Home

Whats with the lace tops?
Previous  1, 2, 3, 4
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Fashion and Beauty


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




cornflower
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 7:43 pm
If you really followed what the Lubavitcher Rebbe said and wrote throughout his lifetime you would know he always held the sheitel to be the best head covering. To each her own; however, please let’s keep the record straight. And yes he is on record frequently as saying women and their husbands should get the women the nicest most beautiful Sheitels.
Back to top

amother




Sapphire
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 2:15 am
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
If you read the lubavitch Rebbes teshuva carefully he said that a tichel that covers all the hair properly is good, his concern with tichels was that women would slip them off their heads in embarrassment and a wig is harder to just slip off (when he gave this teshuva many women in the us were not covering their hair) - today frum women that are wearing tichels are not going to slip them off their head
Many many Rabbanim praised tichels, it was the way Jewish women covered their hair for thousands of years and it was never a halachic dispute (many Gedolim asured the use of wigs, and those were old ugly wigs)
Standing out by being more modest is never an issue, is it a problem to wear short sleeves among women wearing long sleeves? Standing out in a way that attracts mens attention is not tznius.
The whole point of covering ones hair is to stand out to men that you are not available - and to look prettiest at home, not in the street. Tichels accomplish that very well.
Most Rabbanim when asked will tell you how praiseworthy it is to wear a tichel. How could it not be mehudar


And the “wearing your own hair at home” part that confuses me about people who hold that their hair must be covered at all times at home... even if no one else is there but you and DH. Or communities that shave. Seems like your husband still doesn’t get to enjoy your hair....
Back to top

Frumme




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 8:55 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
And the “wearing your own hair at home” part that confuses me about people who hold that their hair must be covered at all times at home... even if no one else is there but you and DH. Or communities that shave. Seems like your husband still doesn’t get to enjoy your hair....


Nothing to do with your husband enjoying your hair or not. Your hair is for yourself. You cover your hair as a married (or divorced! Or widowed!) Jewish woman because that's the halacha, not because it's for your husband. Your status changes when you become married to one that involves your hair becoming ervah; happens to be that your husband is allowed to see that ervah (as are other women etc).
Back to top

Frumme




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 9:00 pm
amother [ Cyan ] wrote:
Most people hold that you’re not supposed to wear your own hair.


Most people hold it can't be 100% your hair. Many rabbonim say it can be partially your hair. In any case, you need like 6 "ponies" worth of hair to make a sheitel so it's probably not realistic for the majority of women unless they've been saving their hair since they were a teenager
Back to top

amother




Firebrick
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:19 pm
Rav Elyashiv ztl the greatest posek of the litvish world said that a tichel is glatt because a sheitel was always a controversy in halacha (many poskim like the Chasam sofer, the Vilna goan etc... forbade the use if wigs). Many other litvish Gedolim stated the same thing. Rav Elyashiv ztl also stated that the wigs of today are forbidden because they look just like the erva they are covering.
Something that was a halachic controversy can never be mehudar. Sheitels were a major controversy when they first came about because of the reform movement. Non Jews in Europe wore wigs for fashion and beauty, they were always a beauty accessory. They were never worn to cover hair as a religious modest head covering. When Jewish women started copying this about 200 years ago many Rabbanim at the time forbade this practice.
The tichel was how jewish women covered the hair for thousands of years. This was always the modest way to cover the hair. The wigs that are mentioned in the gemara were pieces of hair (peah nachris) that wore worn in the house only for the husband if a woman was balding or had gray hair etc...
When they went out they always covered their heads with cloth
Something that has over 80 poskim that asured it cant be a mehudar head covering. The wig was a heter. Every person that is knowledgable on the subject will tell you so.
There is no litvish minhag to wear a wig. It just because a social norm in the US. It doesnt mean that it is mehudar
Back to top

amother




Yellow
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:23 pm
It's not about minhag. It's about what is halachically acceptable. Wigs are acceptable according to the majority of Ashkenazi poskim.
Back to top

amother




Forestgreen
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:25 pm
im not reading this whole thread but im so confused why you care how another women covers her hair....
Back to top

amother




Firebrick
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:27 pm
Btw this mitzvah is not a chok. There are multiple torah sources stating the reason for the mitzvah which is that the hair of a married women becomes erva, erva is defined as a body part that can cause attraction to men, that's they a womens hair needs to be covered after marriage. To conceal her main beauty from other men.

As Rebbetzin Heller stated so clearly and truthfully - a tichel is number one and a sheitel number two. You can wear number two but dont make it in to number two.

I spoke to Rav Forcheimer directly, he said clearly a tichel is lechatchilah.
Rav Shlomo Miller said that there is no litvish minhag to wear a sheitel and he gave a bracha to those women Miller tichels- he said it is praiseworthy
Back to top

amother




Firebrick
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:32 pm
Sorry! Rebbetzin Heller said dont make number two in to number one.

Rav shlomo miller gave a bracha to any woman that wears a tichel and said it is praiseworthy.

It is halachically acceptable to wear a wig. I wasn't saying otherwise. I was just saying the background to the wig, and how it was a halachic controversy.
Also Rav Elyashiv and some other great Gedolim didnt allow todays wigs which they felt were natural and looked like erva.
Not all wigs are the same....
Back to top

amother




Yellow
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 10:37 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
Sorry! Rebbetzin Heller said dont make number two in to number one.

Rav shlomo miller gave a bracha to any woman that wears a tichel and said it is praiseworthy.

It is halachically acceptable to wear a wig. I wasn't saying otherwise. I was just saying the background to the wig, and how it was a halachic controversy.
Also Rav Elyashiv and some other great Gedolim didnt allow todays wigs which they felt were natural and looked like erva.
Not all wigs are the same....

If it's ok halachically, then it's ok. Plenty of things have had halachic disputes (look at Hillel and Shammai) but at the end of the day, once something is accepted by mainstream poskim then it's ok. If you choose not to, that's fine but it is a halachically valid choice for those who do.
Back to top

Mommyg8




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Apr 04 2021, 11:07 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
Rav Elyashiv ztl the greatest posek of the litvish world said that a tichel is glatt because a sheitel was always a controversy in halacha (many poskim like the Chasam sofer, the Vilna goan etc... forbade the use if wigs). Many other litvish Gedolim stated the same thing. Rav Elyashiv ztl also stated that the wigs of today are forbidden because they look just like the erva they are covering.
Something that was a halachic controversy can never be mehudar. Sheitels were a major controversy when they first came about because of the reform movement. Non Jews in Europe wore wigs for fashion and beauty, they were always a beauty accessory. They were never worn to cover hair as a religious modest head covering. When Jewish women started copying this about 200 years ago many Rabbanim at the time forbade this practice.
The tichel was how jewish women covered the hair for thousands of years. This was always the modest way to cover the hair. The wigs that are mentioned in the gemara were pieces of hair (peah nachris) that wore worn in the house only for the husband if a woman was balding or had gray hair etc...
When they went out they always covered their heads with cloth
Something that has over 80 poskim that asured it cant be a mehudar head covering. The wig was a heter. Every person that is knowledgable on the subject will tell you so.
There is no litvish minhag to wear a wig. It just because a social norm in the US. It doesnt mean that it is mehudar


I just read this over yom tov (where? Cant remember) that both the lubavitcher Rebbe and the Chazon Ish (the Chazon Ish!) encouraged women to wear shaitels rather than tichels. I'm sure there are other Rabbanim that said the same but I'm not well versed on this topic.
Back to top

silbergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:25 pm
Hiya!

Lace tops are something super different from a regular silktop/scalp wig. The top is made almost fully from a very fine, transparent lace. Thus lays flat on the head and also is flat against the hairline. In many women who can wear it (I couldnt for a multitude of reasons), it indeed looks extremely realistic.

Agree with you, I also think that every woman should wear whatever she is comfortable with. It is her mitzvah and her body. Also it is highly community dependent.
Personally, a lace top would be outside of my personal comfort zone, plus they are really high maintenance and very fragile because there is basically just the net holding the hair and theyre very expensive, too. Aint got no time and money for that. My sheitels either are synthetic and cheap or last me 7 plus years. And I have thick, curly natural hair and kind of a widows peak, so it wont even sit right on my head. And in my community, nobody wears them.

But many ladies look good in them and feel good. Live and let live. The right attitude.

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:
Sorry. I guess I’m being misunderstood.
Language barrier I guess.
When I say eh usually I mean I don’t care what people do. I say ehh a lot lol.

Also I looked up wigs in the 90s.....my wig does not look like that!! It has a white/beige part, you can adjust the wig where you want the part to be, to the left, right, middle. Kinda looks like a scalp. I don’t know so much about wig as to what type they are but it’s not a wig that looks extremely wiggy.

If people find joy wearing the same wig I do, okay! If not, okay! There are many many options. A woman can choose what to cover her head with. Not like I’m pointing a gun to her head and saying wear that or else!
Back to top

amother




Silver
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:33 pm
I live in a place where nobody wears a tichel. Most frum women here wear uncovered sheitels. And the chasidic ladies here wear a frisette with tichel or a shpitzel or a short sheitel with hat but no sole tichel.
Someone who came new to the community from Israel and wore a tichel with bobo was told she should wear a sheitel.
A tichel would turn heads big time here. Also among the nonjewish crowd, as hardly anybody wears headscarves except Muslim women, but that also looks different (and there is sadly a lot of Antimuslim sentiment here).
But nobody wears a lacetop, either.
I guess its really a matter of place.
Back to top

amother




Aquamarine
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 1:38 pm
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
I live in a place where nobody wears a tichel. Most frum women here wear uncovered sheitels. And the chasidic ladies here wear a frisette with tichel or a shpitzel or a short sheitel with hat but no sole tichel.
Someone who came new to the community from Israel and wore a tichel with bobo was told she should wear a sheitel.
A tichel would turn heads big time here. Also among the nonjewish crowd, as hardly anybody wears headscarves except Muslim women, but that also looks different (and there is sadly a lot of Antimuslim sentiment here).
But nobody wears a lacetop, either.
I guess its really a matter of place.


This literally has nothing to do with the Op, but what’s a bobo?
Back to top

mochamix18




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 2:48 pm
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
This literally has nothing to do with the Op, but what’s a bobo?

It would a shaper that is worn on the head under a tichel. It gives volume and and also holds the tichel on the head more securely.
Here’s an example
https://www.modest4women.com/w.....y.jpg
Back to top

amother




Firebrick
 

Post Mon, Apr 05 2021, 5:13 pm
That is real discrimation
Someone who is wearing just a tichel should never be told to wear a sheitel - by anyone
It doesn't matter if she stands out, shes standing out by being more modest as a tichel is considered by many many great Gedolim as being the ideal.
And she's not standing out in a way that will cause men inappropriate thoughts- that's the issue with standing out.
Such a woman should be admired and praised. It takes real mesiras nefesh to be wearing a tichel today, especially when so many women are walking around looking very glamorous
Bh I live in a frum community where even though the majority if women wear sheitels those that are trying bravely to wear tichels receive compliments and praises and comments like- oh. I wish I could be doing that! Even the Rebbetzins in town will praise and compliment those women wearing just tichels
One very chashuv Rebbetzin in my community has told me multiple times that she wishes she could wear a tichel, its just so hard to do so, and how it is such a wonderful thing to do
Back to top
Previous  1, 2, 3, 4 Recent Topics

Page 4 of 4 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Fashion and Beauty

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Inexpensive Nursing tops - pls help with finds
by amother
6 Tue, Jun 08 2021, 2:39 pm View last post
[ Poll ] One more lace top thread sorry
by amother
79 Tue, Jun 08 2021, 12:51 pm View last post
Links for summer tops and skirts
by amother
5 Sun, Jun 06 2021, 11:24 pm View last post
Experts and those who know - how can I fix lace front?
by amother
8 Sun, Jun 06 2021, 6:42 pm View last post
Floral tops
by amother
0 Thu, Jun 03 2021, 8:30 pm View last post