when we got her evaluated. After doing a bit of research, there is a correlation between lack of oxygen and developmental delays. We should have gotten her Early Intervention a lot earlier.
I don't know what type of trauma you're talking about, and I definitely don't know your daughter or if she is already getting services, but this is a case where an issue at birth would have long-term effects.
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a1mom!




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 6:01 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
I don't know about all types of traumatic birth, but my daughter had trouble breathing at birth and required oxygen. We did not realize how developmentally delayed she was until she was 2.5, when we got her evaluated. After doing a bit of research, there is a correlation between lack of oxygen and developmental delays. We should have gotten her Early Intervention a lot earlier.
I don't know what type of trauma you're talking about, and I definitely don't know your daughter or if she is already getting services, but this is a case where an issue at birth would have long-term effects.


The issue at birth was resolved by the time she left hospital three weeks later so I wouldn't compare it to your case
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amother




Lime


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 6:03 pm
Actually, medical research does support trauma in infants based on early life experiences. It's possible your baby was affected by her medical history, but it's also possible that she would have had this temperament either way. It can't hurt to get some guidance in helping her feel less anxious overall, seems this seems to be somewhat of a chronic problem for her.
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riks




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 6:46 pm
Why aren't you immediately checking if the daycare is doing a good job? You need to stop in randomly without telling them first during the day and see what they're doing. I would look into switching right away. There might be someone abusive or at least not taking care of her well. I'm sure it has nothing to do with her birth.
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shmosmom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 8:00 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
I don't know about all types of traumatic birth, but my daughter had trouble breathing at birth and required oxygen. We did not realize how developmentally delayed she was until she was 2.5, when we got her evaluated. After doing a bit of research, there is a correlation between lack of oxygen and developmental delays. We should have gotten her Early Intervention a lot earlier.
I don't know what type of trauma you're talking about, and I definitely don't know your daughter or if she is already getting services, but this is a case where an issue at birth would have long-term effects.

Trouble and difficulties at birth can definitely cause developmental delays (first hand experience here) and getting Early Intervention can surely help with them before they grow. Many babies who stay in the hospital after birth have specialty developmental pediatricians follow them after birth, and even her regular pediatrician should follow her development a bit more closely. But I think this sounds more like a reaction to the change to a new daycare. Can be coincidental tho, no theory can be denied.
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studying_torah




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Sep 18 2019, 8:14 pm
She also might have issues with muscle tone which is why she feels stiff
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cholentfan1




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 5:14 am
I think the first question is what is the daycare doing to help and support your baby settling in. 2 weeks isn't so long in the scheme of things and I can see a child not being fully settled yet by then, especially if they are nervous around strangers. But I would want to know the daycare is working with you to get her to settle in more quickly. Is there someone there that your daughter has taken to? I would want to know that there is one person who is her 'key-person' (I don't know how daycare works by you-we have a key-worker for each child, so that the child has one special person to bond with).

Have you tried sending in something with your scent on it to keep next to her? Some children settle better with a blanket, or even a sock that smells like mommy.

Baby massaging is supposed to be really good for babies and you can totally try it. I know people who do it as part of the bedtime routine and they say it calms them for sleeping.

Re traumatic birth. I also know people who feel strongly about this, and they do something called rebirthing. I think it has a lot to do with the emotional connection the mother and baby have. The idea is that the mother went through trauma and so there was a disconnect in the emotional bond and they need to reaffirm the bond. I think you have to believe in it for it to work.
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amother




Papaya


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 10:05 am
If she is the personality that is easily affected by traumatic experiences, then her birth could have affected her. However if the birth affected her this much then you better believe that her new daycare is affecting her much more.
An anxious personality is much more easily traumatized and a new daycare would for sure be hard for her.

Don’t dwell on the past. Focus on making your baby feel secure and happy in her environment now. You can undo past trauma by providing an overwhelming amount of reassurance and security until your baby is completely satisfied with her emotional needs.
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