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Not having money is REALLY hard😟
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amother




Coffee


Post  Sat, Oct 05 2019, 9:24 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Burlywood, I'm trying your segulah starting tonight! We have to remember where Parnassa comes from!
To the amother who mentioned the cost of IVF, thanks for reminding me to thank Hashem for His chasadim.

You're welcome. May we both have parnasah for wtvr we need (before my time runs out Sad
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amother




Mauve


Post  Sat, Oct 05 2019, 11:35 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
OP, I know exactly how you feel . I dont know if this will make you feel better but at least you dont have to spend thousands of dollars every time you want to try to have kids . I bh have kids and would love to have more but we cant afford to do ivf again so here I am at 30 years old not having anymore kids . So I agree , not having money is really hard .


In the same situation. Same age too. Was feeling like the only one.
Yes-it's so hard to face that reality!
May this new year bring us all yeshuos in all of these areas.
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amother




Red


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 1:48 am
Back to kvetch again, well this keeps me from kvetching to poor DH again!

Yom Tov is starting tomorrow night. I discovered that I am out of potatoes. No problem, right? Just run to the store and buy some!

Except that we don't have a car, and the closest grocery store is a half hour walk. So I have to decide if I can spare DH on a crazy Erev Yom Tov for an extra hour (which might wear him out), if my potatoes are worth an extra $20 for the taxi (minimum $10 trip here, no uber), or if I should try to figure out how to make Yom Tov without potatoes.

We have no new clothes for Yom Tov, for any of us. I was really hoping to buy new shoes at least for some of the kids, a number are literally falling apart. I could use new shoes myself, I currently live in Crocs that have no tread left on the bottom, because my sneakers (4+ years old) look awful and my Shabbos shoes (5+ years old) are uncomfortable.

It's VERY hard to buy new shoes for only one kid when it feels like a real Shehecheyanu event, it's just going to make everyone else jealous. But new shoes for all the kids is a $100+ project at minimum.

My credit card bill is late, for the first time in a long time. Other bills are coming up too. Rent was due a few days ago, and we have under $150 in all of the accounts combined.

OTOH I ordered the kids books I promised them a long time ago TTTO about $50. (I hate having to justify things like that. That's one of the worst parts about being poor and on the receiving end, having that kind of decision be judged so harshly.)

To end off on a more positive note, I am a multimillionaire B"H in that my kids are happy, growing, sweet and so pleasant to spend time with (most of the time!). They help each other and me, and those books? They earned them by helping out above and beyond. (We don't have cleaning help now, and I really need that help!)

Gut Yom Tov everyone! Bask in Hashem's warm Sukkah hug!
May this year be Tehei Shnas Parnasa for all Yidden, in Gashmius and in Ruchnius!
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Fox




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 1:56 am
I'm 58, and the past six months have been the first time since I got married that I didn't experience most of the things described in this thread. One winter we even had no heat -- in Chicago!

But keep davening and keep solving one problem at a time; Hashem will help, and it will get better! May this year be one of ample parnosseh, healthy children, contentment, and shalom bayis for us all.
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TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 2:02 am
amother [ Red ] wrote:
Back to kvetch again, well this keeps me from kvetching to poor DH again!

Yom Tov is starting tomorrow night. I discovered that I am out of potatoes. No problem, right? Just run to the store and buy some!

Except that we don't have a car, and the closest grocery store is a half hour walk. So I have to decide if I can spare DH on a crazy Erev Yom Tov for an extra hour (which might wear him out), if my potatoes are worth an extra $20 for the taxi (minimum $10 trip here, no uber), or if I should try to figure out how to make Yom Tov without potatoes.

We have no new clothes for Yom Tov, for any of us. I was really hoping to buy new shoes at least for some of the kids, a number are literally falling apart. I could use new shoes myself, I currently live in Crocs that have no tread left on the bottom, because my sneakers (4+ years old) look awful and my Shabbos shoes (5+ years old) are uncomfortable.

It's VERY hard to buy new shoes for only one kid when it feels like a real Shehecheyanu event, it's just going to make everyone else jealous. But new shoes for all the kids is a $100+ project at minimum.

My credit card bill is late, for the first time in a long time. Other bills are coming up too. Rent was due a few days ago, and we have under $150 in all of the accounts combined.

OTOH I ordered the kids books I promised them a long time ago TTTO about $50. (I hate having to justify things like that. That's one of the worst parts about being poor and on the receiving end, having that kind of decision be judged so harshly.)

To end off on a more positive note, I am a multimillionaire B"H in that my kids are happy, growing, sweet and so pleasant to spend time with (most of the time!). They help each other and me, and those books? They earned them by helping out above and beyond. (We don't have cleaning help now, and I really need that help!)

Gut Yom Tov everyone! Bask in Hashem's warm Sukkah hug!
May this year be Tehei Shnas Parnasa for all Yidden, in Gashmius and in Ruchnius!


If you can create a wishlist of shoes on Amazon and share it with me, I’d love to buy the kids’ shoes. I believe that you can share Amazon wishlists anonymously, and you’ll receive the order. Have a good Yom Tov!!!
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Fox




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 2:53 am
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
If you can create a wishlist of shoes on Amazon and share it with me, I’d love to buy the kids’ shoes. I believe that you can share Amazon wishlists anonymously, and you’ll receive the order. Have a good Yom Tov!!!

Great, great, great idea! Check with Yael, but I'm sure there are many of us who could help in small ways. Sometimes it's something small and dumb that makes you feel like you can hang in there. New shoes for the kids? Of course! But sometimes even a $5.99 kitchen gadget can put a smile on your face and make your life easier.
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amother




Red


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 3:41 am
I am beyond touched, you are all so sweet!

Unfortunately Amazon wishlists share the city of the recipient, so being from a small town I would lose my anonymity right there.

However, the offer already put a real smile on my face and some of the joy of Yom Tov back in my heart. In the zechus of such generosity and pure Ahavas Yisroel, may Hashem fulfill ALL of the items on ALL of our wishlists and bring Moshiach now!
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amother




Purple


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 12:10 pm
just want to chime in.my husband had a failed business and suddenly there where 50 people whom we owed money I couldn't find a job was hell!bh bh bh over the past few years I got a job and slowly slowly we are climbing out of debt. the only thing that kept me afloat was my husband's amuna. reading living emuna every night. it ttly helps with the anxiety. I will pray for you.keep strong and take one day at a time. gl
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amother




Papaya


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 12:33 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don't try convincing myself that having a healthy, steady income will make us blissful, but at least I'll be able to focus on everything else, without the constant lack of funds keeping me back all the time.
Crazy, exhausting day? Pizza or takeout
Tired of walking? Taxi
Ironing stressing me out? Get someone to do it
Too many hours at work? Cut down, no problem
Busy Erev Shabbos? Buy some of the things
There are many more examples, but mostly I feel that it's not the luxuries that I need. I'm not sad that I can't buy designer clothing, or that we don't live in a mansion, I just want peace of mind, with the regular, necessary expenses getting taken care of without any stomach-squeezing stress.


Those are luxuries. Taxi, cleaning lady and take out food is a luxury and not a necessity. Yes it would be nice to have those but you not being able to afford them doesn't make you poor. A lot of people can't afford luxury.
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TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 1:45 pm
amother [ Red ] wrote:
I am beyond touched, you are all so sweet!

Unfortunately Amazon wishlists share the city of the recipient, so being from a small town I would lose my anonymity right there.

However, the offer already put a real smile on my face and some of the joy of Yom Tov back in my heart. In the zechus of such generosity and pure Ahavas Yisroel, may Hashem fulfill ALL of the items on ALL of our wishlists and bring Moshiach now!


I promise not to tell a soul the city! And I'm not on Imamother that much lately, so I highly doubt knowing your city would connect me to your username.

If you don't want to post or PM, email me from an anonymous account, and put your shoes in the list too! chayabraunphotography@gmail.com

I've been through tough financial times... it's so hard... davening for you all!!!
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amother




Coffee


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 1:47 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
In the same situation. Same age too. Was feeling like the only one.
Yes-it's so hard to face that reality!
May this new year bring us all yeshuos in all of these areas.

I'm just so depressed. You'd think if hashem put me in this situation he would at least somehow supply the funds to be able to even do treatments . So here I am hanging up the towel and it's very depressing . It's making me feel really old . The thought that I cant even try to have kids because I cant afford it is just heartbreaking to me . No, I will not take out a loan from bonei olam or a time because how will I pay back the 25k dollar loan in two years ?!
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 2:07 pm
Oh Dear OP,

How I can relate. I wish you and all the others, those who posted here and the many who did not; a wonderful year filled with happiness and riches.

Right now, I'm divorced. Paying CC debt (often the result of a bad marriage and divorce) and tuition, 2/3's of my pay check goes to rent. The rest is literally miraculous. I work full time and freelance for extra income. I've seen miracles, and been forced to beg. I receive food from a local organization. On Erev Rosh Hashana, I took some money a family member gave me, and "splurged" - I went to macy's and bought myself an outfit with stacked on coupons and reductions (BH) - the feeling was amazing.

Right now, my oldest DS has gone to buy stuff for the sukkah, using his own money, I feel awful that I can't afford to cover the cost of the Schach and Lulav and Esrog.


I have 2 teeth that need crowns, can barely chew, and can't scrape enough money together to pay for it.

On the other hand, BH, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a payment plan to pay most bills. That Bitachon and Emunah thing, I have such a love hate relationship with it!

G'Yomtov all!
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amother




Burlywood


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 3:37 pm
If any of you are comfortable to post your Hebrew name and your mother's Hebrew name (so and so bas so and so), it would be my honor to daven for you for yeshuos with parnassah. Please let me feel that I can help you shoulder this (temporary!) burden, thank you...
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naturalmom5




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Oct 13 2019, 4:03 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
I hear you OP. Money is a major stress factor.
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to live without thinking about it. BH it’s not like we don’t have but there are always expenses.
For us it’s currently paying for weddings. Both past & upcoming.
We live abroad & married off sons & the travel expenses, wedding expenses & often sheva brochos expenses are simply crippling for a large family. Then there’s tuition of course.
For us it’s not clothing or school shoes but big ticket items like weddings & setting up the couple . The stress is always there even in the midst of what is a beautiful simcha.
We have family in EY who have always lived on a shoestring budget. I think they just have more bitachon than me.


Gam' baba Basra
Yibneh Bayis V Nosa Ishto

Maybe.. just maybe

Have a good Yom Tov
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imorethanamother




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Oct 17 2019, 1:24 am
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
I'm just so depressed. You'd think if hashem put me in this situation he would at least somehow supply the funds to be able to even do treatments . So here I am hanging up the towel and it's very depressing . It's making me feel really old . The thought that I cant even try to have kids because I cant afford it is just heartbreaking to me . No, I will not take out a loan from bonei olam or a time because how will I pay back the 25k dollar loan in two years ?!


I really want to help! I don't have that kind of money, but maybe between bonei olam and ATime and insurance (if you fight them, sometimes they will cover parts of the treatment) and some donations, we can do it together! And what happens if you're late with repaying your loan?

PM me, or start a chesedfund crowdfunding link! I'll donate.
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