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cm




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Sep 20 2019, 4:45 pm
amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:
I think we need to view the situational context of it. If it's a social setting and everyone is introducing themselves on a first name basis, then using Dr. can be out of place. But if the term Mrs, Ms, Miss or Mr. is applicable, then Dr is an equivalent usage.


This.
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Sep 20 2019, 4:48 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
In my opinion that’s weird that she referred to herself as Dr X. I recently started working at a different public school than I used to and I’m finding it really weird that the adults address each other and refer to themselves as Mr. and Ms. even where there are no kids around (like in emails or meetings etc.) I also thought it was weird when a mom of a student called me and introduced herself as Mrs. X.

I guess there are different demographics with different norms? Or maybe this Dr. is used to calling patients from before she retired so she just automatically referred to herself like that?


Yes, there are different norms in different places.

Personally, as a public school teacher, I refer to myself as Mrs. So-and-so when calling my students' parents.

I would have preferred for the staff to call me Ms. So-and-so over my first name, but it just didn't work. The norm in the schools I've worked in is that staff members call each other by first name. What surprises me is that they even call the principal and APs by their first names. I guess that's what you're used to in PS?
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amother




OP


Post  Fri, Sep 20 2019, 5:09 pm
amother [ Ginger ] wrote:
Would you feel the same if it was a Rabbi?


Yeah
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amother




Bisque


Post  Fri, Sep 20 2019, 5:13 pm
amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:
Yes, there are different norms in different places.

Personally, as a public school teacher, I refer to myself as Mrs. So-and-so when calling my students' parents.

I would have preferred for the staff to call me Ms. So-and-so over my first name, but it just didn't work. The norm in the schools I've worked in is that staff members call each other by first name. What surprises me is that they even call the principal and APs by their first names. I guess that's what you're used to in PS?


Yes I am used to that from my previous PS. It’s funny because my old school felt much more professional and the admin team seemed more intimidating but this school is much less professional and the admin team is much more casual in general. But I guess the two issues don’t necessarily go hand in hand.
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chicco




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Sep 20 2019, 5:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
OP here. It felt a little jarring since this person was asking for my assistance, in my professional capacity, for help with a relative of hers. Her message said, This is Dr. Smith. Please cal me back.
And my first thought was. I don't remember being a patient of anyone named Dr. Smith, and why is she calling me at work??

For those mentioning how you address someone on invitations, I think there's a difference between wishing to give someone else an honorary title and someone giving it to himself.


Just by the context that you shared, I wouldn't be surprised if she calls patients all of the time and fell into 'leaving message mode.' There's no way to know. Either way, she is a doctor, and has every right to refer to herself as such. It's not an honorary title. It is an earned title. If someone called and referred to themselves as 'chief doctor' that might be overkill, but regular Dr, I think is fine, and like I mentioned, most likely a slip of habit.
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zaq




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Sep 20 2019, 6:02 pm
OP, it is acceptable, though not really accepted, for a person granted an honorary degree by an educational institution to use the title. Few people do it—it’s a bit self-aggrandizing—but it is acceptable.

Why should a person not use her title just because she’s asking for your help? Do you suddenly become Malkie Katz if you’re asking a child to pick up something you dropped, and Mrs. Katz all other times?
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amother




Goldenrod


Post  Sat, Sep 21 2019, 3:04 pm
Ph.D. here. I never call myself doctor. It feels pretentious.
My work puts me in contact with a number of important rabbis. All of them introduce themselves on the phone by first and last name, not as Rabbi X.
I don't know why this woman introduced herself by title. If you live in a community where everyone uses titles rather than names, she's entitled (pun intended) to be called doctor. In 99 percent of society, though, the polite thing to do is to use your full name.
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amother




Slateblue


Post  Sat, Sep 21 2019, 8:31 pm
gamanit wrote:
It's their choice but personally I use "Ms" I prefer generic Smile


That makes two of us! Though when I deal with the charedi sector such as when my kids were in school, I referred to myself as Mrs. I noticed that in the school directory, the mothers listed as Ms. either had no “and Mr.” listed ( widowed, agunot, or divorced and the Mr. was not in the picture) or the Mr. was at a different address (divorced or separated but in the picture children-wise.) Insisting on Ms. would have created the false impression that I was a single parent. Not that it was anyone’s business.
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amother




OP


Post  Sat, Sep 21 2019, 8:52 pm
amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:
Ph.D. here. I never call myself doctor. It feels pretentious.
My work puts me in contact with a number of important rabbis. All of them introduce themselves on the phone by first and last name, not as Rabbi X.
I don't know why this woman introduced herself by title. If you live in a community where everyone uses titles rather than names, she's entitled (pun intended) to be called doctor. In 99 percent of society, though, the polite thing to do is to use your full name.


Your post resonates. She's actually not part of my community at all, she's not Jewish.
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dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Sep 21 2019, 9:28 pm
[quote="Squishy"]It's pretentious to introduce yourself as Mrs. Squishy in secular society. In frum society with its frum rules, Mrs. Squishy is normal. I have friends for a decade who call me Mrs. Squishy. They also call me Mrs. my husband's first name

True, in frum world you ask someone, "What's your name" answer will be Weiss. In secular world, answer to "what's your name?" would be Laura or Cathy etc.
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Notsobusy




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Sep 21 2019, 9:32 pm
[quote="dankbar"]
Squishy wrote:
It's pretentious to introduce yourself as Mrs. Squishy in secular society. In frum society with its frum rules, Mrs. Squishy is normal. I have friends for a decade who call me Mrs. Squishy. They also call me Mrs. my husband's first name

True, in frum world you ask someone, "What's your name" answer will be Weiss. In secular world, answer to "what's your name?" would be Laura or Cathy etc.


I ALWAYS introduce myself by my first name, sometimes first and last, depending on the situation, but I would never introduce myself by my last name.
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amother




Azure


Post  Sat, Sep 21 2019, 9:53 pm
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amother




Yellow


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 1:15 am
Notsobusy wrote:
I ALWAYS introduce myself by my first name, sometimes first and last, depending on the situation, but I would never introduce myself by my last name.


I work with lots of jewish girls and non jews. its funny to see how when you ask a jewish girl her name they mostly say first and last name. non jews only say first name.
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amother




Silver


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 1:16 am
Funny, because I have the exact opposite every time Dr calls (for reference- she is medical director of a major specialty)
“Hi, it’s Suzan* from the hospital is this bailas mom or Mrs xyz”. And every time I’m again caught by surprise... same with emails, never signs as Dr just first name or first & last name (which many do as well).
So I guess it’s just a type, and how humble you are...
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andrea levy




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 1:21 am
I’ll never forget bumping into my 75 year old first cousin once removed who happens to have a PhD in the grocery store. We are not close and don’t see each other often. I was then with my 15 year old asd son who is also very polite. He asked her how he should address her and she said ‘dr. Almoni’. I said ‘ how about ‘cousin plonit?’ And she was like ‘riiight.’ I think she realized how stupid her answer was.
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amother




Powderblue


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 1:29 am
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
You're wrong.

If I am a person who anticipates that you will refer to me by title, then "Dr." is completely accurate. Because that's how I should be addressed, not "Ms."

Ie -- "Hi, Ms. Almoni. This is Dr. Ploni. I'm calling about my daughter, Sara Ploni, who is in your 5th grade class this year."

(Alas, I have a lowly masters, no doctorate.)


Typically I introduce myself by my first name. So I would think it would be. “Hi Mrs almoni. This is [title free first name]”..
If she has to know mother is a dr (why...) the class list would say so.
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singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 3:55 am
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
I work with lots of jewish girls and non jews. its funny to see how when you ask a jewish girl her name they mostly say first and last name. non jews only say first name.


I wonder if Jews typically include last name, bc we all just want to play Jewish geography.
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Iymnok




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 7:37 am
I introduce myself by my full name. Usually because I don’t think people pick up my first name since it’s so uncommon. This is with friends as well as in business/medical interactions.
Getting a call out of the blue from a doctor saying they need to talk to you can be jarring. You have no idea if it’s an oncologist or someone who happens to have a PHD in literature.
Doctors should be aware of this when making calls not related to their practice.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 7:45 am
[quote="dankbar"]
Squishy wrote:
It's pretentious to introduce yourself as Mrs. Squishy in secular society. In frum society with its frum rules, Mrs. Squishy is normal. I have friends for a decade who call me Mrs. Squishy. They also call me Mrs. my husband's first name

True, in frum world you ask someone, "What's your name" answer will be Weiss. In secular world, answer to "what's your name?" would be Laura or Cathy etc.


Nope. That’s only in the chassidish world. I’m Frum and if someone asks me my name, I answer my first name or both my first and last name. Depending on how formal of a meeting it is.
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amother




Amber


Post  Sun, Sep 22 2019, 8:07 am
I work in secular schools and the staff generally refers to each other by last name only. I am at several different schools and people usually use my first name, not sure if it's because I'm not a regular, or because my last name is hard to pronounce.
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