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Not having money is REALLY hard😟
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:42 am
We always need stuff, I'm always pushing my kids off when they need things.
I'm always worrying about how I'll buy food, clothing, shoes, pay tuition, asoasf....
I tried convincing myself that it's easier this way, I can just pass right by stores, because I can't buy anything, anyhow. But it's NOT!
I wish I can just get my child shoes or uniform as soon as they need it, rather than worrying, waiting, and somehow saving up and buying it in the end!
Hashem is good to us, He always takes care of us in the end, I just wish I would have some financial peace of mind, and be able to be more organized with the shopping.
No one would dream that this is my reality. I always bh look good, and put together, it's a gift from Hashem that it doesn't take much for me to look good. But I would love to be more generous with myself and my family, treating myself, and just not being so stressed out whenever I realize that we need to buy something.
This has been going on ever since. May Hashem bless us and all Yidden in need, with a plentiful, healthy, happy year!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:58 am
Do you live OOT, where there are no gemachim or Jewish Family Services?

If you're in a big enough city, there should be a way to get shoes for low price or even free (donated, so not a lot of trendy styles to choose from.) Uniforms are donated to gemachs every year, so there should be quite a few sizes available, both boys and girls.

You really need to reach out to any organizations at all, and see what help is available. You might be surprised.
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amother




Lime


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:58 am
Amen! I get it. Money can't buy happiness, but having money is definitely a huge bracha in its own right.
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southernbubby




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:16 am
I like deals and bargains and went to a bargain store yesterday in Crown Heights called Clothes Outs where new sweaters were $5 each and I got 2 black ones in different styles. There were other frum women shopping there and it was possible to get something there that could be dressed up for Yom tov. I am not pretending that it's on the same level as the upscale Crown Heights stores that people dream of affording but it can be a way to have something new.

I live in Monsey and I admired something that my neighbor was wearing and it actually came from the Kupas Ezra thrift store. She picked up some for me on her next visit and I paid her back the dollar per item.

I am not saying that I wouldn't enjoy buying in the high end store and buying food without economizing but the reality is is that there are plenty of us out there who will go to shul grateful that we have something nice to wear and that there is a nice but humble YomTov meal to eat when we get home.
We have to realize that Hashem accepts our tefillos even if the best we can do is shop for bargains but we do have to make sure that we are not wearing shatnez or untznius clothing.
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amother




Amber


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:31 am
I hear you OP. Money is a major stress factor.
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to live without thinking about it. BH it’s not like we don’t have but there are always expenses.
For us it’s currently paying for weddings. Both past & upcoming.
We live abroad & married off sons & the travel expenses, wedding expenses & often sheva brochos expenses are simply crippling for a large family. Then there’s tuition of course.
For us it’s not clothing or school shoes but big ticket items like weddings & setting up the couple . The stress is always there even in the midst of what is a beautiful simcha.
We have family in EY who have always lived on a shoestring budget. I think they just have more bitachon than me.
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amother




Burlywood


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 11:34 am
I am in the same boat, we b"H really do have what we need, but the stress and waiting until Hashem finally sends the funds is very hard. I completely feel you... waiting until the day before some event to shop, because that's when the money finally arrived, and the kids asking, asking "when can we get such and such?".....for example, I really need something currently and my husband and I are waiting and budgeting for it, I am hopeful I will have it before Yomtov, but my teenage daughter won't stop talking about it, asking when I'll get it, even asking "how much does it cost? I want to save up my babysitting money for you" which is humiliating and painful. We try so hard to make excuses like "I don't have time to shop today," or "it's a big purchase so I don't want to rush into it.". My daughter wanted to start shopping for Yomtov already, and we are still figuring out how to pay for the new clothes, so she is buying with her own money, again, painful and humiliating, I just feel like screaming "please have patience!". So I'm working on davening and having bitachon, and opening myself up to more avenues for parnassah. But the waiting and pretending it's not because we can't afford it in front of the kids...beyond stressful, makes me feel harrassed, haggard, and bitter sometimes. Almost like, Yomtov will come and there will be new clothes, but I can't enjoy them because of the emotions leading up to their finally being purchased, with teens it's especially painful.... I am so sad sometimes ....Chin up, it will pass... giving that advice to myself, too!
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 11:37 am
Burlywood, it's good to hear from someone who gets it, although I wish you wouldn't have to live with this stress Sad
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amother




Burlywood


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 12:44 pm
Kesiva v'chasima tova and this year, parnassah b'revach!
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amother




Teal


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 2:30 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
Kesiva v'chasima tova and this year, parnassah b'revach!


new amother here. we have major financial issues. I mean, major. its hard to imagine how this will pass but I pray it will.
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 2:33 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
Amen! I get it. Money can't buy happiness, but having money is definitely a huge bracha in its own right.


These are my favorite versions of that quote:

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty"
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable"
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Rappel




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 2:34 pm
This is my terror.

May you have an easy year, full of bracha.
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amother




Pewter


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 3:12 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
These are my favorite versions of that quote:

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty"
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable"


Money can't buy happiness but I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini than on a bicycle.
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 3:51 pm
OP, I get you. My bank account is almost empty. I have several tuition bills that will be going out of my account on the next week. I bought my big boys suits for YT cause their old ones are ripped and way too small. It was charged to my CC which I cannot pay now.
I'm just davening that this year we finally cover our budget.
Nobody knows my situation. Everyone thinks we're comfortable - wealthy. But that's far from the truth.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 6:42 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
These are my favorite versions of that quote:

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty"
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable"


Or

"Whoever said money can't solve your problems
Must not have had enough money to solve 'em"

- Ariana Grande
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:36 pm
I don't try convincing myself that having a healthy, steady income will make us blissful, but at least I'll be able to focus on everything else, without the constant lack of funds keeping me back all the time.
Crazy, exhausting day? Pizza or takeout
Tired of walking? Taxi
Ironing stressing me out? Get someone to do it
Too many hours at work? Cut down, no problem
Busy Erev Shabbos? Buy some of the things
There are many more examples, but mostly I feel that it's not the luxuries that I need. I'm not sad that I can't buy designer clothing, or that we don't live in a mansion, I just want peace of mind, with the regular, necessary expenses getting taken care of without any stomach-squeezing stress.
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amother




Red


Post  Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:41 pm
Just needed to vent, so picked this thread.

People are complaining about needing to buy cheap shoes. I get it, but right now even cheap shoes are a luxury! I didn't buy anyone anything for Yom Tov. On the second day of R"H DH was blowing shofar for us at home and asked if there was any new clothing for a Shehecheyanu, and nope, not even socks or underwear. (I think I'm just jealous.)

B"H we have food, we paid the rent, together with the obscene late fee (had to wait until we had enough), and the kids are in school, so things are good overall.

But the credit cards are all maxed out again, so I can't get anything for Yom Tov until/unless we have cash in hand.

Sometimes it is hard and stressful.

Wishing everyone a year of harchava!
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amother




Coffee


Post  Fri, Oct 04 2019, 3:48 pm
OP, I know exactly how you feel . I dont know if this will make you feel better but at least you dont have to spend thousands of dollars every time you want to try to have kids . I bh have kids and would love to have more but we cant afford to do ivf again so here I am at 30 years old not having anymore kids . So I agree , not having money is really hard .
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amother




Burlywood


Post  Fri, Oct 04 2019, 6:27 pm
Everyone on this thread, please read:

At the time I wrote the post about my teens being especially difficult when it comes to waiting to purchase yomtov clothes, I undertook the segulah of lighting for the Riminover Rebbe, (something I had posted about before when I received an outstanding yeshua) and davened for abundant resources to purchase our yomtov clothing needs. The 40 days is only about half way complete, and b"H funds have come through in unexpected ways, and we b"H have things for Yomtov in a timely manner this year!!! Please, my sisters, don't despair, lean on your Tatty in Himmel, and tell Him how you need His help. I bench you all your financial yeshuos and ample parnassah the whole year through!! Gmar chasima tova and a gut Yomtov!
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amother




OP


Post  Sat, Oct 05 2019, 3:35 pm
Burlywood, I'm trying your segulah starting tonight! We have to remember where Parnassa comes from!
To the amother who mentioned the cost of IVF, thanks for reminding me to thank Hashem for His chasadim.
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southernbubby




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Oct 05 2019, 8:06 pm
I davened you in a shul today where the rabbi announced that the shul has accounts in 2 stores, one that sells food and the other that sells children's clothes and he encouraged those in need to use it and those who could afford to donate to the accounts. This is in Crown Heights.
I think that the accounts are for shul members so I am not sure if it is for others but this, to me anyway, represents the ideal solution to make sure that everyone has a great Yom tov.
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