Non Jewish Babysitter

amother

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 9:48 pm

I have a non-jewish babysitter for my baby. Im thinking if its appropriate to call her for rosh hashana and yom kipper while I go to shul. Or rather not go?
I would like to add, I need to pay her regardless

PinkFridge

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 9:52 pm

I totally hear how, if you have a rapport and feel safe leaving your child you'd want to go. But I vote no.
I'm going to assume this is your first year as a mother. If so, mazel tov! Life has changed in so many ways, it's going to change in one more way. Your yamim nora'im will be different. Do what you can, and enjoy and count your blessings, and may they continue!
Gut voch.

amother

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 9:54 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Umein! Thank u

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 10:01 pm

Why not? If you want to go to shul and already have suitable childcare arrangements, what's the question? If you would rather spend the day with your baby, or if your babysitter was already planning on having a paid long weekend, then don't.

cuffs

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 10:01 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I would totally take her if that means I can go listen to shofar like a mentch. And for yom kippur hands down yes take her. It's very hard to be home all day alone with the kids trying to daven and rest...

1091

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 10:02 pm

We left our children for years with our non Jewish nanny in Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It worked very well for us. Since she watched my children all the time, I didn’t see why these days were different.

amother

Green

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 10:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

They're weekdays when your babysitter would be working anyway. Why not? Does she normally need to get in touch with you during the day?

Our non-jewish babysitter always came RH and YK and my mom went to shul. As we got older the babysitter would bring us to shul for the times my mother gave her. Now that babysitter is mostly retired but will be watching my baby when we're at my parents for RH and YK

out-of-towner

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 10:06 pm

When I was anyways paying my babysitter of course I would have her come on YT and use her as long as I needed.

(However I was a little upset when I found out that she had taken my kids to the grocery store on YK. Luckily they were relatively young and didn't understand, but having her on YK was really helpful and allowed me to fast properly, and as I mentioned I was going to be paying her regardless. )

dankbar

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 10:40 pm

It's ok if she is their regular babysitter, even if she just helps you with kids in house while you are home, so you can better fast, daven or if you have no energy to take care of them. About going to shul, depends on priority for you, question is do you belong home with your kids, and not in shul, when your kids are young & need you or should you rather go daven if you could? Everyone holds differently.

amother

Lemon

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 10:52 pm

I always enjoyed having my nanny watch the kids so I could go to shul got one tefilah each morning of yamim noraim. I was paying her anyway, getting in a tefilah with full kavana was amazing. My kids loved her and there was no downside for them whatsoever- it was a treat to get to go to the park with her.

imasinger

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 11:07 pm

I used a non Jewish babysitter to go to RH and YK morning, and on kol nidrei when my kids were little.

I think it depends on your community and your family.

I left explicit directions about not turning things on and off, etc, and left agreed-on payment in an envelope.

I found that getting at least a little time for yamim noraim davening in shul was very important to me, and gave me the koach to grow as a mother as well as in the other ways I needed.

tichellady

Sat, Sep 21 2019, 11:35 pm

Why not? I plan to hire someone for Yom Kippur so I can rest and not leave my house if I’m feeling sick and my baby needs to get out

amother

Violet

Sun, Sep 22 2019, 12:53 am

Why not? I don't have a regular babysitter but we're going to my in laws and my MIL makes arrangements with her cleaning lady to watch my baby so I can get to shul for a bit. Obviously I wouldn't leave my baby with someone who I don't trust, but this woman is a doll and loves kids and my kids love her too.

monkeys

Sun, Sep 22 2019, 2:43 am

PinkFridge wrote:

Why?! Why shouldn’t she be able to hear shofar like a mentsch if she has the opportunity? I have my nanny come Rosh hashana and Yom Kippur and it’s a lifesaver for me.

DrMom

Sun, Sep 22 2019, 4:05 am

I don't understand why you wouldn't ask her to watch your baby on RH/YK.

I figured that was one of the perks to hiring a non-Jewish sitter.

PinkFridge

Sun, Sep 22 2019, 8:21 am

monkeys wrote:

Why?! Why shouldn’t she be able to hear shofar like a mentsch if she has the opportunity? I have my nanny come Rosh hashana and Yom Kippur and it’s a lifesaver for me.

OK, I'm outvoted ;-D

amother

Lime

Sun, Sep 22 2019, 8:49 am

PinkFridge wrote:

OK, I'm outvoted ;-D

I agree with you. Then again I would never leave my child with a non Jew. But on rh I daven out loud sing with my young kids. Take them for shofar....

trixx

Sun, Sep 22 2019, 8:55 am

I'm surprised no one mentioned that you might have to ask a rav about hiring a non jew on these days?