What's your pet peeve?

amother

Linen

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 8:04 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Um, u were the one who made the error not them.

So what? Maybe the person did mean to call, but didn't want to leave a message. That's their right too. When someone calls back the last number if they didn't know the caller, I assume it's someone with too much time on their hands.

amother

Beige

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 8:23 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

I always call back numbers. I have people that are not saved in contacts as well as work related calls that I sometimes let go to voice mail prior to calling back. Yes sometimes it is a scammer but majority of the time it is an important call.
And NO I do NOT have a moment to spare

groovy1224

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 1:35 pm

Just thought of another one-

overuse of the word 'literally'

As in:
I literally died
My jaw literally hit the floor
I literally cannot breathe

Um..call a doctor?

keym

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 1:37 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

Just thought of another one-

overuse of the word 'literally'

As in:
I literally died
My jaw literally hit the floor
I literally cannot breathe

Um..call a doctor?

Which reminds me of my favorite joke.
I replaced my husband's bed with a trampoline. He literally hit the roof.

amother

Jade

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 1:49 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Don't expect thanks for doing something nobody asked for.

Yes, dropping a door on some is menchlich. (Sarcastic)
Have some manners and just say thank you.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 2:01 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

Yes, dropping a door on some is menchlich. (Sarcastic)
Have some manners and just say thank you.

If you were going to drop a door on them, not dropping it is not doing them a favor. If you are opening the door for them instead of letting them open the door themselves, you are choosing to initiate an interaction with someone who never asked to start one with you. If someone ignores you, they are strongly hinting that they wanted to be left alone the whole time and you should just leave people alone when they want to be left alone.

amother

Wine

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 2:06 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Opening a door isn't initiating an interaction. It's basic good manners. And the person for whom a door is opened needs to have the good manners to say thank you.
If you want to be left alone, stay at home. When out in the world, you're sharing space with others. Polite people will do things like opening doors and acknowledging kindness.

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 2:43 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

If a store has shopping cart return areas, I think it's lazy for people not to use them. They're usually in every aisle, so it would only take 15 seconds to put your cart there.

But when a store doesn't have them, I wouldn't expect people to move their cart back to where they got them because sometimes if you parked a distance away, and you have kids in the car, you can't really just walk a minute there and back to return the cart.

But in that case, you can still find a place to put the cart where it's not stopping anyone from pulling out.

My personal favorite was the lady at Gourmet Glatt who wheeled her shopping cart directly into the handicapped spot.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:06 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

It's not good manners, it's patronizing.

amother

Denim

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:07 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Don’t ever assume. Especially towards not being dan l’kaf zchus.

Cheiny

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:09 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

I was at DMV today and I was struck at how many people (men) actually let the heavy doors slam in my face. They saw me coming, went it quickly and didn’t have the decency to hold it for a second and allow me to follow them in. I made sure to hold the door for the people behind me.

SixOfWands

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:31 pm

singleagain wrote:

How is it patronizing?

Yeah, I'm trying to figure that out. When I get to the door of the gym immediately before the weightlifter, and hold it open for him to exit, I assure you I'm not suggesting that he doesn't have the strength to open it.

And when I open the door for someone with a stroller, I'm remembering my own days of trying to juggle door and stroller, and trying to make it easier for them.

And unless you're my friend, or maybe Milo Ventimiglia, you can be assured that I didn't hold the elevator for you because I wanted your company

I'm not initiating contact or a relationship. I'm being polite. And the polite response is thanks, or a nod, or a smile.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:42 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

It's not good manners, it's patronizing.

Its helpful.

And the person who don't say 'thank-you' to the person who held the door open for them so that they could push a stroller through 'hands free' - is basically implying 'I'm entitled to this - so there is no need to show any gratitude'.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:44 pm

Cheiny wrote:

That's very social of you.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:47 pm

Opening a door for someone is patronizing because it deprives them of their agency. They were just going about minding their own business, and you decided to engage them in an interaction against their will by taking possession of the doorway they were about to walk through and demanding that they engage with you in return.

Iymnok

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:49 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Are you always so antisocial?

amother

Jade

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:51 pm

Aquamarine,
Can you please wear an Aquamarine feather on your hat when you go out, as I do not want to offend you, but yeah, I'm going to hold doors for anyone not wearing the feather.
Additionally, I'm going to say please and thank you, and if you have kids with you, I will even offer to return your shopping cart for you when I put mine away.

SixOfWands

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:52 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Depriving them of their agency? Like, you really, really wanted to open that door by yourself, but were deprived of that right by that nasty, low-down person who held it for you?

So don't go through it. They'll give you your agency back.

Wish we all knew who you were. I'm sure we'd all be glad to slam heavy doors in your face when you're juggling a couple of toddlers and a week's worth of groceries. It would be my pleasure.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 3:57 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

The person can choose not to go through the door. No deprivation of agency.

and neither party has possession of the doorway.