DH is a BT who hasn't integrated into yeshivish culture

Mevater

Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:56 pm

Ruchel wrote:

What about a mixed community, strong MO to light yeshivish? Or even larger?

OP has teenage kids. Once you raise kids one way and send them to a specific kind of school, with certain type of friends, you cant pick up and start new.

amother

Ginger

Mon, Oct 07 2019, 4:44 pm

Ruchel wrote:

What about a mixed community, strong MO to light yeshivish? Or even larger?

It seems like they are happy in their yeshivish community, there are just some minor issues. My father is a BT and actually a tremendous talmid chacham. Most people who know him, and especially learn with him or hear him speak don’t know he is a BT. He has completely integrated in most respects. I know however that there are things that are not completely acceptable that he does and doesn’t realize. For example he will call my mothers friends and random women in the community by their first names, even though that is not very accepted here. He will also comment on women’s appearances, something completely not accepted. I totally understand where OP is coming from.
She’s not looking to change her hashkafos or lifestyle, she wants to know how to express this to her husband.
It doesn’t sound like he’s willing to hear it though, so not sure if there is any advice I can give.